I have this friend who has, over the years, become skilled in many areas. Photography, bringing antiques clocks and furniture back to life, automotive repairs, etc. His latest pursuit is jewelry making, mostly casting gold rings for now.
I have tried in various ways to refuse some of his offers to make something for me, mostly because his tastes and mine are quite different, but it often fails. For example, if he does a photo session with me or my family, he'll take it upon himself to enlarge one of the pictures and frame it, when I have told him I don't particularly care for photographs of me hanging on the wall, and I'm extremely critical of my pictures in the first place, I hardly ever like one out of 36, and he's into large format cameras right now, not my favorite medium. After a bit of insistence on his part, I told him I no longer was interested in photo sessions, at least not for now. I don't think he took it too well, but water has passed under the bridge.
Going back to the jewelry making: he said he wanted to design a ring for me. I told him I would prefer he held off for a while, and I could tell him later what would complete my collection, if I came upon a design I liked. He answered:
Fabienne, I am well aware that I'm wading into dangerous waters. I am asking for no commitment on your part. If you were to take something that I'd designed and fabricated just for you, and threw it into a box, never to wear it, it wouldn't matter to me. What would matter to me is that your fingers might occasionally run past it on the way to a more attractive piece, and you'd think kind thoughts, if only fleetingly, of the person that cared enough about you to create it. I ask only that in return.
While I appreciate the attention, you will notice he is not respecting my wishes. Does anybody have suggestions so I may tactfully prevent this kind of situation in the future? I'm at a loss.
I have tried in various ways to refuse some of his offers to make something for me, mostly because his tastes and mine are quite different, but it often fails. For example, if he does a photo session with me or my family, he'll take it upon himself to enlarge one of the pictures and frame it, when I have told him I don't particularly care for photographs of me hanging on the wall, and I'm extremely critical of my pictures in the first place, I hardly ever like one out of 36, and he's into large format cameras right now, not my favorite medium. After a bit of insistence on his part, I told him I no longer was interested in photo sessions, at least not for now. I don't think he took it too well, but water has passed under the bridge.
Going back to the jewelry making: he said he wanted to design a ring for me. I told him I would prefer he held off for a while, and I could tell him later what would complete my collection, if I came upon a design I liked. He answered:
Fabienne, I am well aware that I'm wading into dangerous waters. I am asking for no commitment on your part. If you were to take something that I'd designed and fabricated just for you, and threw it into a box, never to wear it, it wouldn't matter to me. What would matter to me is that your fingers might occasionally run past it on the way to a more attractive piece, and you'd think kind thoughts, if only fleetingly, of the person that cared enough about you to create it. I ask only that in return.
While I appreciate the attention, you will notice he is not respecting my wishes. Does anybody have suggestions so I may tactfully prevent this kind of situation in the future? I'm at a loss.
