Question on cufflinks for my wedding

[scarsunseen]

I am having a SB peak lapel DJ tailored for me for my upcoming wedding and am caught between two opposing forces. On the one side is my desire to wear proper black tie, as it is an evening wedding and since I am putting money into my attire, I'd like something of lasting value to result(aside from the marriage itself, of course). On the other side, is my Japanese fiancee, who thinks that classic black tie is to plain for a wedding(I looked into rentals here in Okinawa, but their idea of black tie highly resembles the costume of a Spanish Matador).

So I am trying to bend a little to appease my bride-to-be without looking like I'm back at my high school prom(I do cringe at those pictures now that I know better). While looking around for ideas, I found some topaz cufflinks and studs that I did like, but I am wondering if they might be too flashy and distracting for black tie.

http://www.formalonline.com/formal-w...ge.php?pID=411

Any thoughts?

 

[valejo]

I think those are a great compromise.

 

[Concordia]

More than I would do, but it depends on your personal style and the context. I remember being tempted by various jade cufflinks in Hong Kong that would have looked unspeakably vulgar back home. And the topaz set certainly doesn't sink to that level.

 

[Sator]

Those are way too blingy for my taste.

My understanding is that evening dress has never been widely adopted on in Japan (either that or it has simply died out) except white tie for state affairs. However, it is common in Japan for morning dress to be worn as wedding attire - in which case you can dispense with shirt studs.

What time is the wedding taking place? Are evening weddings common in Japan?

 

[Bird's One View]

Those are not bad looking links, but I would hesitate to wear them with black tie. Or, indeed, with the matching studs in any context.

If onyx or pure white MOP is "too plain," you can find smokey or subtly colored MOP (which is sometimes probably abalone) which has a little more going on visually.

Another option to consider: if you own any links of significant sentimental value (gift or inheritance from a relative or mentor) I could see wearing them at your wedding regardless of their style. Well, maybe not those ones with the dancing girls on them....

One more idea -- and I'm winging it here; I have no idea if the rules back me up -- if you decide to go with more colorful cufflinks, I would still recommend "normal" (onyx or MOP) black tie studs rather than studs that match the colorful links.

Whatever you wear, congratulations and best wishes.

 

[Sator]

BTW I take it you have read this haven't you? http://www.askandyaboutclothes.com/T...DINGATTIRE.htm

 

[scarsunseen]

Thanks for the advice, all. I pretty much assumed the studs were too loud, but I wasn't sure about the links. The ceremony will be taking place At 6 PM, with he reception to follow immediately after. Yes, I have read that AAAC article, though most of it seemed to concern daytime weddings.

If I had it my way I wouldn't even need to ask about this, but I am trying to appease the fiancee while still trying to keep it classy. She would have me wearing a horrid mess of wool and sequins. I'm just trying to get something I won't cringe at 20 years down the road.

I wonder if maybe something similar to those cufflinks with a cabochon might work better. Add a little bit of color without the flash that facets bring. Then again, maybe cufflinks aren't what I should be focusing on. After all, a stone on the cuff might detract from the ring on the finger.

 

[fashionsnob]

Why not get some engravable cufflinks for you and the groomsmen. You can engrave your wedding date, names, etc. There are plenty of places online where you can order nice cufflinks at reasonable prices. They even custom engrave them for you.

A friend of mine recently got married and I was part of the wedding party. He did this and it really came across really well.