Putting Off The Married Life

[Rambo]

Interesting discussion in here

 

[Mark from Plano]

Joke:

A woman is looking for a birthday present for her young niece. She walks by a toy store and decides to go in. After looking around for a while she sees the Barbi aisle and starts looking around. She sees the Malibu Barbie, picks up the box and sees the price tag of $40. Puts it back on the shelf. Picks up the Flight Attendant Barbie: $40. Puts it back and picks up the CEO Barbie: $40. Puts it back and picks up the Divorcee Barbie: $350.

Lady goes to the clerk and asks for help. "Tell me," she asks "why the Malibu Barbie, the Flight Attendant Barbie and the CEO Barbie are all $40, but the Divorcee Barbie is $350."

"That's easy," replies the clerk "Divorcee Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat..."

 

[The Snob]

Originally Posted by longskate88

Do you think her clinging to youth was a symptom of not having kids, or simply getting old? I figure she's cling the same way to kids if she had them.

It wasn't only a symptom of her not having kids--it was also the fact that outside of her professional career, she really had NOTHING GOING ON FOR HER. She was single (and probably continues to be because the ***** is crazy). She goes on vacations with her ******* 80 year old mother for god sakes. Frankly, the thing is, even if you're happy being single, odds are, your friends will be pairing up. And really, it's different hanging out with married friends especially when they have kids (as I know since a few of my friends have kids already). I think my old boss loosened up a bit recently as her married friends' kids started leaving the nest--nonetheless, she was desperate and sad. I pitied her.

I disagree about procreation being the point of life. Do I know what the point of life is? No, but I hope it's something greater than reproducing, again that's my selfishness and idealism speaking.

Yeah, I think that is also your idealistic youth speaking. Believe me, we've all had our spells of this. Are you just graduating college? Get working behind a desk for a few years and suddenly you realize how quickly passing life is. Sure, you can do things for yourself. I did; I took all of last year off and backpacked the world. Still though, lacking a trust fund, I am going to need to go back to a deskjob soon. And it'll be more of the same **** day in day out until I figure out what I really want to do (and that will be a miracle).

 

[Etienne]

Originally Posted by The Snob

QUESTION TO THE MEN WHO INTEND ON MARRYING LATE: At what age do you plan on getting married and how old do you suspect your future wife will be?
No plan here. I'm 31. I have been engaged twice, but did not marry. I am in no rush to get married or have kids. My older sister just had her first kid at 37, so I gues it runs in the family (she is not married and does not intend to marry, though she lives with the father).

I guess I'll probably get married around 35-40, to a person about the same age as me at the time (never had a gf with a big age difference, I've done -4 years and +4 years but that's it).

Originally Posted by The Snob

I figure the baby part only lasts a couple of years... and then it's a lifetime of rewards
I'll respectfully have to say that you seem to have a lot to learn about being a parent.

 

[Connemara]

Etienne, you're younger than I imagined.

 

[username79]

Originally Posted by edmorel

It just seems like very emotionally immature positiion to take to say "I am not going to get married until a do a cost/benefit analysis and figure out what the opportunity costs are"

Why not? That's perfectly logical.

 

[dah328]

Originally Posted by Étienne

Originally Posted by The Snob

I figure the baby part only lasts a couple of years... and then it's a lifetime of rewards
I'll respectfully have to say that you seem to have a lot to learn about being a parent.

 

[The Snob]

Originally Posted by Étienne

I'll respectfully have to say that you seem to have a lot to learn about being a parent.

Welllll, lots of hard work of course, but after the baby stage and into the precocious child stage and onwards, it will definitely be a lifetime of rewards. Not to brag but I've been infinitely rewarding for my parents. heh heh

 

[Etienne]

Originally Posted by Connemara

Etienne, you're younger than I imagined.
Well, according to Tokyo Slim I am about 100 years old

 

[Rambo]

Originally Posted by Étienne

Well, according to Tokyo Slim I am about 100 years old

Is says right here under the minimum requirements! I bet you've never even seen a smartphone.

 

[Rambo]

I finally found this article from Men's Health Best Life about the screwing of fathers when it comes to parental visitation rights. A very interesting read:

Welcome to the world of court-ordered supervised visitation, where thousands of American fathers are considered guilty until proven innocent

 

[Tommy Trolley]

Can't believe I've read all 19 pages. The last couple pages paid off, getting back to the original topic and less about prenups. Interesting takes on the subject of marriage here. It's no wonder the issue of same-sex unions is so talked about when we as a culture have lost the ability to hold a consistent definition of marriage and it's greater meaning and implications.

As with many "traditions" the modern era has eliminated much of the old world necessity. Marrying, one of the most important events in a persons life historically has in so many ways become obsolete. Sex can be readily had, Illegitimacy is no longer as stigmatized, and a legal system is in place to protect parties in shared business transactions and civil disputes. The wedding day can seem like a vestige that we are close to shedding from our midst once and for all.

Having said that, it is clear to me that the necessity of marriage is stronger than ever. You may dispute this, but you can't ignore the popularity of the institution when even gay people want in on it. But popular doesn't equal necessary.

Now, why are we "putting off the married life" later or all-together? My contention is that it's good for the GDP and good for business, therefore good for America, at least in the short term. Therefore a concerted, if unconscious effort has been made to encourage us to avoid or forego getting hitched.

How is it good for business? Lets say there are 100 million single people in America (age 18-80). If they all paired up and got married this month 50 million apartment, condo units, and houses would flood the market. In many cases, one spouse would leave the job market. Less singles means less business (over all) for nightclubs, restaurants, and much of the sundry leisure expenditures made by people seeking amusement, mates, or what-not. Less spent on fashion and cosmetics and image-based products because once married, a majority will forego some of the pursuits to attracting and maintaining the opposite sex. (not SF members, of course) And what happens to the decision to drop 2 grand on one suit when there is a future college fund to consider?

That's not really where I wanted to go in this post, but it's where my thoughts led me. I don't think it's a conspiracy, but the fact that unmarried people consume far more goods and services than if they were paired up is why I suspect late-life marriages and high rates of divorce haven't raised an alarm for a full-out crisis. Why do we put off marriage? We are selfish. I am, or have been very selfish. Now I'm getting older, dating has become more of a chore, and I think I'm worse off because I'm not yet married.

I F'ing hate that I'm still single at 37. You who are younger take heed. Marry a nice reliable girl who floats your boat. Don't be as picky and as demanding as some here come across as, don't listen to sitcom logic, and don't believe Hefner. Observe how truly pitiful he is. If Hef were anyone else, he wouldn't be Hef. Don't listen to that voice that says, "so many hot women I have yet to ****." One is much like the rest and like a drug will leave you unsatisfied yet needing another score.

And picture yourself in a doctors office awaiting the biopsy result. Who will be there for you when the worst happens? The girl who agreed to the prenup? She would rather cash in at a loss than weather the "for worse" when the "for better" has run out. If it's a choice between losing half my things and risking being alone at the end, just remember: you ain't taking it with you.

And remember, if it starts to look like she was the wrong girl, she's probably thinking the same about you.

Didn't plan on going there, either. But I did. Good night.

 

[Etienne]

Originally Posted by Tommy Trolley

Lets say there are 100 million single people in America (age 18-80). If they all paired up and got married this month 50 million apartment, condo units, and houses would flood the market.
Wow, you need to be married to live together in the US?

 

[longskate88]

Originally Posted by Tommy Trolley

...I F'ing hate that I'm still single at 37. You who are younger take heed. Marry a nice reliable girl who floats your boat. Don't be as picky and as demanding as some here come across as, don't listen to sitcom logic, and don't believe Hefner. Observe how truly pitiful he is. If Hef were anyone else, he wouldn't be Hef. Don't listen to that voice that says, "so many hot women I have yet to ****." One is much like the rest and like a drug will leave you unsatisfied yet needing another score. And picture yourself in a doctors office awaiting the biopsy result. Who will be there for you when the worst happens? The girl who agreed to the prenup? She would rather cash in at a loss than weather the "for worse" when the "for better" has run out. If it's a choice between losing half my things and risking being alone at the end, just remember: you ain't taking it with you. And remember, if it starts to look like she was the wrong girl, she's probably thinking the same about you. Didn't plan on going there, either. But I did. Good night.
Thanks for taking the time. This made me think of the recent article on how the internet and world-wide connectivity has negatively impacted young people's ability to make decisions. With an infinite number of choices, we're having a hard time being satisfied with what we have. Secondly, I think our culture and advertising heavily pushes the "NEW!" "EXCITING!" product and encourages us to strive for bigger and better things (both material and non), which goes against your theory of finding someone adequate to settle down with. Men think they need/deserve a supermodel looking wife, since all the media portrays that. Women have been empowered to choose freely their mate and marriage traditions have relaxed as you said, so being single longer has lost some of it's stigma. I think your theory works in a small town setting, but in the interconnected fast-paced world, everyone's looking to trade-up a little more often, which makes "til death do us part" a little less comforting, and a little more restricting. GQ British did a great article on the Hefner pheonomenon, the final sentence was something to this effect: "While you sit their, stuffing your wrinkly face into the perky breasts of a stripper who's disgusted by your decrepitude of old age, a man you've never met, in a town you've never been to, is sitting down to some home-cooked lasagna and a Golden Girls re-run with your ex-wife."

 

[dkzzzz]

Originally Posted by Manton

You are making Vox seem subtle and humble at the same time, which takes some doing.

Oh, ***** please don't be jealaous of him just casue he has better wardrobe.