Politeness

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Kent Wang, Jun 17, 2006.

  1. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    What about those people who have an Esquire after their names?
     
  2. Margaret

    Margaret Senior member

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    Is "disrespect" a verb?

    No, it's a completely invented variant of 'dis'.

    Wear bespoke, and you will always be addressed appropriately.
     
  3. GreyFlannelMan

    GreyFlannelMan Senior member

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    What about those people who have an Esquire after their names?

    A merchant in the UK sends their catalogs to me with "Esquire" appended to my name. At no point did I inform them that I am, in fact, an attorney. What is the appropriate use outside of legal circles?
     
  4. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    A merchant in the UK sends their catalogs to me with "Esquire" appended to my name. At no point did I inform them that I am, in fact, an attorney. What is the appropriate use outside of legal circles?
    Some non-lawyers like to add it for prestige apparently.
     
  5. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member Admin Moderator

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    I'll agree with SGladwell and Rdawson on this one. I've been called doctor exactly twice. The first time was after my defense, by my committee members, in congratulations. The second was by my father, also in the context of congratulating me. At professional conferences, among complete strangers, I am always introduced by my first name (sometimes my full name), as is everyone else. Anyone insisting on being called doctor would be the butt of jokes, and no one would use the title in a non-sarcastic fashion in any case. Noble Laureates and certain older professors can get away with insisting on the "Professor" title, but only the most pretentious do, and they are still the butt of jokes.

    It does get old quick. Most of my friends have doctorates or are getting them imminently, so insisting on the title would sort of be like insisting that you be called "Champ" because you won a spelling bee.

    My brother is a physician (yes, I know that physicians adopted the title to give themselves more legitimacy, but to me, physicians are "real" doctors), and I guess that his patients call him doctor, but it would be pretentious for him to insist on being called doctor as well. I'd have to give him a quick and sharp smack upside the head if I heard him doing this.

    Edit: On the rare occasion that I have gotten attitude from airline people, I have let drop that I am at Harvard (although I fail to mention that I am a peon). Remarkable what judicious name dropping can accomplish.
     
  6. imageWIS

    imageWIS Senior member

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    Edit: On the rare occasion that I have gotten attitude from airline people, I have let drop that I am at Harvard (although I fail to mention that I am a peon). Remarkable what judicious name dropping can accomplish.

    Do tell.

    Jon.
     
  7. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    A childhood friend's father was an MD, who also had earned a PhD in something. He insisted we call him "Doctor Doctor". I'm not kidding. Pompous ass. Even to a ten-year-old.
     
  8. Aus_MD

    Aus_MD Senior member

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    The latter also gave me a $10 credit for being overly familiar with and disrespectful to a 65 year-old lawyer with whom it was not a close friend. It said that it did not "intend to disrespect" me.
    Is "disrespect" a verb?


    From the OED
     
  9. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    My favorite are the Spanish aristocrats with their multi-tiered titles such as the Duchess of Alba who is 20 times a Grandee of Spain to boot:

    María del Rosario Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart y Silva, Duquesa de Alba y de Berwick; de Montoro, de Liria y JÃ[​IMG]rica, de Arjona, de Híjar, condesa-duquesa de Olivares, marquesa de San Vicente del Barco, de El Carpio, de Coria, de Eliache, de la Mota, de San Leonardo, de Sarria, de Villanueva del Rio, de Tarazona, de Villanueva del Fresno, de Barcarrota, de la Algaba, de Osera, de Moya, de Almenara, de Valdunquillo y de Mirallo, condesa de Lemos, de Lerín, condestable de Navarra, de Monterrey, de Osorno, de Miranda del Castañar, de Palma del Rio, de Aranda, de Salvatierra, de Andrade, de Ayala, de Fuentes de Valdepero, de Gelves de Villalba, de san Esteban de Gormaz, de Fuentidueña, de Casarrubios del Monte, de Galve, de Santa Cruz de la Sierra y Ribadeo , vizcondesa de la Calzada, marquesa de Oraní
     
  10. rdawson808

    rdawson808 Senior member

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    Anyone insisting on being called doctor would be the butt of jokes, and no one would use the title in a non-sarcastic fashion in any case.

    We actually had a prof in grad school who tried it once. My friend addressed him by his first name and was told "Call me Dr. ___". My friend quite literally laughed at him.


    My brother is a physician (yes, I know that physicians adopted the title to give themselves more legitimacy, but to me, physicians are "real" doctors)

    Damnit. At least it's better than lawyers calling themselves doctor. [And thus opens the can of worms and possibly the flamethrowers.]


    bob
     
  11. skalogre

    skalogre Senior member

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    ...My brother is a physician (yes, I know that physicians adopted the title to give themselves more legitimacy, but to me, physicians are "real" doctors), ....
    Nitpicking here (OMG! That'll be a first! [​IMG] ) but the reverse I'd say, is true. My understanding is that Doctor comes from didactor, literally "instructor", (don't have greek fonts installed here to write it out properly) so technically those in academia would definitely warrant the title. Anyway, I am used to more formality as growing up I would talk to my elders and to, say people around whom I did not know and had some sort of formal business with, in the plural and using Mr or Mrs. Societal quirks I guess, strange to consider that in reality the majority of the USA is less formal than a greek-speaking island in the mediterrannean [​IMG] Not what I expected coming to the country, frankly. Found it but missing the inflection points over the alpha: Διδακτορ
     
  12. alflauren

    alflauren Senior member

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    A merchant in the UK sends their catalogs to me with "Esquire" appended to my name. At no point did I inform them that I am, in fact, an attorney. What is the appropriate use outside of legal circles?

    In America, there is no appropriate use outside of legal circles. In England, it's a gentlemanly suffix.

    Even in the U.S. within the legal profession, people try to be somewhat careful about its use. The common rule is that lawyers only refer to other lawyers as esquire, and that when corresponding with a non-lawyer, you don't use the suffix in your own signature. Likewise, if you're a lawyer, you shouldn't ask or expect anyone who's a non-lawyer to use the suffix when addressing you.

    The "Esq." suffix does serve a purpose, however. Lawyers are big fans of sending letters and "cc'ing" 10 people at the bottom. The "Esq." lets you know which of the people in the "cc" are lawyers and which aren't.
     
  13. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    a friend of an old girlfriend of mine got his doctorate in law from a universtiy in eastern europe, and then, at age 25 or so, put on his answering machine that this was "dr" so and so. all his friends had a great deal of fun leaving messages taht ridiculed him over this.


    We actually had a prof in grad school who tried it once. My friend addressed him by his first name and was told "Call me Dr. ___". My friend quite literally laughed at him.




    Damnit. At least it's better than lawyers calling themselves doctor. [And thus opens the can of worms and possibly the flamethrowers.]


    bob
     
  14. Violinist

    Violinist Senior member

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    I love to call my dad "doc" all the time whenever I come home... he gets all red.
     
  15. j

    j (stands for Jerk) Admin

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    I have decided that my title shall be Excelsior. You may address me as Excelsior or refer to me as The Excelsior since I am the only One.
     

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