Please help!! Need to match girlfriends dress for wedding

[urban87]

Hi theres a wedding coming up THIS MONTH in 2 weeks. and I still dont have a suit. Her mom insists on us matching BUT i dont want to be matchy, matchy but at the same time respect her moms wishes if possible. We are not a part of the wedding party BTW. This is important because this will be the first time i meet the rest of her family so I want to look put together, but not look lke I'm trying too hard. I have picked out a tie to wear but its not set in stone. Im having trouble picking out a suit color, shirt and shoes. PLEASE HELP. Nothing too expensive. I know the fit I want is a slim fit. I was thinking of something from maybe H&M. Im very into fashion but never needed to wear a suit. It would be easy but with her mom wanting us to kinda match its making it hard. Anything you guys could recommend would be way better than what I can think of. I will post pics of her dress and the tie I picked out. Thanks in advance.

 

[JLibourel]

Son, if you are serious about this girl, you are off to a bad start, I fear. I have never heard of such a thing before--girlfriends or brides wanting the matchy-matchy thing, yes, but never the mother. However, if you want to go with the program here--and this gal better be worth it--the tie you picked looks pretty decent. Pair it with a gray suit and a white shirt and you should be okay. I suggest conservative black leather-soled shoes. Avoid the square-toed, rubber-soled stuff. I'd suggest Allen-Edmonds, but they may be too much for your budget.

Can't give you much advice about sources for inexpensive slim-fit suits, but H&M sounds like a good start.

 

[Veremund]

+1. What he said. Word for word.

 

[GBR]

This is absolute nonsense and will surely lead to disaster. This woman is not in charge and the very notion that boy and girl should "match" makes no sense. Maybe she should wear a charcoal grey dress to match your suit!

Do your own thing, if you succumb now, your future is set to be dominated by the silly woman.

 

[Ianiceman]

If there really MUST be an element of matching you could get a cream / off white silk pocket square which is fairly versatile so should work OK if you follow the advice for a gray suit and will be usable in the future and not cost a lot. That's about as far as I would go in attempting to match your date.

 

[msulinski]

I can sort of forgive the matching thing from women who don't know any better, but from her mother? Get out now, while you still can. Alternatively, decide that you are not going to let yourself be bullied by someone who could end up being your mother-in-law. Stand up for yourself now.

 

[HughJ]



Maybe she should wear a charcoal grey dress to match your suit!

I laughed out loud.

OP, if you must get an H&M suit, please make sure that it is not aggressively slim or fashionable (which may be tough to find in that store). Matching issue aside, you want to make a good first impression, and it's easy to fail the eye test and come off as a douche. You'll get better suggestions if you can give us a price range.

 

[MrDaniels]

You can tell Monster in Law that mens evening dress (both white and black tie) was derived based on the idea that the man would be in black and white, as to set off the gown of the woman. Not saying you should be in black tie by any means....but that is a good thing to know. Being expected to match your date at a wedding where you are a guest? One of the dumbest things I have ever heard. Were they expecting you two to pose on top of the cake?

 

[urban87]

Thanks for the advice guys. Her mom is actually really nice. I actually thought of the grey suit idea but thought i'd look off. Are we talking a light grey suit? photo appreciated. I was considering it with brown shoes but black sounds much better. If i wear the black shoes tho should I wear a black belt also. i think the pocket square may be a nice touch too. but will it look like its too much?

 

[philosophe]

Charcoal grey will look best at night. Avoid light gray. Medium would be OK. One advantage of owning a dark gray suit is that you'll always be able to wear it to other formal occasions--interviews, weddings, funerals, etc. Hence I would not buy anything too fashion-forward--unless, of course, your only interviews are in settings where fashion-forward looks will be best. Think about versatility and moderation.

Definitely get a black belt to match your black shoes.

If you go with the matchy tie to please mom, please do not wear a matchy pocket square. White linen will look much better.

I would try to explain to mom that men's evening wear is designed to be muted so as to show off women's dresses. That might actually work. If it does, you can wear a nicer tie.

Good luck!

 

[msulinski]

I wouldn't bother trying to explain to her Mom why you are wearing what you are wearing. It is none of here business what you wear, and you should not have to justify your choices to her. I would ignore her requests and refuse to engage her if she tries questioning you.

 

[archibaldleach]

Agree with many of the other posters. If you must match, I actually think a pocket square is a better way to do it, but you are better off just looking good.

 

[MyOtherLife]

Her mother should not give advice on mens clothing. That said, you have choices to make:
1)
If you want to marry this girl, then you will have to make the mother happy and hope eternal damnation isn't all that bad.
Wear the tie you posted with a nice tan summer suit, white shirt in poplin, tan or light brown shoes, cream socks, brown belt, and a pocket square of something along the lines of her dress at the bust, but darker, perhaps with a splash of burnt orange and dark green in it. The girl and her now-happy mother will thank you.

2)
Release your lesbian goddess from within and have mom buy you a dress identical to that of her daughter. Have your hair done the same way or wear a lightweight wig.

3)
Do the right thing and wear a charcoal grey or navy suit in Super 100's to contrast your lovely girlfrind instead of outrightly competing with her dress. You should compliment one another and not mimmick.

Have a wonderful time at the wedding and post photos. We love photos!
Welcome to Styleforum urban87.

 

[VinnyMac]

I'll make it simple for you bro':

Grey suit
White Shirt
The tie that you have
Brown shoes
Brown Belt
White pocket square (if you want...with a thin gold trim)


...like a boss.

 

[JLibourel]

In regard to those who advise taking a hard line with the mother-in-law, I would just dispense the hard-won wisdom I have acquired over a long lifetime of suffering at the hands of the baleful tribe of women: Always remember that you are dealing with irrational creatures who above all else positively hate peace. Hence, my foremost advice in dealing with women is:

KEEP THE PEACE!

If the peace can be kept by the simple acquisition of a decent looking necktie, then so be it! I would suggest a solid gold pocket square to harmonize with the necktie. These can be had at low cost from stores like Macy's or Men's Wearhouse. (Some here may tell you that solid-colored pocket squares are sub-par. I disagree. They were good enough for Fred Astaire.)

The suggestion of a tan summer suit with brown shoes is not bad at all. I know that Target has offered khaki suit separates at very reasonable prices, but I'm not sure about current availability. I see that Joseph A. Bank is having a 70% off almost everything sale, and you might pick up something in their Executive or Signature lines at an attractive prices at that discount. I don't think JAB is much into the fashionable slim-cut suits, but as others have said, they are probably best avoided. Many of those who assume the mantle of authority on these topics tell us that tan should be reserved for day wear. Just a thought.

I still think gray would be a more versatile and generally useful color. Personally, I wouldn't go with charcoal, which strikes me as a tad somber for a summer wedding (and also smacks of being the "one and only" suit). A medium or light gray suit would be my preference.

Please do keep us posted on how this matter resolves itself.