Planning for my Wedding Tuxedo

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by vodwat, May 15, 2013.

  1. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    Hi All,

    I am really new here and I have a lot to learn. I used the search function extensively and I really could not find what I was looking for.

    I'm getting married in the fall and I have instructed the groomsman to wear black-tie dress with a few requirements (like only a black bow tie, black cummerbund/waist coat). I am being told by numerous individuals (and I read in some guides) that, as the groom, I should be differentiated from the rest of the groomsmen (i.e., that I should stand out from the group).

    My question is, what can I do (if I even need to), to stand out, without destroying the black-tie ensemble. It seems to me that black-tie by nature allows for little variation. I suppose I could go white tie but I would rather not. Instead, I would like to purchase a high quality, traditional tux that I can use in the future. Not sure if it matters, but the wedding ceremony will be in a NYC church. I'm 5'9" and usually wear 38R.

    Any ideas, input, from this community would be much appreciated.

    Thanks in advance!
     


  2. unbelragazzo

    unbelragazzo Jewfro Dubiously Honored

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    Post your question here:

    http://www.styleforum.net/t/329568/official-wedding-attire-question-answer-picture-thread

    My own response: Whoever told you to differentiate your dress from the groomsmen was wrong. Anyone who can't recognize the groom shouldn't be at the wedding. Wear black tie like the rest of your party. If you want a distinctive touch, get a double-breasted tuxedo jacket. It's unlikely one of the groomsmen will have one. But you'll probably have to get it made for you - they are difficult to find RTW.
     


  3. rohde88

    rohde88 Senior member

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    Stand next to the bride, thats usually a good one.
     


  4. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    Thank you! This is answer I was hoping for. Sorry for not posting in the right thread.
     


  5. mensimageconsultant

    mensimageconsultant Senior member

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    Some people are generic-looking, guests can be distant relatives (or even spouses who have never met the couple), and the groom isn't going to be standing next to the bride the entire time. In other words, looking visually distinct from the other men isn't a bad idea.

    No one has mentioned that tuxedo probably is technically incorrect for the situation.
     


  6. unbelragazzo

    unbelragazzo Jewfro Dubiously Honored

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    Suppose that you're right and the groom is not recognizable to some guests when not in the ceremonial blocking.

    1) Should we really care?

    2) Will the problem be remedied by some piece of costume? In the situation you're describing, the groomsmen may also be absent. The guest is supposed to remember what they wore and notice how the groom is different? Unless you're proposing he wear a sash with "groom" printed on it, I don't know what would cure his anonymity.
     


  7. unbelragazzo

    unbelragazzo Jewfro Dubiously Honored

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    On the correctness, do you mean that it's in a church or that this likely means it is in the daytime? If it's in the daytime, I'd agree and suggest against black tie. If it's in the evening, yet in a church, I think black tie is still ok. It's not really church-wear, but presumably you'll afterwards be eating dinner and making merry, where black tie is more appropriate. Wearing it during a ceremony in church seems like an acceptable compromise.
     


  8. mensimageconsultant

    mensimageconsultant Senior member

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    Sarcasm aside, there's truth in there. If he dresses more colorfully (maybe a burgundy pocket square), that probably will signal to some that he's the groom. Or more formally in general, such as the double-breasted suggestion.
     


  9. unbelragazzo

    unbelragazzo Jewfro Dubiously Honored

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    DB DJ is if anything less formal...at least traditionally. At this point its oddity might be confused for formality. I wouldn't think to associate a burgundy pocket square with groomliness, but I may be rare in that. I am eager to hear from others as well.

    What about your answer to my first question?
     


  10. poorsod

    poorsod Senior member

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    Have you considered wearing a carnation?
     


  11. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    thanks for the input. the church ceremony will be at about 5 pm immediately followed by a whirlwind of photos, cocktails and the reception party. i think black tie is the best option.

    i received some feedback in the wedding thread and i think that i'll be "distinguishing" myself with a formal white waistcoat and require the rest of my party to stick with black. i will also have a slightly different boutinniere. i think it's the best solution for me. now i just have to figure out where to get all this stuff. at least i am in NYC.....
     


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