Personal Questions time: what is your relationship with your fathers and brother(s) like?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by munchausen, Oct 30, 2011.

  1. munchausen

    munchausen Senior member

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    I'm not wanting to have a therapy session. it's just that I've been observing when talking to a lot of my friends that more often than not they have distant or strained relationships with some of their male family members. It's alien to me because my father has more influence on me than any person and my brothers have always been two of my best friends.

    What about you guys? Am I in the minority here or is it just that nobody ever talks about their good relationships?

    [​IMG]
     


  2. Steve Smith

    Steve Smith Senior member

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    I have a great relationship with my father. My brother is my best friend in the world.
     


  3. Piobaire

    Piobaire Not left of center?

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    I have not spoken to my father in over 30 years.
     


  4. hoozah

    hoozah Senior member

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    i feel this will be me in 30 years
     


  5. Piobaire

    Piobaire Not left of center?

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    Well, he died when I was nine.
     


  6. hoozah

    hoozah Senior member

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    oh.. my condolences.

    i just don't have a good relationship with mine
     


  7. Reggs

    Reggs Senior member

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    I'm great friends with my dad, and he's the only person I ask for advice.
     


  8. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    I have a pretty good, but distant, relationship with my dad. most people would say that he deserted me when I was 15, but frankly it was probably the best thing that ever could ahve happened to me, so I do not carry a grudge.

    I am pretty good friends with my brother, less with my sister
     


  9. lasbar

    lasbar Senior member

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    I haven't spoken to my Dad for 15 years ..

    We recently exhanged polite Christmas cards and pictures of the twins...

    My brother is too busy to have a relationship with anyone , except his own children..
     




  10. HgaleK

    HgaleK Senior member

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    My father destroyed every relationship he's ever had. I haven't spoken to him in a long time, and likely won't for a while.

    My little brother and I have an odd relationship. I was in the weird position of trying to balance brother and father roles and kind of fucked that one up. He's older now, I've grown up a bunch, and while we used to fight all the time and still butt heads regularly, we're pretty cool now. I love him more than anyone else in my life, and it looks like we'll be able to have a great relationship as friends and brothers.
     


  11. whiteslashasian

    whiteslashasian Senior member

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    My father is a very complex man, which doesn't come across at first glance. He's the strongest person I know, kind, amiable, sacrifice and hard work are his virtues. He's intelligent, inquisitive, always wants to learn new things (even at 62). He's the handiest person I know. His heart knows no bounds.

    I'm pretty sure I've been slowly "turning into" him. It's not a bad thing, just not something I saw coming until recently. Hell, I even started to use some of his favorite corny phrases that I made fun of as a kid.

    We have a great relationship. I see him several times a month, at least.

    I had to play a sort of father role for my younger brothers as my dad took a job in NYC when I was 11. This meant he lived and worked in NYC 4 nights / 5 days a week. I had to do all the yard work, light maintenance around the house, keep an eye on my brothers, make sure they did homework, played nice, made it home in time for dinner, taught them how to play baseball, worked summers so I could buy a video game or new Console and let them play more than me, enforce rules my mom placed on us, etc. Managing them in a father/brother role was difficult, but I managed to pull it off somehow, and grew up very quickly as a result. I still love hanging out and joking around with my brothers. We all have fairly similar interests and senses of humor which makes things natural for us. They still come to me for advice if they feel they can't talk to the parents about it and I still give unsolicited advice when I feel they need it. My mom said the reason we're so similar is because they've looked up to me their whole lives and do what I do because they know it's a good way to do it; which was exactly what I did with my dad.

    I'm happy with the relationships I have with my father and brothers.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2011


  12. Unbreakable

    Unbreakable Senior member

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    Not spoken with my dad is 5-6 years, last time I heard his voice was on my answering machine wishing me a happy birthday, it wasnt my birthday.

    Ive spoken with my dad probably less than 50 times in my life (Im 30) mom & me left when I was around 3, he was an abusive alcohol/drug addict piece of shit. I remember when I'd go visit him on the rare occasion, he tell me how bad his disease (addiction) was... didnt believe it then, still don't. He is weak.
     


  13. Big Pun

    Big Pun Senior member

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    I feel bad for my dad, all he does is work. He never spent time or got to know me or my brothers, I was never taught by him how to tune up cars, play sports, etc like other kids. Maybe the occasional asswhoopin :lol: He always makes such poor financial decisions, (for example buying a house in Naples, FL right around the time the housing market was peaking) so they are always and forever will be in debt. We never discuss anything outside of money.

    My oldest bro is 10 years my senior, so we never bonded much. But currently I'm renting from him and his woman before I go to basic, so we're starting to become friends over a mutual interest of weightlifting and blackjack.

    Next oldest brother is long gone.

    My older brother by 3 years is completely estranged from family. Growing up he was always sadistic towards me, and he is the most unbalanced fucked up person ever. I blame all my character flaws on subconsciously emulating his behavior. He dropped out of HS, so he attended an ALC with the pregnant bitches and volcano worshipers, barely passed that so he joined army to straighten out his life. Will potentially never speak to him again. Pretty sure he is a cattle rapist.

    I don't know if it's a white people thing, or American thing to have a cold family relationship. Latinos and Asians I know are all tight knit with their kin. I don't know how things are in Europe.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2011


  14. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    I'm friendly with my father and we both have many of the same tastes so I enjoy talking to him. Don't speak to him as much as I should. There was a time when I was younger that our relationship was very strained and we still don't ever talk about anything personal. He had a great career up until a certain point and then suffered from some bad luck. He's probably the only person in the world i feel any compassion for. Don't talk to my brother much although we get on ok when he's not being a baby. I don't talk to my sister. There's no strain there and we get along well but we just don't talk.
     


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