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Personal Questions time: what is your relationship with your fathers and brother(s) like?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by munchausen, Oct 30, 2011.

  1. munchausen

    munchausen Senior member

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    I'm not wanting to have a therapy session. it's just that I've been observing when talking to a lot of my friends that more often than not they have distant or strained relationships with some of their male family members. It's alien to me because my father has more influence on me than any person and my brothers have always been two of my best friends.

    What about you guys? Am I in the minority here or is it just that nobody ever talks about their good relationships?

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Steve Smith

    Steve Smith Senior member

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    I have a great relationship with my father. My brother is my best friend in the world.
     
  3. Piobaire

    Piobaire Senior member

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    I have not spoken to my father in over 30 years.
     
  4. hoozah

    hoozah Senior member

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    i feel this will be me in 30 years
     
  5. Piobaire

    Piobaire Senior member

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    Well, he died when I was nine.
     
  6. hoozah

    hoozah Senior member

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    oh.. my condolences.

    i just don't have a good relationship with mine
     
  7. Reggs

    Reggs Senior member

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    I'm great friends with my dad, and he's the only person I ask for advice.
     
  8. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    I have a pretty good, but distant, relationship with my dad. most people would say that he deserted me when I was 15, but frankly it was probably the best thing that ever could ahve happened to me, so I do not carry a grudge.

    I am pretty good friends with my brother, less with my sister
     
  9. lasbar

    lasbar Senior member

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    I haven't spoken to my Dad for 15 years ..

    We recently exhanged polite Christmas cards and pictures of the twins...

    My brother is too busy to have a relationship with anyone , except his own children..
     
  10. CDFS

    CDFS Senior member

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    I have a good relationship with my father and two brothers. I love them and like spending time with them. I'm not friends with my brothers. They're my brothers, and that says it all.
     
  11. HgaleK

    HgaleK Senior member

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    My father destroyed every relationship he's ever had. I haven't spoken to him in a long time, and likely won't for a while.

    My little brother and I have an odd relationship. I was in the weird position of trying to balance brother and father roles and kind of fucked that one up. He's older now, I've grown up a bunch, and while we used to fight all the time and still butt heads regularly, we're pretty cool now. I love him more than anyone else in my life, and it looks like we'll be able to have a great relationship as friends and brothers.
     
  12. whiteslashasian

    whiteslashasian Senior member

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    My father is a very complex man, which doesn't come across at first glance. He's the strongest person I know, kind, amiable, sacrifice and hard work are his virtues. He's intelligent, inquisitive, always wants to learn new things (even at 62). He's the handiest person I know. His heart knows no bounds.

    I'm pretty sure I've been slowly "turning into" him. It's not a bad thing, just not something I saw coming until recently. Hell, I even started to use some of his favorite corny phrases that I made fun of as a kid.

    We have a great relationship. I see him several times a month, at least.

    I had to play a sort of father role for my younger brothers as my dad took a job in NYC when I was 11. This meant he lived and worked in NYC 4 nights / 5 days a week. I had to do all the yard work, light maintenance around the house, keep an eye on my brothers, make sure they did homework, played nice, made it home in time for dinner, taught them how to play baseball, worked summers so I could buy a video game or new Console and let them play more than me, enforce rules my mom placed on us, etc. Managing them in a father/brother role was difficult, but I managed to pull it off somehow, and grew up very quickly as a result. I still love hanging out and joking around with my brothers. We all have fairly similar interests and senses of humor which makes things natural for us. They still come to me for advice if they feel they can't talk to the parents about it and I still give unsolicited advice when I feel they need it. My mom said the reason we're so similar is because they've looked up to me their whole lives and do what I do because they know it's a good way to do it; which was exactly what I did with my dad.

    I'm happy with the relationships I have with my father and brothers.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2011
  13. Unbreakable

    Unbreakable Senior member

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    Not spoken with my dad is 5-6 years, last time I heard his voice was on my answering machine wishing me a happy birthday, it wasnt my birthday.

    Ive spoken with my dad probably less than 50 times in my life (Im 30) mom & me left when I was around 3, he was an abusive alcohol/drug addict piece of shit. I remember when I'd go visit him on the rare occasion, he tell me how bad his disease (addiction) was... didnt believe it then, still don't. He is weak.
     
  14. Big Pun

    Big Pun Senior member

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    I feel bad for my dad, all he does is work. He never spent time or got to know me or my brothers, I was never taught by him how to tune up cars, play sports, etc like other kids. Maybe the occasional asswhoopin :lol: He always makes such poor financial decisions, (for example buying a house in Naples, FL right around the time the housing market was peaking) so they are always and forever will be in debt. We never discuss anything outside of money.

    My oldest bro is 10 years my senior, so we never bonded much. But currently I'm renting from him and his woman before I go to basic, so we're starting to become friends over a mutual interest of weightlifting and blackjack.

    Next oldest brother is long gone.

    My older brother by 3 years is completely estranged from family. Growing up he was always sadistic towards me, and he is the most unbalanced fucked up person ever. I blame all my character flaws on subconsciously emulating his behavior. He dropped out of HS, so he attended an ALC with the pregnant bitches and volcano worshipers, barely passed that so he joined army to straighten out his life. Will potentially never speak to him again. Pretty sure he is a cattle rapist.

    I don't know if it's a white people thing, or American thing to have a cold family relationship. Latinos and Asians I know are all tight knit with their kin. I don't know how things are in Europe.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2011
  15. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    I'm friendly with my father and we both have many of the same tastes so I enjoy talking to him. Don't speak to him as much as I should. There was a time when I was younger that our relationship was very strained and we still don't ever talk about anything personal. He had a great career up until a certain point and then suffered from some bad luck. He's probably the only person in the world i feel any compassion for. Don't talk to my brother much although we get on ok when he's not being a baby. I don't talk to my sister. There's no strain there and we get along well but we just don't talk.
     
  16. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member Admin Moderator

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    I really admire my father, he is a smart, determined, good family man with some deep convictions, not all of which I share. But he's my dad, and will probably always be able to get me ridiculously frustrated, and I'm sure that I aggravate him, just like I did when I was a kid. We get along pretty well, all in all, though the question is sort of alien to me. I'm Chinese, and for the Chinese, your parents are always your parents, and blood is always blood.

    My brothers, I love all three of those assholes. Like someone said before, they are not my friends. They are my brothers. Some of us have more to talk about with one another, some less. We don't really have gab sessions the way some sisters seem to, but we get along when we are together (which is not often, since we are scattered over the continent.)
     
  17. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    My father has always been an affectionate, yet strong force in my life - he is today as much as he was when I was a child. As I've matured I only appreciate more the values that were, and still are the foundation of his decisions as a father of us boys and the husband of my mother. We have never had a strained relationship because he has always displayed an unconditional love for me through his words and his actions.

    My two older brothers are good people and show their respect for me. As a child and young adult they showed great respect - I felt loved by them. To this day I still talk to them while sharing a underlying feeling of true brotherhood that includes not only a common blood and large percentage of shared experiences but also common interests, sense of humor, and an unimpeded communication with one-another due to a mutual sense of unconditional love as well. I feel very lucky.
     
  18. Rambo

    Rambo Senior member

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    Never knew mine. He beat my mother and left before I was 2 I think. No brothers.
     
  19. lasbar

    lasbar Senior member

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    You're a lucky man...

    Sounds like the Waltons..
     
  20. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    Hmmm. My grandfather was the first influence in my life and the person I most considered my 'father', and he was strict but still kind and unconditional in his acceptance and love. I could not have been raised by a better person.

    It took me a long time to understand and respect my own father, in fact it wasn't until I had my own son that I understood some of the things that originally baffled me. We talk once in a while, but I've had an arms-length relationship with my folks in general, since high school. Then again, estrangement (or perhaps, detachment) is a theme that permeates my parents' relationships with the rest of their own kin, with a few exceptions.

    My brother is a strange case. We're seven years apart, raised in different ways, and could not be more different. We don't have much common ground at all, but I am supportive of him always, even if it is a bit one-sided.
     

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