People who refuse gifts

[Orsini]

Originally Posted by acidicboy

being Chinese, one of the best gifts you can give is a red envelope.
You do not appear to be of Chinese extraction. You look more like old what's-his-name, the late actor... ...Charles Bronson...

 

[cheessus]

The acceptability of cash gifts is cultural, I think. I'm Vietnamese and at my cousin's wedding (he married a Caucasian girl), all the Vietnamese guests gave money, while the other guests gave "normal" registry gifts. It was pretty crazy. Not only did they get enough money to pay off the wedding, they filled up their new house with pretty much everything they needed.

 

[c3cubed]

If you intensely dislike receiving gifts (as I do) the best approach is to work on your reputation as a person that has all of this world's spoils and needs absolutely nothing.

Paradoxically, I really enjoy giving, and the giving of gifts - albeit beautifully wrapped. There is an art to this however, especially when "the thought counts". Make sure it does, and when it does, do it magnificently.

For example: your predicament - is fascinating, because I too had a couple of friends that married with a home requiring renovation.
Instead of a certificate to something in the bridal registry, I went out and hand picked a complete set of high quality hand and power tools, (coveted by professionals no less) and, to wrap it, a proper tool case. They were lacking nothing, and twenty years later, still talk about it to their friends as the best thing they ever received.

More amusing - it was the wife that was the "handyman" (!) and she wouldn't let her husband touch a thing until he took proper courses in do-it-yourself maintenance. That in itself, might also be another appropos gift as a grand finale?

Just an example, but there are ways to get folks to accept your benevolent gestures, that is, if they are indeed worth the expense and more importantly, the kind and carefully thought out act of unique graciousness.

NB: In some cultures, the art of gift giving is a cultural prerequisite. Take Japan, for instance.

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by Orsini

You do not appear to be of Chinese extraction. You look more like old what's-his-name, the late actor...


...Charles Bronson...

my real world name could be Charles Bronson Lee or something.

 

[eg1]

Originally Posted by acidicboy

being Chinese, one of the best gifts you can give is a red envelope.

You like it, the Hong Bao?

 

[sho'nuff]

not sure why anyone would not like receiving or giving gifts, but in my case, we give gifts all the time and to tons of close people and we receive and give gifts that got alot of value, meaning, and/or practicality. i guess because we and they take the time to know each other that we just know what to get them or what we want.

 

[haganah]

I have difficulty accepting gifts and ask people to just donate to a cause instead knowing it would make me much happier, or make me something. Nobody likes the thought of having to make someone something so they usually skip that but I actually would think something someone made would be a lot cooler.

 

[Orsini]

Originally Posted by acidicboy

my real world name could be Charles Bronson Lee or something.
Excellent!