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You can have one of my ducks if you cook both of them and let me have one.
It isn't hard to make. Basically, you tie all of the orifices shut, and then put a straw into the neck and blow it up so that the skin and meat separate. Then you let it rest a while. Next, you dip the bird in boiling water a couple of times, which makes it kind of blow up like a balloon. Next, hang the duck in the fridge for a day or two, take it out, brush it with honey softened with boiling water, and then let it hang again. Then you roast it until well done.