parenting question

[Dewey]

I would not invite the problem kid to the party. Your kid does not want him there. Respect his wishes, it is his day.

And it's not even a day. A birthday party is what, two hours long? I appreciate emptym's wisdom. Seriously he is on to something.

But, you are not going to make a difference in that kid's life, or teach your son a valuable lesson, at a two-hour-long birthday party. The suggestion that you should invite the kid and then devote special attention to him is not realistic, either. A birthday party with 16 kids will be a madhouse, especially once they fill up with cake and ice cream. I don't think it would be wise to plan as though you would be able to control one kid in that crowd.

Finally, I don't think it's nice to patronize the other kid's parent with special demands or warnings. I don't know how you would not look an arrogant ass while you articulated special conditions on the kid and his family. It's a child's birthday party. You are not admitting him to college on a provisional basis.

If the violent kid was a friend of your child's, and if your child wanted him there, then I would invite him and just hope for the best. Odds are nothing out of the ordinary will happen. Plus I would hold back on the cake and ice cream until 30 minutes before the party ends.

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

dude, emptym is a ******* saint - we all look bad next to him.

Originally Posted by emptym

No, I just play one on the internet.

Good luck w/ it!

shut up, mark! you make us all look like goofs. you even stopped me from posting something dumb!

merry christmas, your eminence.

 

[Rambo]

Why not also invite the bully's parents? I suspect he'd be much less likely to pull any of that crap in front of them.

 

[GQgeek]

If you want my advice..... Just kidding. What the **** do I know about parenting?

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by Rambo

Why not also invite the bully's parents? I suspect he'd be much less likely to pull any of that crap in front of them.

can really go either way. enabling parents are common, and they're **** to deal with when it comes to their kids.

 

[Dewey]

Originally Posted by Rambo

Why not also invite the bully's parents? I suspect he'd be much less likely to pull any of that crap in front of them.
Some parents pay no attention to their kids in a setting like this. Good chance the mom or dad would corner some other adult and jabber nonstop while the kid does whatever he wants. We've also discovered, the hard way, that some otherwise nice and well-meaning parents see the birthday party as a chance to run errands -- as free babysitting. You can invite all the parents and still a number will drop the kids off and be gone in a blink. This is why it would take a lot of extra effort, and probably look bad, to be as clear as you'd need to be with the bully's parents. If you are not inviting but requiring his or her presence, and you are requiring that he or she mind her child at your house, then you are making a lot of tense and unusually specific demands for something as low-key as a birthday party.

 

[zissou]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

ok, parenting question - your kid has a birthday party coming up. 17 kids in the class. there is one kid who has some anger and violence issues - has beaten a kid (not your kid) pretty badly unprovoked, and has a lot of other disciplinary issues. your kid wants to invite the whole class, aside from this one kid. your rule is - either the whole class, or less than half the class, but you can't exclude one or two kids. your wife knows the kid is question and doesn;t want him at the party, either - he is simply too much to handle. what do you do?
Contact the parents of all of the other kids outside of school and invite everyone except the bully. The kid's gotta learn that, if he's a dick, he's not going to get invited to parties.

Originally Posted by Rambo

Why not also invite the bully's parents? I suspect he'd be much less likely to pull any of that crap in front of them.
Because if the kid's a bully, then his parents are either dicks, too, or they just don't care. emptym's advice is great, but you're going to be at the party to make sure your kid has a great time, not to devote your attention to the one kid who could ruin it for everyone.

 

[NorCal]

Originally Posted by JustinW

Can my kid come play at your house?

Sure, but first you've got to leave that wasteland you call home and come to the Golden Coast. First Oz and now Texas, you must have a thing for deserts, droughts, and flat, hostile land. Your kid must still be an angel though right? You had one just before as I recall, so he must only be about six months or thereabouts.

 

[Rambo]

Originally Posted by acidboy

can really go either way. enabling parents are common, and they're **** to deal with when it comes to their kids.
True, the parents can be even worse than the kids, but at least you can smack the parents upside the head and nobody will call child protective services on you.

Originally Posted by Dewey

Some parents pay no attention to their kids in a setting like this. Good chance the mom or dad would corner some other adult and jabber nonstop while the kid does whatever he wants. We've also discovered, the hard way, that some otherwise nice and well-meaning parents see the birthday party as a chance to run errands -- as free babysitting. You can invite all the parents and still a number will drop the kids off and be gone in a blink.
Good point. Hell, most parents treat school as nothing more than socialized day care.

Originally Posted by zissou

Because if the kid's a bully, then his parents are either dicks, too, or they just don't care.
Not necessarily. I've heard more than a few stories of parents who had absolutely no idea what was going on with the child's behavior at school. They can be rather gullible when it comes to their little angels.

 

[sho'nuff]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

If you want my advice.....





























Just kidding. What the **** do I know about parenting?

haha for some reason that usage of that smiley in your reply made me laugh

 

[Mr T]

Originally Posted by rnoldh

Don't you have twins? Is the party for them or another of your children?


The party is for one of the twins. The other is the troublemaker. It is a rough family.

 

[CouttsClient]

I would NOT have the trouble maker over.

Forget teaching someone else's child how to behave.

It's yours child's birthday celebration and they shouldn't have to invite someone they don't want there. That's how I see it.

I interact with a large group every week but when I have parties I don't feel obligated to invite people I don't particularly get along with. I think children should learn that they do have some control over their environment

 

[Ambulance Chaser]

Invite the whole class. Feed the violent kid a sedative.

 

[sho'nuff]

Originally Posted by Ambulance Chaser

Invite the whole class. Feed the violent kid a sedative.

/thread

 

[BP348]

Originally Posted by CouttsClient

I would NOT have the trouble maker over.

Forget teaching someone else's child how to behave.

It's yours child's birthday celebration and they shouldn't have to invite someone they don't want there. That's how I see it.

I interact with a large group every week but when I have parties I don't feel obligated to invite people I don't particularly get along with. I think children should learn that they do have some control over their environment

This^

Its your childs B-Day and you should be paying attention to him or her. You shouldn't have to worry if the other kids is getting in to some type of trouble. Are you even going to have the time to try and watch the "bad" kid?