On being the best dressed man in the room - some observations

[BXpress]

What I'm trying to say, sometimes you have to read the situation and adapt to it. Atleast I feel that sometimes dressing too well, going overboard, will result in getting some awkward looks, even though you feel good and confident wearing it.
Maybe you have to give others some slack

In a scenario like you've described, sure. But not if i go to a concert in a Baroque palace, where i don't know the other people and where there is no dress code. in that case you go with what you deem appropriate and it's not my problem that guys choose to attend in jeans and a white shirt untucked . If we were strict about tradition and etiquette, it's an event that would actually warrant Black Tie attire. In that case there is no slack to be given and if anyone feels slighted because i wear a business suit (underdressed actually), then i couldn't care less. In my head i laugh maniacally at their angry stares. In the words of Tony Soprano:" They don't sell hotdogs in here."

 

[pomor]

I have seen people all over Eastern Europe and former Soviet republics, including Russia, dress better than their western counterparts in the last 3-5 years. 30 years ago, those populations were just then emerging from what communism, so the dressing divide was apparent as they didn’t have access to the wealth of clothing choices the West had. Now, 3 decades later that legacy has been erased. I think Eastern Europeans, while mimicking the West in many ways, still dress with more thoughtfully. How long it will last until the Western “dressing laziness” takes over is anyone’s guess, but I do think it will happen eventually.

Unless you are in a super hipster area, the Japanese dress very neatly. They are another standout country.

 

[erakettu]

In a scenario like you've described, sure. But not if i go to a concert in a Baroque palace, where i don't know the other people and where there is no dress code. in that case you go with what you deem appropriate and it's not my problem that guys choose to attend in jeans and a white shirt untucked . If we were strict about tradition and etiquette, it's an event that would actually warrant Black Tie attire. In that case there is no slack to be given and if anyone feels slighted because i wear a business suit (underdressed actually), then i couldn't care less. In my head i laugh maniacally at their angry stares. In the words of Tony Soprano:" They don't sell hotdogs in here."

I agree with this.

Proper attire can be simple, but so many things have impact on it. Some people choose not to follow guidelines, some simply don't know of them. It seems nowadays it's a taboo to tell people what to wear to opera for example. And forementioned resons lead to improper attire.

I haven't had any upbringing about clothing or dress codes really, but will try to learn when occasion comes, due to respect and own interest

 

[dieworkwear]

I have seen people all over Eastern Europe and former Soviet republics, including Russia, dress better than their western counterparts in the last 3-5 years. 30 years ago, those populations were just then emerging from what communism, so the dressing divide was apparent as they didn’t have access to the wealth of clothing choices the West had. Now, 3 decades later that legacy has been erased. I think Eastern Europeans, while mimicking the West in many ways, still dress with more thoughtfully. How long it will last until the Western “dressing laziness” takes over is anyone’s guess, but I do think it will happen eventually.

Unless you are in a super hipster area, the Japanese dress very neatly. They are another standout country.

Really? I used to live in Moscow and that wasn't my experience. Russians can be very warm people, especially once you're considered inside their circle, but I wouldn't say the average Russian dresses better than the average American. At least compared to people in major US cities.

 

[BXpress]

I agree with this.

Proper attire can be simple, but so many things have impact on it. Some people choose not to follow guidelines, some simply don't know of them. It seems nowadays it's a taboo to tell people what to wear to opera for example. And forementioned resons lead to improper attire.

I haven't had any upbringing about clothing or dress codes really, but will try to learn when occasion comes, due to respect and own interest

That's very commendable.

Neither did i and i shudder when i remember all the mistakes i made. But i did know when to show respect and when to wear a suit. Interestingly enough, where i live it's mostly the young and the very old who make an effort. The 40+ guys are the worst slouches over here.

 

[JJ Katz]

The 40+ guys are the worst slouches over here.

That might be something of a generalization but it's certainly true that my generation (in my early 50s now) grew up with the inheritance of the counterculture idiocy that a suit&tie was "da man" and jeans&tee-short was a genuine, kewl person.

 

[BXpress]

That might be something of a generalization but it's certainly true that my generation (in my early 50s now) grew up with the inheritance of the counterculture idiocy that a suit&tie was "da man" and jeans&tee-short was a genuine, kewl person.

That's the impression that i get here. Really, like they refuse to wear a suit and if they do, they look like they're uncomfortable. Like little boys who can't wait to get out of it.

 

[JJ Katz]

Like little boys who can't wait to get out of it.

I cannot help but think that the petulant, childish, oafish 'role models' relentlessly offered up by mass media since the post-counterculture 'irony' wave took over has played a role here. Quoting a piece I wrote

"...if a grown man whines like a child because he has to wear, say, a pair of lace-ups or a tie for a day, he should really cowboy up. Any clothes / shoes that fit properly are plenty comfortable unless you’re doing star jumps (jumping jacks) in them. The comfort vs. appearance break-even point is a lot further up the slope of dressiness than most casual guys think."

 

[BXpress]

Awesome quote

 

[simpleman]

I cannot help but think that the petulant, childish, oafish 'role models' relentlessly offered up by mass media since the post-counterculture 'irony' wave took over has played a role here. Quoting a piece I wrote

"...if a grown man whines like a child because he has to wear, say, a pair of lace-ups or a tie for a day, he should really cowboy up. Any clothes / shoes that fit properly are plenty comfortable unless you’re doing star jumps (jumping jacks) in them. The comfort vs. appearance break-even point is a lot further up the slope of dressiness than most casual guys think."

Exactly, I was no more comfortable or uncomfortable wearing nice clothes on a plane through the day travelling to visiting with family to a rehearsal dinner. In all I was "dressed up" by some people's standards for about 20 hours (it was a REALLY long day). In fact, I find that chinos and dress pants tend be much more comfortable than my jeans.

 

[dieworkwear]

I'm curious, if people here are lamenting that no one in their area wears suits, and presumably they value wearing suits, does that mean you're often the only person who wears a suit in your area?

And did you grow up wearing a suit, or did you pick this up in the last ten or twenty years?

 

[JJ Katz]

I think the infantilism and comfort 'extremism' issues overlap. If an adult thinks that clothes, in order to be practical, have to resist / allow you to throw yourself, literally, onto a bean-bag or roll on the ground or play-wrestle or manhandle dusty boxes at a moment's notice then, yes, creased chinos and a sports jacket, no matter how comfortably fitting, are impractical.

But why, outside of specific situations like manual labour or sports would an adult do any of those things? Only if he (his culture) prized acting like an adolescent indefinitely.

I have noticed that even in rather formal London the majority of catering establishments are becoming furnished / managed /maintained on the assumption that, as you'll be wearing athleisure or factory-floor clothes, it doesn't matter if your seat is greasy, the table-top sticky and the place generally dusty. And these are locales that charge nose-bleed prices for basic comfort food and beer. One still reads restaurant reviews where "white tablecloth dining" is used as a sneering term of opprobrium. As if a clean, sound-absorbing surface was a bad thing....

 

[JJ Katz]

I'm curious, if people here are lamenting that no one in their area wears suits, and presumably they value wearing suits, does that mean you're often the only person who wears a suit in your area?
And did you grow up wearing a suit, or did you pick this up in the last ten or twenty years?

I believe that what other posters were lamenting was the idea that one should feel obligated to dress down to the lowest common denominator regardless of how low that bar is set, even relative to rather proximate history.

I do think more and more people dress in an ugly, slovenly manner but I don't think that it's a tragedy and certainly I don't think that they must "wear suits to the ball park" to be well dressed.

In London suits etc. are still perfectly common, though not at the weekend or in many social settings.

In answer to your question, I did grow up wearing a suit (in a business or 'smart' social settings and my grandfathers wore a tie always except while engaged in sports.

The basic point of the OP was: it's alright to be the 'best-dressed' man in the room, with some exceptions.

 

[dieworkwear]

I believe that what other posters were lamenting was the idea that one should feel obligated to dress down to the lowest common denominator regardless of how low that bar is set, even relative to rather proximate history.

I do think more and more people dress in an ugly, slovenly manner but I don't think that it's a tragedy and certainly I don't think that they must "wear suits to the ball park" to be well dressed.

In London suits etc. are still perfectly common, though not at the weekend or in many social settings.

In answer to your question, I did grow up wearing a suit (in a business or 'smart' social settings and my grandfathers wore a tie always except while engaged in sports.

The basic point of the OP was: it's alright to be the 'best-dressed' man in the room, with some exceptions.

So you've only worn suits your entire life? You've never put on other kinds of garments, outside of when you have to do manual labor or go to sleep?

Are you often the only person that's wearing a suit among other people?

 

[dieworkwear]

I think the infantilism and comfort 'extremism' issues overlap. If an adult thinks that clothes, in order to be practical, have to resist / allow you to throw yourself, literally, onto a bean-bag or roll on the ground or play-wrestle or manhandle dusty boxes at a moment's notice then, yes, creased chinos and a sports jacket, no matter how comfortably fitting, are impractical.

But why, outside of specific situations like manual labour or sports would an adult do any of those things? Only if he (his culture) prized acting like an adolescent indefinitely.

But ... here you ask where to buy a nice pair of jeans?

https://www.styleforum.net/threads/basic-jeans-question.637320/