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Official Wedding Attire Question/Answer/Picture Thread

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by unbelragazzo, Dec 31, 2012.

  1. pasoguava

    pasoguava Active Member

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    Cannot. . . unsee. . .

    Well, you both bring up good points. May very well need to look at the Kent Wang's again.
     
  2. mhdena

    mhdena Senior member

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  3. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    Hi All,

    I am really new here and I have a lot to learn. I stupidly posted this in a new thread and was directed here.

    I'm getting married in the fall and I have instructed the groomsman to wear black-tie dress with a few requirements (like only a black bow tie, black cummerbund/waist coat). I am being told by numerous individuals (and I read in some guides) that, as the groom, I should be differentiated from the rest of the groomsmen (i.e., that I should stand out from the group).

    My question is, what can I do (if I even need to), to stand out, without destroying the black-tie ensemble. It seems to me that black-tie by nature allows for little variation. I suppose I could go white tie but I would rather not. Instead, I would like to purchase a high quality, traditional tux that I can use in the future. Not sure if it matters, but the wedding ceremony will be in a NYC church.

    Any ideas, input, from this community would be much appreciated. The early response is that I should stick with traditional black tie.

    Thanks in advance!
     
  4. aravenel

    aravenel Senior member

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    You do not need to be differentiated. No one is going to mistake you for anyone other than the groom.

    If you really want to, get a boutonniere, or one of a different color than the groomsmen. But don't go screwing with the black-tie basics and wear a colored cummerbund or something--that's insta-fail.
     
  5. ImTheGroom

    ImTheGroom Senior member

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    There are some ways to stand apart, without ruining black tie. You could ask your groomsmen to wear cummerbunds, while you wear a waistcoat, or vice versa. You could add a boutonniere, or add a pocket square for a splash of colour. You could also wear a homburg - it would be under your arm in the church, of course, not on your head. www.blacktieguide.com is a good resource, and includes pages on where you can add some individuality to your ensemble.
     
  6. archibaldleach

    archibaldleach Senior member

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    Vodwat, stick with traditional black tie. There is no need as the groom to differentiate yourself because everyone will know you're the groom. Acceptable variations on black tie largely center around the jacket (SB peak lapel, SB shawl lapel, DB peak lapel, DB shawl lapel OR midnight blue / black), cufflinks / studs used, patent oxfords vs. opera pumps, wing vs. turndown collar for a peak lapel tuxedo, pleat front vs. marcella front shirt. You could wear something differentiated, but (1) it looks odd to have everyone wear the same thing except the groom IMO and (2) if everyone is wearing their own tuxedo, there's going to be some variation so you'll just appear to be wearing one version of black tie among many.
     
  7. RogerC

    RogerC Senior member

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    If you want to differentiate, think about the waistcoats: cummerbunds for the rest, waistcoat for you, or black waistcoats for the rest, white marcella for you.
     
  8. MrDaniels

    MrDaniels Senior member

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    Give all of them a uniform boutonniere, and then get a unique on for yourself.


    Or


    Be the only one with a slick, white pocket square.


    Or



    Be the only one with a vest.


    And an echo of what Roger posted, as another alternative.
     
  9. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    Awesome suggestions guys....just for clarity, when you say slick white pocket square, do you mean high quality, or what exactly makes it slick?
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2013
  10. MrDaniels

    MrDaniels Senior member

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    Oh...just nice quality and placed in a stylish way....
     
  11. Veremund

    Veremund Senior member

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    If you really want to stand apart, wear a white carnation in your lapel and have the groomsmen wear red carnations in theirs.
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. random-adam

    random-adam Senior member

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    Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

    The quoted bit above is what you'd expect to hear from Men's Wearhouse or one of those professional wedding planners. Neither of those existed back when tuxedos were worn on a regular basis. Hmm....

    I'd suggest checking out the advice two-thirds of the way down this page. It should point you in acceptable directions. Consider taking just one or two of the six suggestions presented.
     
  13. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    thank you! i have no idea how i missed that section of the black tie guide. i think the best solution for me is a formal white waistcoat with mother of pearl studs. any pitfalls with this approach?
     
  14. RogerC

    RogerC Senior member

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    No. Just make sure you don't have one of those horrible pin-on boutonnieres.
     
  15. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    my fiance is handling the flowers and i think she ordered a boutonniere but i have no specifics as to what kind. what form do i need to preserve the integrity of the black tie? sorry another newb question.
     
  16. unbelragazzo

    unbelragazzo Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    You're probably SOL on that one. Boutonnieres that I have seen at weddings are always weighty and outsized. Ideally you want something that you can put through the buttonhole in your lapel, rather than something that has to be pinned to the lapel - which can be bad for the lapel if you're wearing silk facings.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2013
  17. vodwat

    vodwat Member

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    i hate those outsized boutonnieres. now i understand the "pin" comment. i will see what i can do with my fiance/florist! thanks [​IMG]
     
  18. unbelragazzo

    unbelragazzo Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Underside of your lapel should have a little loop of silk under the buttonhole to help hold the flower as well.
     
  19. random-adam

    random-adam Senior member

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    And if it doesn't, it's a piece of cake to sew one on. I've done it for every suit jacket and sportcoat I own that didn't come with one.
     
    1 person likes this.
  20. pasoguava

    pasoguava Active Member

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    Could use some input on 18k vs. 14k yellow gold for my wedding band. Anybody have an 18k and regret it due to excessive scratching/denting? I'm set on a traditional yellow gold band and prefer the deeper color of 18k but am very active and wouldn't want the ring to be ridiculously scratched within a year or two.

    Thanks for any input.
     

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