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Office Romance?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by FRATERNITYSTUD, Aug 13, 2006.

  1. FRATERNITYSTUD

    FRATERNITYSTUD Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    58
    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Gentlemen and Ladies - I have pressing issue I was hoping I could get some feedback on. I am a junior person (25 yrs old) in a small private equity shop (8 investment professionals), and our firm recently got a gorgeous receptionist in our office two weeks ago. I have tried to refrain from talking to her much (knowing my temptation level), but we have started to flirt back and forth over the past few days over the office instant messenger.

    So I am in a big conundrum here...I find this woman extremely attractive (it doesn't help she is perfectly my type), and would love to ask her on a date, but am scared of any negative reprecussions that might come from the situation (i.e., she says no and the rest of the office finds out, etc...). Any tips on the best way to proceed here?

    Thx!
     
  2. Mike C.

    Mike C. Senior member

    Messages:
    1,528
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    Mar 5, 2002
    Location:
    New York City
    I don't know how it works over there in Sweden, but I'd hate to risk a fat salaried job in PE over the receptionist.
     
  3. Aaron

    Aaron Senior member

    Messages:
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    Oct 31, 2004
    Location:
    Vancouver and ?
    I would suggest with a firm your size it is a very bad idea to date the receptionist (no matter how attractive she is). You might be able to get away with it at a large corporation with hundreds of employees in one office, even then I wouldn't advise it, but with an office with less than 20 people you're asking for trouble.

    A.
     
  4. kronik

    kronik Senior member

    Messages:
    3,944
    Joined:
    May 2, 2006
    Location:
    Arlington, VA
    Gentlemen and Ladies - I have pressing issue I was hoping I could get some feedback on. I am a junior person (25 yrs old) in a small private equity shop (8 investment professionals), and our firm recently got a gorgeous receptionist in our office two weeks ago. I have tried to refrain from talking to her much (knowing my temptation level), but we have started to flirt back and forth over the past few days over the office instant messenger.

    So I am in a big conundrum here...I find this woman extremely attractive (it doesn't help she is perfectly my type), and would love to ask her on a date, but am scared of any negative reprecussions that might come from the situation (i.e., she says no and the rest of the office finds out, etc...). Any tips on the best way to proceed here?

    Thx!


    Don't.
     
  5. Soph

    Soph Senior member

    Messages:
    4,149
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Location:
    Bologna, Italy
    Only if you really really really like her and feel she is worth the risk.

    As they say, don't *(@# where you eat.
     
  6. MilanoStyle

    MilanoStyle Senior member

    Messages:
    1,674
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2004
    There should not be any risk as long as flirting does not deminish work performance. My advise is don't ask her out on a date. Why not plan something with her? Go bike riding on a sunday afternoon running yogga .. i donno .. or .. you can say that you have this cool event (80s theme party) to go to but you are not so sure what outfit to buy. Tell her to come to mall and pick out an outfit for you. Whatever you do, try not to use word "date" or traditional dinner date.
     
  7. VMan

    VMan Senior member

    Messages:
    5,103
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    Feb 26, 2003
    I made the mistake of sleeping with 4-5 chicks at my last job, and to tell you the truth...while it was fun, it caused quite a bit of drama, and problems for me in the end. Keep your pen out of company ink, for what it's worth.
     
  8. Aristocrat

    Aristocrat Senior member

    Messages:
    289
    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Location:
    Where abstract become reality
    If it's a big salarie say that she could be your "housegirlfriend" when your dating and if it doesn't work between you then you should help her to get a new job.
     
  9. stach

    stach Senior member

    Messages:
    578
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2006
    You live in a town where the typical woman is incredibly beautiful. Yes she's attractive but I think you're going gaga because she's near you. Look out on the street, there's thousands more equally attractive.
     
  10. Spencer Young

    Spencer Young Senior member

    Messages:
    316
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    Feb 26, 2005
    Location:
    Chicago
    Don't flirt on the office IM. Everything can be recorded, and if somehow things were to go downhill quickly it could be a liability.
     
  11. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Canuckistan
    You live in a town where the typical woman is incredibly beautiful. Yes she's attractive but I think you're going gaga because she's near you. Look out on the street, there's thousands more equally attractive.

    Wasn't it Hannibal Lecter that said "we covet what we see every day"? That statement is completely true. I know from personal experience how easy it is to fall in to that trap. I even started messing around with a girl that I wouldn't otherwise have been attracted to. It was a clear case of "when pussy chases us, we can't run that fast." (chris rock said that :p)

    Anyway, you live in sweden dude. There are tons of very pretty girls there. Take a pass on this one and move on to the next. Of course, some people need to be burned before they learn... Actually, I think most of us do. Should you go ahead with it, I can guarantee you that you won't make the same mistake twice.
     
  12. Plasdom

    Plasdom Active Member

    Messages:
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    Jul 11, 2006
    If you are interested in a relationship then go for it. If it is all sex that you want, then I will be hesitant
     
  13. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    Location:
    Pennsylvania Ave/Connecticut Ave
    Wait til the office christmas party to make your move and let it end there but keep flirting so that when both of you are toasted at the party it'll be easier to do your business with little consequence. Or even better, take her out with some of the other bankers for some innocent high roller fun then do your business and forget about it. In other words, keep it strictly as a one night affair and dont give her any illusions about anything developing afterwards
     
  14. Stu

    Stu Senior member

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    Location:
    Princeton
    One problem is what if you get promoted at some point and are her boss? That would be real uncomfortable.
     
  15. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Canuckistan
    If you are interested in a relationship then go for it. If it is all sex that you want, then I will be hesitant

    That's terrible advice. If he got in to a relationship with this girl then it would likely be even worse when it came to an end than if he just banged her once and moved on (assuming she was fine with casual sex). Ask yourself how many relationships end cleanly, and then consider that he'd be forced to see her every day even after it ended. And it would come to an end because realistically, what are the chances of him marrying her?
     
  16. Lucky Strike

    Lucky Strike Senior member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Norway
    Should you go ahead with it, I can guarantee you that you won't make the same mistake twice.
    I made the same mistake twice, the last time with my current girlfriend. (Well, the minute she handed in her resignation, I pounced.) I can't recommend it - it's complicated, and the potential for shit hitting fans is huge, in particular if the thing doesn't work out.
     
  17. WN2

    WN2 Senior member

    Messages:
    309
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    Apr 4, 2006
    Location:
    Helsinki
    Do it. I don't know about the American policies, but I have yet to hear of someone who was fired in Scandinavia because (s)he had an affair with a coworker. Of course things might get awkward if things don't work out but how's that different from what could happen in school or any other organization?
     
  18. rdawson808

    rdawson808 Senior member

    Messages:
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    Feb 22, 2005
    Location:
    The Capital
    Do NOT do it. The shop is too small. Work will become very uncomfortable. Besides, aren't you, in effect at least, her boss? Bad dynamic.

    Who cares about getting fired, what about day-to-day stuff if you guys break-up?


    b
     
  19. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

    Messages:
    2,581
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    Mar 11, 2006
    Do it. I don't know about the American policies, but I have yet to hear of someone who was fired in Scandinavia because (s)he had an affair with a coworker. Of course things might get awkward if things don't work out but how's that different from what could happen in school or any other organization?

    Because in a work situation, it's much easier for her to claim (or maybe really perceive) that you exerted undue influence on her because you were an important rising executive and she was a poor widdle lowly receptionist who felt she had to surrender to your charms in order to save her job and be able to afford to take care of her elderly parents.

    It's generally a bad idea to casually date someone from work, but if you must, at least make it a peer.

    [​IMG]
     
  20. WN2

    WN2 Senior member

    Messages:
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    Apr 4, 2006
    Location:
    Helsinki
    Because in a work situation, it's much easier for her to claim (or maybe really perceive) that you exerted undue influence on her because you were an important rising executive and she was a poor widdle lowly receptionist who felt she had to surrender to your charms in order to save her job and be able to afford to take care of her elderly parents.

    It's generally a bad idea to casually date someone from work, but if you must, at least make it a peer.
    [​IMG]


    OK, might be so in the States, I've read some stories. I honestly can't see this happening over here. Of course she could claim whatever she wants, but you don't have to be afraid of any legal issues. Unless you do harass her, that is.
     

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