need some real friends

[globetrotter]

went out with some guys from synagogue last night for a beer. extremly boring. basically, all they wanted to talk about was synagogue, and green dreams they had - one wants to build a house out of used shipping containers, one wants to start an urban farm, etc. I felt like screaming.

been in chicago 2.5 years, really only have one friend here. next attempt will be to invite some of the fathers from my sons class, see if any of them are cool.

I went out a while back with some of the cops/firemen from my boxing gym - not as interesting as one might hope, and I am guessing that I wasn't as interesting to them. hate just hanging with people from work.

need some friends - where do you guys find your friends?

 

[dfagdfsh]

Cruising the docks

 

[RJman]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

need some friends - where do you guys find your friends?

All I have are my imaginary e-friends like Manton.

 

[Nouveau Pauvre]

I hang out with Teger sometimes so obviously I am not one to ask...

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

went out with some guys from synagogue last night for a beer. extremly boring. basically, all they wanted to talk about was synagogue, and green dreams they had - one wants to build a house out of used shipping containers, one wants to start an urban farm, etc. I felt like screaming.

been in chicago 2.5 years, really only have one friend here. next attempt will be to invite some of the fathers from my sons class, see if any of them are cool.

I went out a while back with some of the cops/firemen from my boxing gym - not as interesting as one might hope, and I am guessing that I wasn't as interesting to them. hate just hanging with people from work.

need some friends - where do you guys find your friends?

I dunno all the places you named sorta sounded good to encounter new people. Do you have a hobby that's not about your community (I think you go to the synagogue for the cultural content and to expose your childrento their own traditions, right?) or a physical activity, if it's some sort of intellectual pursuit chances are you'll meet more like-minded people.

Without going into details what's wrong with the green dream people and the boxers? Too narrow in their interests? What do you wanna do/talk about?

Without going into clichÃ

s the Jewish cultural networks are good in many cities (not sure about Chicago), many give to the arts and you could go to those type of events.

 

[Fuuma]

Fathers of other kids your age could be good if you wanna include the kids in some activities as they live the same realities as you have to cope with. Not sure that's the kind of friendship you're going for.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Without going into details what's wrong with the green dream people and the boxers? Too narrow in their interests? What do you wanna do/talk about?


I guess simply not something that gets me excited - I found the conversation boring. I guess I would have been happier with a more hedionistic conversation, if that makes sense. guys drinking amstel light talking about making the world a better place doens't do it for me.

in general, really nothing wrong with any of these guys, all nice guys, just didn't find them interesting enough to drink with them, I guess.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Fathers of other kids your age could be good if you wanna include the kids in some activities as they live the same realities as you have to cope with. Not sure that's the kind of friendship you're going for.

I think that that will be what I try next - some of the fathers in my sons class are pretty interesting - a major newspaper reporter, a prof of spanish lit, an immigrant builder who has lived in a few countries and whose wife is a food importer. they might just be a more interesting group. and, we have a major element of our life in common. we'll see how it goes.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

(...)in general, really nothing wrong with any of these guys, all nice guys, just didn't find them interesting enough to drink with them, I guess.

^^^ now you see why I drink alone. and post to DT's

 

[Thomas]

FWIW, our RL friends are former neighbors, people we met in school, people through work. Just people we find sympatico.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I think that that will be what I try next - some of the fathers in my sons class are pretty interesting - a major newspaper reporter, a prof of spanish lit, an immigrant builder who has lived in a few countries and whose wife is a food importer. they might just be a more interesting group. and, we have a major element of our life in common. we'll see how it goes.

Well if you want to go by shared experiences I don't think you can do better than "successful" immigrants to the states with a child around the same age as yours. The problem is that men usually get more guarded as they get older so it's sorta hard to breach the initial wall and have a "true" connection. They keep their old friendships alive and sorta connect by reminiscing about their shared teen yrs which can be tiring.

 

[jpeirpont]

Is it possible to make friends past age 25?

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by jpeirpont

Is it possible to make friends past age 25?

Yes, I made plenty past that age...Note that I have a "young" lifestyle so a lot of my newer friends are either younger or have a similarly "young" lifestyle. I can't stand people that stop growing and changing so I ditch them.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by jpeirpont

Is it possible to make friends past age 25?

that's a good question. all of my real friends, aside from my wife, I met before that. but then I mived away. so I am trying to start over.

 

[Dakota rube]

If it's any consolation Zach, I'll be your friend...