Need Help Please: Have to go to "formal" wedding...

[Cubanchem]

but I know it's not really a formal wedding. It's in the late afternoon and I know I am wearing a charcoal grey suit. I want to wear a nice patterned shirt and bow tie, but not really sure I know how to match the two. I don't wear suits often, so while I know what I like, I am not sure if it "goes". Can anyone help me?

Thanks

PS. Will wear dark brown calf Alden bluchers with matching belt and was hoping to coordinate with my wife's gown that is a very dark purple.
PSPS... If you think I am going to look like a clown, please tell me, I can handle the critiques. Thanks!

 

[MrDaniels]

I think you had better be crystal clear as to what your host's definition of "formal" is. If they want black tie and you show up in a grey business suit you will stand out like a douchebag in a men's room. Even if it is not black tie, I am not sure about brown shoes with a grey suit at a forma event that I assume will go well into the evening.

 

[Cubanchem]

When I say formal, it is not black tie at all. This is my brother-in-law and his idea of formal is nice a nice cozy on the can of Busch. They claim it is formal because they are doing it in the early evening, are not allowing kids and are having it at some mansion.

OK, I can go black split two bluchers, but what about shirt and tie combo? I prefer bow tie as I have a long torso and long ties "stretch" me out too much.

 

[MrDaniels]

It would be helpful to see the shirt and tie with the suit.

 

[bigbjorn]

Originally Posted by Cubanchem

When I say formal, it is not black tie at all.
Of course not. Black tie is "semi-formal." Formal would require white tie.

Tough to know how the bow and shirt will match without seeing them. As a general rule, I don't like opposing patterns that are of the same scale, eg 1/2" dots on bowtie and 1/2" checks on shirt.

 

[NukeMeSlowly]

Originally Posted by Cubanchem

When I say formal, it is not black tie at all. This is my brother-in-law and his idea of formal is nice a nice cozy on the can of Busch. They claim it is formal because they are doing it in the early evening, are not allowing kids and are having it at some mansion.

Not to put too fine of a point on this but can you ask your brother in law EXACTLY what he expects his guests to wear to this "formal" event? Ambiguity is not your friend here.

Going off the cuff, I would suggest black shoes, not brown, and that you should wear a necktie and not the bowtie (which I suspect has a printed pattern and will look a bit odd in any event).

 

[JLibourel]

Originally Posted by NukeMeSlowly

Not to put too fine of a point on this but can you ask your brother in law EXACTLY what he expects his guests to wear to this "formal" event? Ambiguity is not your friend here.

Going off the cuff, I would suggest black shoes, not brown, and that you should wear a necktie and not the bowtie (which I suspect has a printed pattern and will look a bit odd in any event).

From the drift of the OP's comments, I would second the above recommendations and also add that I think for a late afternoon/evening event a plain, point-collar white shirt would be preferable to a patterned one. Pair that with a nice, conservative necktie, and the OP should be well turned out. The black split-toe bluchers will be sort of second rate but probably passable if well shined. Few if any people at the wedding are going to be minutely scoping out his shoes anyway.

As to the OP's comment about the bowtie, I think it could be worn in conjunction with the suit if the suit is a three-piece suit and the bowtie is in subdued colors. I am not sure what the OP means when he comments that long ties "stretch" his long torso out. I have a very long torso, and I find when I wear a bowtie without a vest it tends to expose way too much of my shirt and has much more an elongating effect than a necktie.

 

[jjjjeremy]

Honestly, nobody is going to be looking at you. The day isn't about you, and you shouldn't worry about what you are wearing. If it's a hot, sunny climate, I would go with a grey or light brown suit. Patterned shirt and bowtie sound too flashy. You don't want to look like the idiot who showed up at his sister's wedding with posies on his chest. With the charcoal suit, I would wear black shoes, belt, and tie, with a white shirt. If everyone else is wearing shorts and sandals, that's their problem.

It's a wedding. Choose conservatively. Don't dress yourself down for them, especially if you are going to be in pictures with people in the wedding party.