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N00b Question: How do you cope with people who are uncomfortable with your being "dressed up" all the time?

king_of_cups

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I feel silly asking this...

I live in the Inland Empire, CA (for those of you not familiar, think of somewhere halfway between LA and Las Vegas), so basically *deep* in suburbs/exurbs. I really feel like "me" in more classic clothes, but it feels like other people around me get noticeably uncomfortable when I show up anywhere in anything beyond polo shirt/chinos/untucked OCBD/etc.-type outfits. I don't care that people don't dress like me, I just want to feel good in what I'm wearing; but, I find myself buying clothes that make me happy and socking them away in my closet for events/situations that never come, because dressing anything besides ultra-casually is frowned upon.

I know that being dressed well doesn't necessarily mean being dressed up all the time, but dressed appropriately for situations. But what if nobody else around you *ever* dresses up, and worse, they're uncomfortable (and in some cases, insulted) with you dressing how you want? Is this something others here run into, and if so, how do/did you deal?
 

Piobaire

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mhip

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I feel silly asking this...

I live in the Inland Empire, CA (for those of you not familiar, think of somewhere halfway between LA and Las Vegas), so basically *deep* in suburbs/exurbs. I really feel like "me" in more classic clothes, but it feels like other people around me get noticeably uncomfortable when I show up anywhere in anything beyond polo shirt/chinos/untucked OCBD/etc.-type outfits. I don't care that people don't dress like me, I just want to feel good in what I'm wearing; but, I find myself buying clothes that make me happy and socking them away in my closet for events/situations that never come, because dressing anything besides ultra-casually is frowned upon.

I know that being dressed well doesn't necessarily mean being dressed up all the time, but dressed appropriately for situations. But what if nobody else around you *ever* dresses up, and worse, they're uncomfortable (and in some cases, insulted) with you dressing how you want? Is this something others here run into, and if so, how do/did you deal?
I'm in Orange County so I know of this Inland Empire of which you speak.
I can't see that area EVER turning around. So my advice would be to cultivate some friends/hobbies more coastal so you can spend time there on occasion, or schedule some frequent 3 day weekends dressing to the nines in Vegas.
When I was younger, my best friend lived in god awful Rancho Cucamonga.
Almost every Friday night, I'd pick him up on the way and we'd be in Vegas by midnight.
 

king_of_cups

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I'm in Orange County so I know of this Inland Empire of which you speak.
I can't see that area EVER turning around. So my advice would be to cultivate some friends/hobbies more coastal so you can spend time there on occasion, or schedule some frequent 3 day weekends dressing to the nines in Vegas.
When I was younger, my best friend lived in god awful Rancho Cucamonga.
Almost every Friday night, I'd pick him up on the way and we'd be in Vegas by midnight.
lol yeah, I'm in Redlands, even further from LA than Rancho! I'm holding out hope that Palm Springs will be something of a style oasis, but I haven't been able to get out there in the evenings for a non-Tiki-bar situation in a while. PS doesn't live up to its own hype, IMO. I should try Vegas, but it's a haul! Can you recommend any OC places for quiet, stylish drinks?
 

mhip

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lol yeah, I'm in Redlands, even further from LA than Rancho! I'm holding out hope that Palm Springs will be something of a style oasis, but I haven't been able to get out there in the evenings for a non-Tiki-bar situation in a while. PS doesn't live up to its own hype, IMO. I should try Vegas, but it's a haul! Can you recommend any OC places for quiet, stylish drinks?
Plenty down in Newport and Laguna.
They constantly seem to churn and all my old favorites are gone.
In Newport, I like The Winery. They have an add on section for cigar smokers right on the water.
If you want a OC Cliché annoying rich person pick up spot, there's Javier's, and Mastros Ocean Club is in the same parking lot.
I live 5 seconds from South Coast Plaza and there are many options here.
Knife Pleat is high end with great drinks. They make to go cocktails as well so you can drink while you shop.
Anqi I like for happy hour. Asian/red decor/velvet type place with a decent cocktail selection and great food.
The Water Grill, Vaca, Capital Grille etc.
 

mensimageconsultant

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There is a concept of levels of formality. The higher the number, the more formal. Dressing one or more levels above often will produce discomfort. Therefore, try to not quite do a full level of extra formality. For example, limit the excess to moderate dressiness in one or two items. Picture a purple-striped dress shirt instead of a polo shirt and Rockports like these (blucher, nubuck upper, contrasting sole that's not very rubbery) Rockport Big Bucks Margin | Zappos.com instead of, say, Van's.
 

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