My mom passed...please read

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by gabby11303, Feb 3, 2009.

  1. why

    why Senior member

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    I never understood how people could 'attempt' suicide. The people that really want to do it always end up doing it. One guy I knew put a painter's tarp all over his apartment to keep things nice and neat and shot himself with a shotgun. I also don't understand all the 'my thoughts and prayers are with you' tripe that people say over and over again. It's so unfeeling. When people say that to me I'm as polite as possible but if people truly don't care much they shouldn't pretend that they do. I'd be surprised if anyone here never lost a friend. Personally I try to keep the pity party as short as possible. As much as I have an idealistic aversion to quotations, whenever this subject comes up I have to quote Emerson's metaphysical meditations on death: We are associated in adolescent and adult life with some friends, who, like skies and waters, are coextensive with our idea; who, answering each to a certain affection of the soul, satisfy our desire on that side; whom we lack power to put at such focal distance from us, that we can mend or even analyze them. We cannot choose but love them. When much intercourse with a friend has supplied us with a standard of excellence, and has increased our respect for the resources of God who thus sends a real person to outgo our ideal; when he has, moreover, become an object of thought, and, whilst his character retains all its unconscious effect, is converted in the mind into solid and sweet wisdom, — it is a sign to us that his office is closing, and he is commonly withdrawn from our sight in a short time.
     


  2. Girardian

    Girardian Senior member

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    First and foremost, my condolances. Second, thank you for the bravery to share this story. Third, if (as it sounds) you're one who is inclined to look after and support others, be mindful in this process of accepting any support you yourself need.

    A good friend of mine went through the same general situation last year. Later he developed anxiety and a heart murmur, which was misdiagnosed as a coronary condition. Eventually, he was correctly diagnosed with PTSD. This was surprising and unexpected, and a testament to the impression this event left on him.

    Death is impactful, and particularly so under certain conditions or at certain times in our lives. It is no weakness to feel this impact; indeed the strength of our feelings are often a sign of the depth of our love for the person who has died. But these feelings can become overwhelming and that's when it's important to share (as you have here), to accept, and to allow yourself to be supported when needed.
     


  3. romafan

    romafan Senior member

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    ding, ding, ding. nice post, and on so many levels....

    I never understood how people could 'attempt' suicide. The people that really want to do it always end up doing it. One guy I knew put a painter's tarp all over his apartment to keep things nice and neat and shot himself with a shotgun.

    I also don't understand all the 'my thoughts and prayers are with you' tripe that people say over and over again. It's so unfeeling. When people say that to me I'm as polite as possible but if people truly don't care much they shouldn't pretend that they do.

    I'd be surprised if anyone here never lost a friend. Personally I try to keep the pity party as short as possible.

    As much as I have an idealistic aversion to quotations, whenever this subject comes up I have to quote Emerson's metaphysical meditations on death:

    We are associated in adolescent and adult life with some friends, who, like skies and waters, are coextensive with our idea; who, answering each to a certain affection of the soul, satisfy our desire on that side; whom we lack power to put at such focal distance from us, that we can mend or even analyze them. We cannot choose but love them. When much intercourse with a friend has supplied us with a standard of excellence, and has increased our respect for the resources of God who thus sends a real person to outgo our ideal; when he has, moreover, become an object of thought, and, whilst his character retains all its unconscious effect, is converted in the mind into solid and sweet wisdom, "” it is a sign to us that his office is closing, and he is commonly withdrawn from our sight in a short time.
     


  4. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

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    Sorry to hear this. My dad expired in the spring and it actually had little effect on me, but I think I will feel very lonely when my mother goes. Also this is sobering to read as my mother has never had what I would call optimal mental health (sort of mal-adjusted, depressive type always laden with a general malaise) and she seems to be worse lately (especially after my father's death, which I find kind of odd considering that they had been divorced for twenty some years).
     


  5. Eason

    Eason Bicurious Racist

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    Sorry to hear about your loss, I hope things return to normal in your life.
     


  6. JetBlast

    JetBlast Senior member

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    I never understood how people could 'attempt' suicide. The people that really want to do it always end up doing it. One guy I knew put a painter's tarp all over his apartment to keep things nice and neat and shot himself with a shotgun.


    Not everyone shoots themselves, I didn't want to use any of my dad's guns because I didn't want him to think badly the next time he used it. I used pills instead, eventually lost consciousness, and wound up in hospital when someone found me. So no, it doesn't always work, unfortunately. Usually those who want to go would rather just go than survive to think about it.
     


  7. Bhowie

    Bhowie Senior member

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    I never understood how people could 'attempt' suicide. The people that really want to do it always end up doing it. One guy I knew put a painter's tarp all over his apartment to keep things nice and neat and shot himself with a shotgun.

    I also don't understand all the 'my thoughts and prayers are with you' tripe that people say over and over again. It's so unfeeling. When people say that to me I'm as polite as possible but if people truly don't care much they shouldn't pretend that they do.

    I'd be surprised if anyone here never lost a friend. Personally I try to keep the pity party as short as possible.

    As much as I have an idealistic aversion to quotations, whenever this subject comes up I have to quote Emerson's metaphysical meditations on death:

    We are associated in adolescent and adult life with some friends, who, like skies and waters, are coextensive with our idea; who, answering each to a certain affection of the soul, satisfy our desire on that side; whom we lack power to put at such focal distance from us, that we can mend or even analyze them. We cannot choose but love them. When much intercourse with a friend has supplied us with a standard of excellence, and has increased our respect for the resources of God who thus sends a real person to outgo our ideal; when he has, moreover, become an object of thought, and, whilst his character retains all its unconscious effect, is converted in the mind into solid and sweet wisdom, "” it is a sign to us that his office is closing, and he is commonly withdrawn from our sight in a short time.


    Wow. Dick much?
     


  8. sloane3

    sloane3 Senior member

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    Who's going to post the Colin Powell pic.
     


  9. SkinnyGoomba

    SkinnyGoomba Senior member

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    Who's going to post the Colin Powell pic.

    it would be nice if you guys could save the snark for another post.

    Gabby,
    I wish you the best, and hope you guys recover. Your mom will be missed, but as time passes you will remember all the good things and forget the bad.

    You will never forget her, my best friend passed, coming up on 2 years, not a day goes by that i dont think of him.
     


  10. taxgenius

    taxgenius Senior member

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    Not everyone shoots themselves, I didn't want to use any of my dad's guns because I didn't want him to think badly the next time he used it. I used pills instead, eventually lost consciousness, and wound up in hospital when someone found me. So no, it doesn't always work, unfortunately. Usually those who want to go would rather just go than survive to think about it.

    My heart goes out to you. [​IMG]
     


  11. Teger

    Teger Senior member

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    Hey why shut the fuck up, thanks. Most people who try to kill themselves aren't in a right state of mind and aren't carefully thinking everything out. I'm really sorry to hear this and I wish the best for you and yuor family [​IMG]. This is a topic that strikes close to home, as my mom was recently diagnosed as a schizophrenic with bipolar tendencies. I hope that your story inspires people to take mental illnesses as seriously as they deserve to be (not saying you didn't.. sounds like you guys did everything you could). Good luck.
     


  12. fcuknu

    fcuknu Senior member

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    My condolences, this made me tear up a bit.
     


  13. why

    why Senior member

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    Not everyone shoots themselves, I didn't want to use any of my dad's guns because I didn't want him to think badly the next time he used it. I used pills instead, eventually lost consciousness, and wound up in hospital when someone found me. So no, it doesn't always work, unfortunately. Usually those who want to go would rather just go than survive to think about it.
    You're young and I don't want to get into this discussion much more than I already have, but there's a difference between real suicide and cries for help. There's no good way to argue this point any further since you have the trump card of innocence and pity on your side.
    Wow. Dick much?
    If you think I'm just being a dick then you're just being an ignoramous. Death rituals vary around the world.
    Hey why shut the fuck up, thanks. Most people who try to kill themselves aren't in a right state of mind and aren't carefully thinking everything out.
    Being suicidal doesn't make the person intellectually retarded.
     


  14. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Senior member

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    Jesus, man.
     


  15. JetBlast

    JetBlast Senior member

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    You're young and I don't want to get into this discussion much more than I already have, but there's a difference between real suicide and cries for help.

    There's no good way to argue this point any further since you have the trump card of innocence and pity on your side.


    Go ahead and argue it. I'm not sure what you consider "real suicide" to be. What would you consider fake suicide?

    Being suicidal doesn't decrease intelligence.
    Maybe not, but the person with the suicidal tendencies is in an altered state of mind (at least I was).

    Edit- I see you changed "decrease intelligence" to "intellectually retarded". Smooth.
     


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