My brother's friend is working as a recruiter in finding a new PA for Jet Li to assist him with charity work and help him on-sets. I figured I might as well try, right? "Dear Mr. xxxx, I am writing to inform you of my availability to fill the position of Jet Li's personal assistant. This is quite good news for Mr. Li, because there are not many people in China with my experience and capabilities: - I have excellent interpersonal communication skills, fluent in Mandarin Chinese - I am personable and good at getting-along with all kinds of people. This is especially important for Jet Li, who hasn't smiled since the 12th scene of "Once Upon a Time in China" when he meets that one girl. - With my dynamic skills and diligent work ethic, I get things done quickly. This is demonstrated by my succint cover letter, as opposed to the many other cover letters you didn't have time to read. - At the end of my work contract, I will betray Mr. Li and fight him to the death in a Japanese temple. His soft Wu Shu will be no match for my hard Karate style. Thank you for your consideration, I can be reached at this email address xxxxxxxxxx or by phone at xxxxxxxx Sincerely, xxxxxxxx"