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Mistaken Identity

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Nosu3, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. Nosu3

    Nosu3 Senior member

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    There were many pineapples in the bin, but I had to find the ripest of them all. The third one I pick is golden on the bottom half and greenish-brown on the top. That was it, the pineapple I had spent the last twenty seconds looking for. I lift the pineapple to my face, I begin to smell the sweet aroma from the bottom. As the pineapple is gently pressed against my face in the grocery market, I hear someone approach. "Yo, you have oysters?", he says. I was startled that someone had taken notice of me. "No, I have pineapples", I reply. He is left with a confused look on his face, but continues to ask "so you don't work here?" I immediately turn my back to him and quickly walk away with the pineapple and potatoes in hand.

    It wasn't the first time I was mistaken for an employee or manager. It happens sometimes.

    What is your story?
     
  2. whiteslashasian

    whiteslashasian Senior member

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  3. ama

    ama Senior member

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    Is it possible that you were drinking in the bathroom before you got to the pineapples and imagined this?
     
  4. gomestar

    gomestar Senior member

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  5. Piobaire

    Piobaire Senior member

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    Are oysters of good class?
     
  6. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    maybe what the guy meant by "you have oysters" is if you can give him a pearl necklace, yes?
     
  7. celery

    celery Senior member

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    Oysters are people too. And maybe pineapples.
     
  8. level32

    level32 Senior member

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    Perhaps you might consider shopping without an apron and nametag on next time.
     
  9. Mark from Plano

    Mark from Plano Senior member

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    Are "pineapples" and "oysters" some kind of code words in this story?
     
  10. Douglas

    Douglas Senior member

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    I was at a bar called "Little Hanoi," noticed the male-female ratio was a little wonky but still met this little asian cutie, more flat-chested than I normally go for but skinny and wearing almost nothing and totally ready to roll. Took her into the men's room and bent her over the toilet. Couldn't see much but totally nailed that ass. I finished up and she turned around and I noticed all of a sudden "she" had a little boaner popping out. It was tough to hear over the thumping Gaga playing but I think she was angry and said something like "no reach-round huh sailor?" I was like, "What do you think I'm some kind of faggot?"

    For some reason people in bathrooms keep thinking I'm a homo (no homo).
     
  11. ErnestoG.

    ErnestoG. Senior member

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    that was a mating call. he wants you.
     
  12. Egert

    Egert Senior member

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    I usually take the more agressive approach and question various people about the location of tampons. Reaction is usually priceless
     
  13. aphextwin07

    aphextwin07 Senior member

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    haha, that's pretty funny. i've had this happen maybe once or twice when I was re-folding a clothing item before putting it back on the shelf.
     
  14. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff Senior member

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    i play along. i help them especially if it is a lady customer. i ll let them figure it out themselves later and it is all in fun. if it is an old woman she doesnt ever find out but it is ok. i love helping people. i dont turn my back to someone to ignore a question that may just come out of a sincere mistake of identity.
     
  15. Working Stiff

    Working Stiff Senior member

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    I said to him, no oysters. He ask me, snails? I say no. He told me it is just question of taste. I nod, follow him into restroom. Afterwards he asks me, have you been eating, pineapple?
     
  16. Flieger

    Flieger Senior member

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    Today someone walked past me on the street, took a good look at my Panerai Radiomir and then asked me where he could buy speed.
     
  17. Piobaire

    Piobaire Senior member

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    This actually happened to me once. I stopped off at a Best Buy to buy a piece of computer equipment on the way home from work. I guess, because I had a shirt and tie on, this person assumed I was a manager there. They wanted to rant about something (I was in the computer section, so I'll figure it must have been computer related). I listened to the rant for a few minutes, rather amused, and when she stopped for a breath I said, "You know, I just can't handle this bullshit anymore. I quit!" and walked away. She followed me to the cash register, apologizing the whole time. /javyn
     
  18. LawrenceMD

    LawrenceMD Senior member

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    I got a reach around from a horny cougar anesthesiologist during a surgery.

    It was actually a reach into the back of the gown then around.

    With the surgical gowns, masks, and safety googles I guess we all looked the same.
     

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