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Messed up and slept with a colleague...

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Flambeur, Jan 17, 2010.

  1. TGPlastic

    TGPlastic Senior member

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    This is more than just a minor inconvenience. This could be employment trouble or even legal trouble. If she says "hostile work environment" or similar shit to the right people then you are fucked. My suggestion --seriously-- is to tell her you are embarrassed about what happened and that you are gay. I am not joking here. Gay is the perfect defense to any allegation of sex harassment with a female. You need not actually bugger someone. Simply tell her you are not interested in women.
     
  2. medtech_expat

    medtech_expat Senior member

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    My suggestion --seriously-- is to tell her you are embarrassed about what happened and that you are gay. I am not joking here. Gay is the perfect defense to any allegation of sex harassment with a female.

    I can understand the desire to be proactive and on the defensive - but tell her that he's gay AFTER he banged her and eye-fucked her countless times before and since? Sounds a bit thin to me, and a sure way to piss her off and put her in a vindictive mood.
     
  3. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    So basically she wants it like every day now... Which is great and complicated at the same time.
     
  4. Smudge

    Smudge Senior member

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    I did the same thing back when I was single...wound up marrying the girl and having 2 kids...she's still my wife, and we still work together...let it ride man, you never know, one day you may be kicking yourself for abiding by a rule. Matters of the heart (or dick) have no rules.

    +1. NYR you sound like my best mate. He started seeing a colleague years ago. They really liked each other and ended up getting married and now have 2 kids too. She was headhunted to another company before they had to "out" their relationship to colleagues / management. Funny thing is, a year later he ended up joining the same company as her (we teased him for being a stalker). Ten years later they are still colleagues, still married and now head up separate divisions for a major TV / media conglomerate. Sleeping with a colleague doesn't always mean you've messed up...
     
  5. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    I doubt anything serious will come out of it, but she is definitely fun...
     
  6. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    So basically she wants it like every day now... Which is great and complicated at the same time.

    so what are you doing posting? [​IMG]
     
  7. ninetofivereject

    ninetofivereject Senior member

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    Crap. So I am stuck with this chick for at least a year on a project. I basically spend like 40+ hours a week with her.

    She is really hot, smart, interesting, and super sexual. But I'm a strong believer in "don't shit where you eat" philosophy. Long story short: work party, lots of alcohol, wake up naked in bed together.

    I really don't know how to handle it properly. I actually like her a lot but don't necessarily think it's a good idea to continue.


    fuck,i wish i had your problems.
    9 out of 10 guys on here with wives and kids and mortgages are thinking the same thing lol
     
  8. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    fuck,i wish i had your problems.
    9 out of 10 guys on here with wives and kids and mortgages are thinking the same thing lol


    yeah but I work really hard on NOT having a wife and kids and a mortgage (well that one I do actually)
     
  9. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

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    This actually happened to me once, but I lost interest because she was psycho. It was pretty tough getting rid of her. She acted weird around me in the office. But I don't think she ever blabbed because she wanted to maintain her rep. Also was never on a project team with her. If I was, I'd imagine it would be a very awkward day-to-day situation.

    If anything, I'd clearly lay out the boundaries for the relationship off the bat. Friends first, hook up second. Not exclusive. Not serious. She will likely "agree" to this and still go psycho/possessive on you, but at least you can say you told her. Keep on bringing up how you are afraid of hurting her and all that crap because you are not looking for anything serious. If you keep on reinforcing this the (inevitable) aftermath will be less painful, though not painless.
     
  10. unjung

    unjung Senior member

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    So basically she wants it like every day now... Which is great and complicated at the same time.

    Maybe you should lay out some boundaries, as per Metro. You don't want her going schizo once you actually are in another relationship.
     
  11. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    This actually happened to me once, but I lost interest because she was psycho. It was pretty tough getting rid of her. She acted weird around me in the office. But I don't think she ever blabbed because she wanted to maintain her rep. Also was never on a project team with her. If I was, I'd imagine it would be a very awkward day-to-day situation.

    If anything, I'd clearly lay out the boundaries for the relationship off the bat. Friends first, hook up second. Not exclusive. Not serious. She will likely "agree" to this and still go psycho/possessive on you, but at least you can say you told her. Keep on bringing up how you are afraid of hurting her and all that crap because you are not looking for anything serious. If you keep on reinforcing this the (inevitable) aftermath will be less painful, though not painless.


    Maybe you should lay out some boundaries, as per Metro. You don't want her going schizo once you actually are in another relationship.

    Yeah this is definitely something to consider. She's definitely a bit of a crazy type, which is also what makes her so much fun. Fuck. She just left too..
     
  12. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    So it's been 3 or 4 times now. I'm screwed both figuratively and literally.
     
  13. Mr T

    Mr T Senior member

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    This actually happened to me once, but I lost interest because she was psycho. It was pretty tough getting rid of her. She acted weird around me in the office. But I don't think she ever blabbed because she wanted to maintain her rep. Also was never on a project team with her. If I was, I'd imagine it would be a very awkward day-to-day situation.

    If anything, I'd clearly lay out the boundaries for the relationship off the bat. Friends first, hook up second. Not exclusive. Not serious. She will likely "agree" to this and still go psycho/possessive on you, but at least you can say you told her. Keep on bringing up how you are afraid of hurting her and all that crap because you are not looking for anything serious. If you keep on reinforcing this the (inevitable) aftermath will be less painful, though not painless.



    Working in a family business can be tough.
     
  14. oscarthewild

    oscarthewild Senior member

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    Would the situation be different if the colleague was also male?
    Are there restrictions in companies about that too?
    -
     
  15. mkarim

    mkarim Senior member

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    So it's been 3 or 4 times now.

    Pictures?
     
  16. hboogz

    hboogz Senior member

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    If you think she has the potential to be the "crazy-type" you need to talk and let her know what you want. either she is down for some more or she isn't, either way you can get back to work without any unnecessary tension (assuming there is any)
     
  17. thomazzz

    thomazzz Well-Known Member

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    Jesus, I can't wait for this to blow up.

    Which isn't to say that it won't, I've just never seen nor personally experienced an instance where it didn't eventually.

    But hey dude, enjoy yourself. When looking back on these little adventures you rarely end up regreting them.
     
  18. shawbecca

    shawbecca New Member

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    Feb 3, 2010
    [​IMG] Gentlemen (?): Ya know, I just signed up on this site to get some wedding (NO, not MINE) etiquette info and I have to tell you, I'm trippin'...............I'm a widow (3 1/2 years) and haven't even begun to THINK about dating, so haven't put much thought into all the "trials and tribulations" of the bullshit that goes along with that game. Then, I come into this forum to find a guy who sleeps with a colleague, gets his jollies, is obviously STILL in lust (don't know many men that aren't 24/7) and is now concerned as to what to do about "it". Hmmmmm......let's see.......dontcha think a little honesty would go a very long way here? Now, think about it - you string her along to aid and abet your (what I affectionately call) "Third Leg Syndrome", then one day you decide enough is enough, or perhaps you meet a new little playgirl and no longer have any use for the colleague. Damn! dude! You're in BIG trouble now cuz ya gotta break it off and kick her to the curb ("Gee, sweetie, it's been real - gotta go!). This woman is gonna be pissed! and you know the old adage, "Hell hath no fury blah, blah, blah....."[​IMG] Take it from a woman who's been around the block a few times - tell her what you've told here - you like her, she's hot, wanna "play" but don't wanna "pay". Chances are she's looking for a husband but by being honest, you save a lot of heartache and grief for all concerned. And, ya never know - she just might like the casual set-up and be good with that. But, in the end, you'll respect each other in the morning!!! Good luck with that! Ciao!!!!!
     
  19. spertia

    spertia Senior member

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    Damn, look at Shawbecca breaking it down for you.
     
  20. DNW

    DNW Senior member

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    Damn, look at Shawbecca breaking it down for you.

    +1. Way to make an entrance.
     

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