Messed up and slept with a colleague...

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Flambeur, Jan 17, 2010.

  1. Bill Smith

    Bill Smith Senior member

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    Crap. So I am stuck with this chick for at least a year on a project. I basically spend like 40+ hours a week with her.

    She is really hot, smart, interesting, and super sexual. But I'm a strong believer in "don't shit where you eat" philosophy. Long story short: work party, lots of alcohol, wake up naked in bed together.

    I really don't know how to handle it properly. I actually like her a lot but don't necessarily think it's a good idea to continue.


    Questions:

    1) Are you both single?
    2) Do you report to her?
    3) Does she report to you?

    If you answer no to one and yes to either two or three. I would stop in your tracks, have that conversation, you like her a lot but you want to keep things on a professional level.

    If you answered Yes to one and no to two AND three. I would have that critical think, is this co-worker potential relationship material? Reality is with longer working hours there is a greater chance you will meet your next girlfriend or wife on the job, like it or not.
     


  2. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    The biggest danger is that you continue it and for whatever reason it ends badly and your personal shit gets dragged into the office. Right now it sounds like you could end it and things would go on as normal. If you continue to see her and treat her as a booty call, watch out, even if she seems cool with it at first. And is she a colleague or are you her superior?

    we are absolutely equal, if anything she's competition, and out of a couple dozen people like us, probably my main competition (not direct, but you know)
     


  3. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    Let the thing run its course if you can both be mature about whatever results. If you anticipate a bunny in the pot on the stove kind of ending, I'd have second thoughts.
     


  4. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    Let the thing run its course if you can both be mature about whatever results. If you anticipate a bunny in the pot on the stove kind of ending, I'd have second thoughts.

    Well, she definitely is a hot blooded passionate girl, but she seems smart and logical enough.. for a woman of course.

    We'll see.
     


  5. Unbreakable

    Unbreakable Senior member

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    we are absolutely equal, if anything she's competition, and out of a couple dozen people like us, probably my main competition (not direct, but you know)

    She'll sleep with the competition, just imagine if it were a higher up and a promotion could come from it. [​IMG]

    But on the other hand she could be thinking the same thing you're thinking right now, and is some where on her "styleforum" asking the same thing?
     


  6. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    Let the thing run its course if you can both be mature about whatever results. If you anticipate a bunny in the pot on the stove kind of ending, I'd have second thoughts.
    Can you ever really know how someone will react? If you're in a relatively high-level career, as I get the impression flambeur is, there's just too much to risk for office poon. One way or another, you always end up paying imo. There are just too many ways she could mess with you if things end any way other than on terms she agrees with. I guess most people have to learn the hard way though. I'm glad I learned my lesson in a job I didn't care about. Btw, things can go the other way too... Flambeur says he likes her a lot... Say he totally falls for her but it's not reciprocated. Then he has to see her EVERY SINGLE DAY at work. Not fun, and it could impact his job performance. I say to Flambeur, don't be greedy. You got something for free and it hasn't cost you yet. Walk away now before it does unless you really think she justifies the risk.
     


  7. bawlin

    bawlin Senior member

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    You're a CA, right?
     


  8. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

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    Can you ever really know how someone will react? If you're in a relatively high-level career, as I get the impression flambeur is, there's just too much to risk for office poon. One way or another, you always end up paying imo. There are just too many ways she could mess with you if things end any way other than on terms she agrees with. I guess most people have to learn the hard way though. I'm glad I learned my lesson in a job I didn't care about.

    Btw, things can go the other way too... Flambeur says he likes her a lot... Say he totally falls for her but it's not reciprocated. Then he has to see her EVERY SINGLE DAY at work. Not fun, and it could impact his job performance.

    I say to Flambeur, don't be greedy. You got something for free and it hasn't cost you yet. Walk away now before it does unless you really think she justifies the risk.


    This is good, thanks. The easy way out would be to say that I would stay away, but realistically.. Hmm..

    You're a CA, right?

    If by CA you mean Chartered Accountant, then no.
     


  9. dragon8

    dragon8 Senior member

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    Two words to consider-Sexual Harrassment
     


  10. Piobaire

    Piobaire Not left of center?

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    Pretend it never happened.
     


  11. JayJay

    JayJay Senior member

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    Pretend it never happened.
    This. I'd return to business as usual, seriously.
     


  12. rjacobs

    rjacobs Senior member

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    You are like the 1,000,000,001st person in the world to do this. It's not that big a deal, just slightly more messy/fun than any other underthought fling, and you can probably treat it as such.
     


  13. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    Pretend it never happened.

    x2.
     


  14. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    Keep banging her!
    Done...
     


  15. willpower

    willpower Senior member

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    You can have that hilariously trite "talk"


    "Hey look....the other night was....amazing....but....we can't do that again. I mean... after all, we're colleagues and...well...it just wouldn't be right or professional or..."

    Cut to scene - Both in same bed, smoking

    [​IMG]
     


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