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MEGA-Douche Roommate

gam29

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So here's my situation:

One of my best friends from high school asked me if I wanted to live with him since he got a job after graduating very nearby to the city where I've been living and working for the past couple of years.

At first, this seemed like a good idea. I could save money on rent, and I figured he and I would get along just fine. I told him I needed to think about it.

Before agreeing to anything or signing any paperwork, I told him that I am a very clean person and that I expect the same of him. He insisted that he is very clean and doesn't make a mess. I believed him because I'd been to his home many times throughout high school, and it was always pretty clean. I also told him that I need to have my girlfriend stay with me for at least the summer and possibly the fall. I explained that I told her not to register to live in the dormitory because she could just stay with me (not knowing that he would be in the picture), and that it was too late for her to get into the dorm as she missed the deadline. She (and her parents) do not have the income or the credit to get a place for her to live on her own. He said okay but expressed concern that my girlfriend would "change the tone" of living in the apartment. I also explained to him that my current lease wasn't up until the end of July, and that I would need to wait until my current lease is up to avoid paying double rent.

He indicated to me that he needed a place to stay while searching for an apartment. As any good friend would do, I offered to let him stay at my place. At the time, I was traveling 4 days a week, so it didn't make much of a difference to me anyway. I even offered to let him stay for free since I would have had to pay rent until the lease was up anyway.

This will serve as the background for the series of posts to follow. IMO, his laziness, immaturity and douchebaggery is over the top and bringing down my quality of life, and I would love to hear the opinions of others to see if I'm overreacting or if my problems with this situation are valid. I will create an index to make it easy to navigate between various things as well.

Table of Contents:

#1 CLEANLINESS: PART 1
#2 THE APT HUNT
#3 CLEANLINESS: PART 2
#4 DECIDING ON A FLOOR PLAN
 

gam29

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#1 CLEANLINESS: PART 1

While staying at my apartment, I let him use all of my stuff, including electronics (TV, video games, movies, etc), kitchen stuff (pots, pans, cups, plates, etc), etc, except for my personal stuff like my clothes, toiletries, etc. I remember coming back one day from work (traveling) and the sink was full to the brim with dirty pots, pans, plates, knives, etc. I was most pissed about the knives he had left sitting in with the mess he left in the sink since they were from a Wusthof knife set I had recently purchased. I asked him politely to please clean out the sink because a) I would like to be able to use sink and I can't when it's full of dirty dishes, and b) he should treat my belongings respectfully as if they were his own and not abuse them. In response to this, he got extremely defensive and told me he was too busy at work and that he didn't have time. Meanwhile, whenever I saw him on Thursday night after he got home from work, he had plenty of time to flop on my couch and watch stupid Youtube videos on my TV, so how he didn't have 5 minutes to wash his dirty dishes is beyond me. I even had a dishwasher at my place, so he wouldn't have really do a good job washing them at that. In any case, I figured he's been a good friend for a long time, so I'll let it slide.

I should also note that while he stayed at my place for the 1.5 months that he was there, he did not once do any general cleaning (i.e. vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, etc) or offer to help me with it.

This doesn't sound like someone who claims to be a "clean person".
 

Harold falcon

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I like where this is going. Love the table of contents idea, please continue.
 

KPO89

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Good friends typically don't make good roommates. To much expectations. I experienced this. We aren't friends anymore.
 

whiteslashasian

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Originally Posted by Phiberglass
Having the girlfriend living in with you guys sounds much worse than his cleanliness problems, that's not going to work out. If he continues just ask him to either clean the dishes more often or stop using your stuff.

Paper plates and plastic cups are another alternative. Tell him to use them instead of your stuff. Problem solved.
 

tomgirl

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Originally Posted by whiteslashasian
Paper plates and plastic cups are another alternative. Tell him to use them instead of your stuff. Problem solved.

Omg but that wouldn't be GREEN!!!
 

gam29

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Originally Posted by Phiberglass
Having the girlfriend living in with you guys sounds much worse than his cleanliness problems, that's not going to work out. If he continues just ask him to either clean the dishes more often or stop using your stuff.

While I was in college, she would visit pretty much every weekend and stay 3 nights. I had 3 other roommates then and it was never a problem. Everyone got along fine, and she had no problem dealing with the typical weekend debauchery that took place, but regardless, I told him my circumstances up front. If he had a problem with it, he shouldn't have still signed for a place with me.

I may be jumping the gun a bit here, but his gf is living at our place now as well...more to come this afternoon.
 

Butter

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You need to put your foot down on the situation. You are the man of the house.

You need to make him do the cleaning work WITH you. Tell him that's how he is paying for rent or he can sleep on the streets.

That being said, this guy is a lost cause for hygiene. Cut your losses and get rid of him asap.
 

indesertum

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did you already sign something? if not tell him honestly that he's a good friend, but that you dont want to live with him

i hate roommates. the only real experience i had with a roommate is my younger brother. every time he comes over the apartment goes to shit. although i've made him laundry and dishes a few times he never does it until he is forced to by the sink or by me.

apartment is a total mess right now. really dislike
 

gam29

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^^enjoy the entertainment...trust me, it gets a lot better, things are just warming up

^ yes, i have been living with him for 3 months already...there are plenty more stories to come.
 

deadly7

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[This post is predicated on the fact that I think you said you aren't signing a lease together] And why exactly aren't you kicking him out? Grow a pair.
 

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