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Meeting girls

8-Ball

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I just turned 25 and have been focusing on my career as a financial analyst for the last few years. Lately I've become pretty lonely in my spare time and miss the company of having a GF but I don't even know where to begin meeting girls again. I've had a few GFs in the past but they were all people I met through school or through friends of mine from school. I've pretty much lost touch with all my old friends. Any suggestions? I'm not into the whole dance club scene, BTW.
 

MetroStyles

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What do you do on weekends? Do you have drinking buddies? Do you have any female friends? What is (or isn't) your social life situation?

Depending on the answers to those questions, what you should do could be any of a number of different things.
 

likeitaloud

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Don't go to online dating sites...

I guess I'll give you the advice that someone gave me when I was 17 because really there is nothing different. Bars, clubs, book clubs, discussion groups, pool halls, gym, etc. The best place for you will probably be based on your personality, if you are not into the club scene maybe try sports/discussion groups? For the least you'll make a lot of new friend who might eventually lead you to a girl you like.
 

longskate88

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I'll second GO to an online dating site, but not one you have to pay for. PM me if interested. It's losing it's stigma, and there can be good people there, though the good ones are especially hard to get noticed by. A friend of mine is on one, and since she's hot, she gets a TON of e-mails daily.

I met the current GF on the one I would use, it's nice because you can literally pick exactly what you want in a person, as far as ethnicity, religion, hobbies, etc.

Of course, online can only supplement the real world, do both and you'll get the best results.
 

Joffrey

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I'm sorry but at the age of 25, online dating sites should not be an option. Do you have friends? Do you guys go out? IF yes, two both questions you should be able to meet girls through those options. Even if they aren't perfect they will at least give you the opportunity to get back in the swing of things.
 

busyguy7447

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Well, as someone who has had a very wonderful experience being married for seven years now to a successful, beautiful woman I met on a paid dating site, I can tell you why it worked for me:

1. I was slightly above your age and was very focused on my career as well. I was never into the bar scene and didn't have many friends outside of work.

2. I was looking for someone with fairly specific emotional and intellectual capacities. There was no way I was going to find this person as of the several very attractive women I met, they, like me, were not predisposed to meeting men in the traditional venues and did not use these venues as ways of meeting men. Bottom line: You need to determine what sort of person you're looking for.

3. I had dated women I met at church, at school, in restaurants, at the park etc. etc. etc. and invariably I would find out something that was a deal-breaker to a relationship over the course of several weeks or months, leaving me back in the same frustrated spot I was at the beginning. With the women I met online, it was pretty easy to figure out the problem children early on. There's something about using your brain in the courtship process that separates the Michael Jordans from the Eddie Jordans.

4. A well thought-out profile can greatly increase your chances of success. Listing things that are important to you (e.g. I ride a Harley and definitely wanted a riding partner) and things that she needs to know (e.g. I have two dogs and they are indoor dogs) will eliminate those who you might otherwise start down the road with but ultimately develop significant differences with.

Overall I think getting out and about is extremely important. I learned how to swing dance at a dance club and that was hugely helpful in meeting women both at the club and outside. If you live in a large city there are wine bars that offer tastings and those are really popular with the ladies. Overall though, depending on your goals and attitude, dating sites can be a useful and proactive way of quickly increasing the number of women you meet.
 

mkarim

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Originally Posted by 8-Ball
I just turned 25 and have been focusing on my career as a financial analyst for the last few years. Lately I've become pretty lonely in my spare time and miss the company of having a GF but I don't even know where to begin meeting girls again. I've had a few GFs in the past but they were all people I met through school or through friends of mine from school. I've pretty much lost touch with all my old friends. Any suggestions? I'm not into the whole dance club scene, BTW.

Learning salsa dancing is a GREAT way to meet women. They LOVE guys who can reasonably dance.

Aside from that, figure out what type of women you want to meet. If you want to meet intellectual women, go to book reading events or join book reading clubs. If you want classy women, attend wine tasting events or classes. You get the idea. You have to figure out what tye of women YOU want to meet first.
 

8-Ball

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Originally Posted by Jodum5
I'm sorry but at the age of 25, online dating sites should not be an option. Do you have friends? Do you guys go out? IF yes, two both questions you should be able to meet girls through those options. Even if they aren't perfect they will at least give you the opportunity to get back in the swing of things.
Yes, I have friends and go out on average of 2X a week I'd say. I have one friend who was great at talking to girls and he'd always do the legwork, but ever since he got involved in a serious relationship he doesn't approach the girls any more.

My main problem is that I really don't know how to talk to girls, but it's a little more than that. I don't really have anything in common with most of them and can't relate. Aside from finding a girl that is really into sex, I just don't feel like I bring much to the table for them. Again, it's a little more complex than that but hopefully that puts things into perspective a little bit. And I'm not (necessarily) looking to just go out and use women for sex. I've been really happy before in relationships but after a period of time my GF and I will find ourselves feeling distant from each other once the initial sex appeal wears off.
 

mkarim

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Originally Posted by 8-Ball
I don't really have anything in common with most of them and can't relate. Aside from finding a girl that is really into sex, I just don't feel like I bring much to the table for them.
That sounds like a lack of self-confidence.
 

busyguy7447

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You may also want to look at some of the social networking sites. I know yelp.com maintains a pretty active social calendar, at least here in Houston.
 

8-Ball

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Originally Posted by mkarim
That's a lack of self-confidence.
I don't know man, I don't mean it in such a negative way. I'm decent looking, intelligent, classy, and make good money so in a lot of ways I bring more to the table than most guys, it's just more on a superficial level.
 

busyguy7447

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Originally Posted by 8-Ball
I don't know man, I don't mean it in such a negative way. I'm decent looking, intelligent, classy, and make good money so in a lot of ways I bring more to the table than most guys, it's just more on a superficial level.

Therein lies your issue. Meeting "on the street" almost mandatorily implies that the first interactions are going to be based on something less than permanent or something less than one's true essence.
 

why

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This thread makes me cry.
 

haganah

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Originally Posted by why
This thread makes me cry.

I get mildly amused and then I get angry. It's emotional.
 

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