Matching Outfits, Bad Idea?

[Always Suited]

My partner and I have been together for about 5 months. Slowly he has been altering my wardrobe to his style. I used to wear spread collar shirts with full windsor knots. He bought me some pin collar shirts (the type with the pin right through holes in the collar with knobs on the end), I thought they were ok and wore them to please him. Now that is all I wear. He even packed away all my spread collar shirts and bought me a couple of dozen of the pin type. He usually lays out my clothes and I go along with it. The problem is for christmas he bought us matching suits/ties cufflinks etc and matching tuxedos. He wants us to wear the suits when we go out to dinner this weekend and the tuxedos to the New Years Eve party we are attending (most people will be in suits). I am not comfortable dressing like twins. Opinions?

 

[marc237]

I am of the view that one of the nice things about being an adult is that one can work to minimize the amount of times one feels uncomfortable. Irrespective of the opinion of myself (matching outfits = stupid idea) or anyone else on the forum (matching outfits = stupid idea in all likelihood), if it makes you uncomfortable, do not do it. On the other hand, if it makes you happy, go for it and wear it with joy.

On a side note, you might want to avoid having anyone (not your valet) lay out your clothing everyday.

 

[folby]

While Marc's "don't do it if you don't want to" point is valid, in a relationship sometimes other concerns must be weighed. You have to make your own decision here, but I would caution you to attempt to determine just how important these matching outfits are to your partner, then compare that to just how uncomfortable you feel. Sometimes a sacrifice is required.

That said, lord knows there are ways to coordinate your outfits without both of you wearing the same thing.

 

[haganah]

It's amazing that you boobs think this is for real

 

[warlok1965]

Abysmally bad idea unless you two are headlining a magic/wild animal show in Las Vegas or really enjoy cruel laughter from others.

Makes me think of this gem: http://teamsugar.com/group/46813/blog/771943

A couple of choice selections from the Catalog:

 

[marc237]

Originally Posted by haganah

It's amazing that you boobs think this is for real

I have no idea whether it is for real. I generally give the benefit of the doubt in life. I do know men and women who, sadly, do allow their significant others to dominate their fashion choices. Matching outfits at a New Year's party is not beyond the pale of bad choices people make.

More to the point, I also have more class than to go on a forum and ridicule others for trying to offer advice.

 

[Always Suited]

Originally Posted by folby

While Marc's "don't do it if you don't want to" point is valid, in a relationship sometimes other concerns must be weighed. You have to make your own decision here, but I would caution you to attempt to determine just how important these matching outfits are to your partner, then compare that to just how uncomfortable you feel. Sometimes a sacrifice is required.

That said, lord knows there are ways to coordinate your outfits without both of you wearing the same thing.
It is very important to him. He is so excited about it he even bought the same socks for us to wear. I am not keen as I am afraid he may expect it all the time.

 

[kwilkinson]

Originally Posted by Always Suited

It is very important to him. He is so excited about it he even bought the same socks for us to wear. I am not keen as I am afraid he may expect it all the time.

Fact of the matter is, if this is a real relationship that you want to sustain past this one event, you need to let him know how you feel. Tell him you don't mind coordinating (if that's the case) but don't want to completely match. If you don't let him know how you feel now, it's just going to get uglier the longer it goes on.

 

[TheFoo]

Your opinion is the one that counts and it should be weighed equally against your partner's. You don't feel comfortable dressing exactly like your partner but are willing to do so, to some degree, in order to make him happy. Would he dress the way you want him to in order to make you happy? I would explore that possibility with him. Hopefully you will come to some sort of compromise or understanding.

 

[Always Suited]

As he is so excited and has spent the money on the clothes I will go along with the matching outfits, but you are right I will have to explain this is a "special" occasion and not something I want to do everyday. The relationship is very important to me and I have to admit I am not very aggressive in expressing my opinions.

 

[a tailor]

warning if this is real, it smacks of CONTROL.

 

[Douglas]

Originally Posted by Always Suited

He even packed away all my spread collar shirts and bought me a couple of dozen of the pin type. He usually lays out my clothes and I go along with it. The problem is for christmas he bought us matching suits/ties cufflinks etc and matching tuxedos. He wants us to wear the suits when we go out to dinner this weekend and the tuxedos to the New Years Eve party we are attending (most people will be in suits).

I hate to poop on your parade here and play Dr. Phil but this is extraordinarily bizarre and controlling behavior. If someone tried to make me their clone or to dress me on a daily basis I would run, run, run away. This person is violating your personal freedom and seems to have no respect for your sartorial preference boundaries.

It sounds awfully dire when I put it like that, but I can promise you that this behavior will not constrain itself to what you wear. Psychoses/neuroses always have their telltale signs.

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by a tailor

warning if this is real, it smacks of CONTROL.
I was about to add
"+1"
to a tailor's post, but the plus sign would be misplaced. This is control in a very negative fashion, perhaps to the degree of a deal breaker. I'd suggest you have a heart-to-heart with your partner asap.

 

[Always Suited]

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

I was about to add
"+1"
to a tailor's post, but the plus sign would be misplaced. This is control in a very negative fashion, perhaps to the degree of a deal breaker. I'd suggest you have a heart-to-heart with your partner asap.
We dated for several months before we moved in together and are close and loving. Isn't this reaction a bit paronoid?

 

[topbroker]

Originally Posted by Douglas

I hate to poop on your parade here and play Dr. Phil but this is extraordinarily bizarre and controlling behavior. If someone tried to make me their clone or to dress me on a daily basis I would run, run, run away. This person is violating your personal freedom and seems to have no respect for your sartorial preference boundaries.

It sounds awfully dire when I put it like that, but I can promise you that this behavior will not constrain itself to what you wear. Psychoses/neuroses always have their telltale signs.

I agree completely. This just does not sound healthy. In fact, it sounds downtight creepy. Sorry to put it so, but you did ask what we thought.