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Long Relationships for Youngsters

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Augusto86, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. Faded501s

    Faded501s Senior member

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    My advice is if you're in love, and cant imagine being with anyone else for the rest of your life, why don't second-guess it. You know if it's right or not. People giving you advice are just going to base the advice on their own experience, which is totally random.

    DAMN! I wish I was half as mature as you guys when I was in my 20's (kind of). I think I agree with what most are saying and this probably falls into the category of "my own experience, which is totally random". I totally agree with that post BTW, which very succinctly sums up what I really believe.

    I'm just into my 40's and never been married. There have been "droughts" when I've certainly felt lonely, especially after some of the better, longer relationships. Generally I'm happier when in a relationship and believe all of us need to find that special person, but over time I've come to the following (contradictory) conclusions. A guy should not get married until he's at least 30 and a girl should not until 25. It's my random experience that the marriages of those younger than that end up in bitter divorce. Conversely, those that make it, or those that wait a little and end up marrying their H.S./college "sweethearts" are the happiest couples I know. Go figure.
     
  2. rdawson808

    rdawson808 Senior member

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    Wondering how many other (young) SFers are or have been in long(3+ years) relationships.




    Not quite, but from 17-19 years of age (for two full years) I dated the same woman/girl. It was committed (not off-on) and we were very much in love, for a couple of teenagers. It enriched my life at such a young age. We eventually broke up after a while at different colleges across the state from one another. We just grew apart. I have nothing but fond memories of the time.

    bob
     
  3. cmrocks

    cmrocks Senior member

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    This thread has been great to read.

    I'm 20 right now and I started dating around seriously when I was 18. I met some pretty cool girls in that time period, had a lot of fun but nothing serious ever came out of the girls I had dated. I just started college this year and for the first few months, I did the same thing, I slept around quite a bit and had fun. It started to lose its interest very quickly. I couldn't really get into it with a random girl. I would enjoy myself at the time but as soon as it was over, I always felt really guilty. I would also feel a disrespect towards the girl for putting out so easily even though this was completely unfair.

    I met a girl in October and we started hanging out a lot then started dating in November. It has since progressed into a 4 month relationship. It's the longest relationship I've been in so far. Maybe I'm naive for saying this, but at the rate things are going, I think her and I are going to be together for quite a while. We have talked about it and both agree on that. Since being with her, we have gone through a few rough patches but everything seems to bring us closer together. I think a lot of it has just been an adjustment as both of us are settling into being in a serious relationship in different ways. All I know is that I'm the happiest I've ever been right now and I'm enjoying my relationship and not really worrying the future.
     
  4. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    Wondering how many other (young) SFers are or have been in long(3+ years) relationships. This is sort of targeted to people before 23-24 because, well, that's where I fit in. I just often feel like the only person I know who is in a similar situation. Everyone else is "playing the field," and having been out of that game since my the end of my sophomore year(of high school, so age 15- age 20) I keep wondering if I'm missing something.

    Some people will read this and go, good god man, you must be mad. Perhaps so. I haven't touched another girl in 5 years, but I have no regrets.

    Still, I like to hear people's stories and views, as well as advice on where to go, and how long I can feasibly save up before buying "the rock." I don't to delay out of commitment issues, but out of the fact that I am broke, diabetic, a casual alcoholic and a helpless clotheshorse [​IMG]


    Well, you are missing something, but probably not as much as others your age would have you believe. Everyone is different. Your needs are different than mine or your best friends'. If you're happy, forget about what everyone else is doing.

    I've never particularly enjoyed playing the field. I find it tedious, but also felt it was something I had to do. I've enjoyed myself some of the time, but probably would have been happier had I spent the time in relationships. Now that I want a real relationship, I'm finding it hard to find a suitable girl... They don't come along whenever it suits you. It's numbers and luck. Dating more women doesn't necessarily mean you'll find one that's a better match for you than the one you've already found.

    My opinion is that if you have someone that makes you happy, and that you could possibly have a future with, then don't piss it away because the perceived norm of the day is to sleep with dozens of women before you commit yourself in to a long-term relationship. Only you are positioned to really evaluate this, however.

    There's a certain skepticism about young love that holds a lot of weight, but isn't universal. Just because Ratboy and VMan thought they were and weren't, doesn't mean their situations apply to your own.
     
  5. sonick

    sonick Senior member

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    Interesting reads for me as well, in this thread. I'm 21, and I've just started seeing a girl semi-seriously, and I've fallen pretty hard for (and vice versa, by what she tells me)... Whether it's just the natural infatuation and energy at the start of relationships, I don't know.

    It's only been a month, but it's something I've never really felt before. I wasn't exactly a player, with girls at my disposal, but I've had my share of experiences, but never this serious.

    I really don't know how this is gonna go, whether it'll be over 2 weeks from now, or we'll still be together a year from now; this is totally uncharted territory for me, but it's good to hear your guys' input on these things.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Reggs

    Reggs Senior member

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    I started dating my current gf when she was 16 and I was 17 in high school. We were head over heels pretty quickly and she moved in with my family when she was 17(long story) and has lived with me ever since.

    Right now Im 22 and she is living with me in a condo. She moved from TN to MS and now to CA with me. We have a great relationship with no regrets. People often think that for this age that its a good thing to "practice" with many different girls, and I think that is the case for most young men/teens, but it has never been my desire, even before I started dating her. A lot of people my age who have shorter relationships frequently go thru emotional highs and lows, not that thats a criticism, but ours have always been pretty constant, kind of like an old couple.
     
  7. Eason

    Eason Senior member

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    Sorta. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. We've been long distance probably 14 various months total out of those 24. It's tough, but you learn a lot about yourselves. I have "played the field" and I found out my girl was/is simply better than them. No regrets.
     
  8. metkirk

    metkirk Senior member

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    Three years and broke up 2 months ago, the longer the relationship the more it hurts. I feel like I missed out a lot on life.
     
  9. avatar

    avatar Senior member

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    I'm 20, and we just hit 2 years. No regrets, the 'playing the field' gig disgusts me anyway.

    ON EDIT: And no, she wasn't my first g/f.
     
  10. chronoaug

    chronoaug Senior member

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    I'm 20, and we just hit 2 years. No regrets, the 'playing the field' gig disgusts me anyway. ON EDIT: And no, she wasn't my first g/f.
    Fuck. You just stole my life. I'm 20 and she's 21, and we just hit 2 years in early march. I've had 2-3 girlfriends before. None lasting longer than 3 months though. While my girlfriend and i are doing great, i do hear the stories from my single friends and wonder a bit. Also, i think girls have a sensor that tells them when guys have girlfriends that way they can hit on them. There was this girl who i went on a small date with before i started dating my current gf, and things went well and we wanted to hang out again. Every time i called her to do something some weekend she'd be out of town, or she'd call me and i'd be somewhere else. We kept having almost misses and then we just stopped talking and i assumed she lost interest. A few months later the day after i started dating my current gf "officially", i was at a local band show and she called me out of the blue and said she was coming to the show too. She got there and did the little "walk by me while gently sliding her hand across my lower back and giving me a come fuck me stare". I was dumbfounded. I mean, it worked out for me, but i think all girls know and just like to frustrate men.
     
  11. avatar

    avatar Senior member

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    chrono: Agreed about girls hitting on me only when I'm dating my g/f. I'm 20 (just turned) and she turns 20 in April. I've had... 3-4 girlfriends before. Longest was ... 5-6 months?
     
  12. sonick

    sonick Senior member

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    She got there and did the little "walk by me while gently sliding her hand across my lower back and giving me a come fuck me stare". I was dumbfounded. I mean, it worked out for me, but i think all girls know and just like to frustrate men.
    Evil [​IMG]
     
  13. cmrocks

    cmrocks Senior member

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    Haha I've noticed that more women have hit on me/approached me since I've been in a relationship. It doesn't seem to matter whether the girl knows I'm in a relationship or not. My theory is that if a girl sees me with my girlfriend (who is very good looking; much more so than myself on a 1-10 scale I would say) they probably figure that she knows something about me that they don't. For girls who don't know I'm in a relationship, my theory is that I just display a more happy and confident attitude since I'm happy and not searching for a relationship. I think that shows and girls pick up on it and find it attractive.
     
  14. chronoaug

    chronoaug Senior member

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    I know. That's the thing. That girl had no fucking idea i was in a relationship. I'm a few weeks from 21 so i'm sure when i go out to bars or nightspots other girls might catch on that i'm in a relationship and try to fuck with me. Try to rub up on the slubby jeans or something.
     
  15. sonick

    sonick Senior member

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    "oh hey honey! This is Cindy. She's not straddling my leg, she was just checking out my slubs and crotch rivets"
     
  16. skalogre

    skalogre Senior member

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    Hmm... how young? I have been with my wife since 1999, married for six year in two months. I must have been around 22 when I married. I don't regret that. It is hard work, and there are ups and downs but if you love the person you just persevere and stick with the plan. That is it really. As was previously mentioned, if you feel that it is right for you, stick it out [​IMG] And if you decide to play the field, be a man. Seriously. Don't lead the other person on and betray them. Being a man means taking responsibility and being honest [​IMG]
     

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