Jesus in your pocket? Wrath pants are here.

[cordarounds]

Always fun to introduce new ideas to the Style forum for praise & ridicule. This is the 3rd in our seven-part tribute to the deadly sins. First was Gluttony. Second was Envy. Today, I proudly present WRATH. You can find 'em all on Betabrand.com. Now, on to the story:

Following the decadent success of our Gluttony and Envy pants, we're pleased as punch to release the 3rd edition of our seven-trouser tribute to the Deadly Sins. Introducing Wrath pants, the newest, blackest members of the Betabrand family!

They’re blacker than a coal-miner's armpits on a moonless midnight. Blacker than a dark-matter milkshake. Blacker than Finnish death metal. Good Lord, they're black! Speaking of which, we've lined these black-hearted beauties with a veritable A-team of wrathful deities. Yes, that's furious Jesus firing a M60 from one pocket, and Buddha blasting a flamethrower from the other. They're joined by the irate trio of Thor, Ganesh, and Anubis – armed, respectively, with a rocket launcher, Uzis, and a chainsaw.*

In addition to the performance features listed below, we're proud to announce that each pair of Wrath pants comes with a t-shirt that borrows from the finest traditions of heavy-metal merchandising. And that's not all: Wrath pants have their own screaming-guitar theme song to fill your veins with scalding venom every time you put them on!

Wrath pants performance features: · Awarded platinum rating from Steven Segal Institute of Advanced Vengeance Studies. · Clap of thunder issues forth when unzipping fly.

· Cause sinister black gloves to materialize on hands. · Give legs irresistible urge to kick ass. · Translate as “you are doomed” when used in nautical semaphore. · Will spontaneously combust little fluffy dogs on contact. · If worn while walking through hell, demons will avoid direct eye contact. · Best washed in hot blood of vanquished foes, and tumble-dried on low. *Production costs prevent us from including all deities and holy figures. However, if you’d be interested in a coffee mug depicting, for instance, a burning bush brandishing Molotov cocktails, please let us know. See 'em for yourself at www.betabrand.com

 

[brad-t]

tastelessness of ed hardy-like magnitude

 

[bryanayrb]

this is fake right

 

[cordarounds]

It's as real as wrath itself.

 

[dsmolken]

Hahaha, this is awesome.

Edit: I'm reposting this in a few metal forums. That should be fun.

 

[Melo]

I've never liked that tab on these pants.

 

[max_r]

Originally Posted by bkstone

I imagine metal fans would like that.

i imagine they'd say they are too tight edit- unless the metal fan preferred aesthetic has changed since i was in highschool... it was the baggiest black clothes available.

 

[scott.m]

This is ******* genius.

 

[Nouveau Pauvre]

You couldn't have found someone with neck and hand tattoos to model these? 6/10

 

[scott.m]

Originally Posted by Magician

You couldn't have found someone with neck and hand tattoos to model these? 6/10

Where is Jacob Bannon when you need him?

 

[Harold falcon]

Is that really the fashion now to wear pants so tight across the upper thigh that the pants' pocket lining is exposed? That looks really uncomfortable.

EDIT - Also, pretty sure Jesus' weapon of choice would be a chainsaw, he was a carpenter after all.

 

[lmaozedong]

you guys should look into doing a collab with this brand called fuel star. they make really dope graphic ts

 

[cordarounds]

Which metal forums did you post them in? I'd love to hear what they have to say.

 

[Listi]

I'm not gonna cop, but, hilarious. Your brand is cool just for their blissful irrelevance to anything.

 

[ahjota]

Originally Posted by Listi

I'm not gonna cop, but, hilarious. Your brand is cool just for their blissful irrelevance to anything.

+1