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Jesus in your pocket? Wrath pants are here.

cordarounds

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Always fun to introduce new ideas to the Style forum for praise & ridicule. This is the 3rd in our seven-part tribute to the deadly sins. First was Gluttony. Second was Envy. Today, I proudly present WRATH. You can find 'em all on Betabrand.com. Now, on to the story:
Following the decadent success of our Gluttony and Envy pants, we're pleased as punch to release the 3rd edition of our seven-trouser tribute to the Deadly Sins. Introducing Wrath pants, the newest, blackest members of the Betabrand family!
They’re blacker than a coal-miner's armpits on a moonless midnight. Blacker than a dark-matter milkshake. Blacker than Finnish death metal. Good Lord, they're black! Speaking of which, we've lined these black-hearted beauties with a veritable A-team of wrathful deities. Yes, that's furious Jesus firing a M60 from one pocket, and Buddha blasting a flamethrower from the other. They're joined by the irate trio of Thor, Ganesh, and Anubis – armed, respectively, with a rocket launcher, Uzis, and a chainsaw.*
In addition to the performance features listed below, we're proud to announce that each pair of Wrath pants comes with a t-shirt that borrows from the finest traditions of heavy-metal merchandising. And that's not all: Wrath pants have their own screaming-guitar theme song to fill your veins with scalding venom every time you put them on!
Wrath pants performance features: · Awarded platinum rating from Steven Segal Institute of Advanced Vengeance Studies. · Clap of thunder issues forth when unzipping fly.
· Cause sinister black gloves to materialize on hands. · Give legs irresistible urge to kick ass. · Translate as “you are doomed” when used in nautical semaphore. · Will spontaneously combust little fluffy dogs on contact. · If worn while walking through hell, demons will avoid direct eye contact. · Best washed in hot blood of vanquished foes, and tumble-dried on low. *Production costs prevent us from including all deities and holy figures. However, if you’d be interested in a coffee mug depicting, for instance, a burning bush brandishing Molotov cocktails, please let us know. See 'em for yourself at www.betabrand.com
 

dsmolken

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Hahaha, this is awesome.

Edit: I'm reposting this in a few metal forums. That should be fun.
 

Melo

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I've never liked that tab on these pants.
 

max_r

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Originally Posted by bkstone
I imagine metal fans would like that.

i imagine they'd say they are too tight edit- unless the metal fan preferred aesthetic has changed since i was in highschool... it was the baggiest black clothes available.
 

scott.m

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This is fucking genius.
 

Nouveau Pauvre

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You couldn't have found someone with neck and hand tattoos to model these? 6/10
 

scott.m

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Originally Posted by Magician
You couldn't have found someone with neck and hand tattoos to model these? 6/10

Where is Jacob Bannon when you need him?
 

Harold falcon

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Is that really the fashion now to wear pants so tight across the upper thigh that the pants' pocket lining is exposed? That looks really uncomfortable.

EDIT - Also, pretty sure Jesus' weapon of choice would be a chainsaw, he was a carpenter after all.
 

lmaozedong

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you guys should look into doing a collab with this brand called fuel star. they make really dope graphic ts
 

cordarounds

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Which metal forums did you post them in? I'd love to hear what they have to say.
 

Listi

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I'm not gonna cop, but, hilarious. Your brand is cool just for their blissful irrelevance to anything.
 

ahjota

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Originally Posted by Listi
I'm not gonna cop, but, hilarious. Your brand is cool just for their blissful irrelevance to anything.

+1
 

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