Is your wife/girlfriend/lover comfortable with you keeping photos of ex's?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by merkur, Feb 5, 2011.

  1. PorterInjax

    PorterInjax Senior member

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    One ex in particular I've remained very close to. Last time we had anything romantic between us was about 17 years ago. She is a very important part of my life. While we live far apart and rarely see each other, we email and talk. I've made it clear to any females that enter my life now that cutting off contact with her is not an option, this includes a now ex-wife who was not happy with it all.
    The way I see it, unless one person did something shitty to end the relationship AND if you spent a lot of time with this person (years, not months) then it is stupid to not have contact. I for one have a shit load of friends but very few close friends. Keeping the close friends is more important to me know than it was a decade ago to be sure (I'm 45).
     


  2. Svenn

    Svenn Senior member

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    Its funny but every woman I've dated has told me she always remains friends with her ex's, has aimicable breakups etc but when it came time with me, none of them actually maintained any contact with me afterwards :)

    lol, +1. I guess we're the evil ones [​IMG]

    Hmm, don't any of you guys remain friends/on good terms with your ex's?

    Yes, but it's insanely insensitive to make this known to your current gf, in my humble opinion. I know other guys are more frank, but I prefer my current gf to think I haven't been with anyone else meaningful and she blows them all out of the water, and I'd prefer if she did the same to me... it just makes things more romantic and easier, even if it's not necessarily true. Maybe after a few years when the parties know each other better, it's not that big of a deal to start talking about exes.
     


  3. Svenn

    Svenn Senior member

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    One ex in particular I've remained very close to. Last time we had anything romantic between us was about 17 years ago. She is a very important part of my life. While we live far apart and rarely see each other, we email and talk. I've made it clear to any females that enter my life now that cutting off contact with her is not an option, this includes a now ex-wife who was not happy with it all.
    The way I see it, unless one person did something shitty to end the relationship AND if you spent a lot of time with this person (years, not months) then it is stupid to not have contact. I for one have a shit load of friends but very few close friends. Keeping the close friends is more important to me know than it was a decade ago to be sure (I'm 45).


    [​IMG] Would you seriously not care if your wife sweet talked to some hot studly ex boyfriend of hers every night on the phone because "he is a very important part of my life" ? It seems profoundly selfish to me, but to each his own I guess. I could see myself doing the same I suppose, but I would have never told her about it (ignorance is bliss).
     


  4. PorterInjax

    PorterInjax Senior member

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    [​IMG] Would you seriously not care if your wife sweet talked to some hot studly ex boyfriend of hers every night on the phone because "he is a very important part of my life" ? It seems profoundly selfish to me, but to each his own I guess. I could see myself doing the same I suppose, but I would have never told her about it (ignorance is bliss).

    Actually, I've always been a bit curious about why the lady I'm seeing now doesn't have contact with anyone from her past other than her ex-husband. She has been divorced for 13 years and two daughters with the guy so of course they communicate. I'm not talking about flings or fleeting romances (good God too many of those in my past, being ALPHA AS FUCK [​IMG] ...I am talking about the type of thing where two people had enough to see each other long term but not LONG TERM. Meaning, there was enough respect and caring for each other but not enough to see it to the grave.

    WTF? I'm usually a cynical bastard but drinking some wine this eve and feeling a bit contemplative...nothing to see here, move along [​IMG]
     


  5. TintoTerra

    TintoTerra Senior member

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    I found out the hard way that she is definitely not OK with it.
     


  6. deadly7

    deadly7 Senior member

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    This.

    I always tease them whenever the subject of an ex comes up.


    +1[​IMG]

    I'm fairly taliban when it comes to this stuff though, I'll be pissed for days if she even just mentions an ex.

    If you're all serious about being mad when your S/O mentions an ex, you have serious issues and should not be dating.
     


  7. NAMOR

    NAMOR Senior member

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    If you're all serious about being mad when your S/O mentions an ex, you have serious issues and should not be dating.
    [​IMG]
     


  8. jingco

    jingco Active Member

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    I think having pictures is important because those were good times. Couples should have trust in each other and if they can't trust you for having a few pictures then it's not that strong.
     


  9. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    Hmm, don't any of you guys remain friends/on good terms with your ex's?

    What possible reason would there be to communicate with a woman you're not having sex with?
     




  10. merkur

    merkur Senior member

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    ..
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2011


  11. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    If you're all serious about being mad when your S/O mentions an ex, you have serious issues and should not be dating.

    ya, I was basically thinking "then his insecurity is a bigger issue than her ex"

    anyhow - for clarification sake - it's not like I keep printed out pics of my exes on my bedside table, but facebook is loaded with pics of me and various girls with whom Ive been intimately acquainted, I have a bunch of pics on my hard disk from various holidays with various girls, and I'm not about to go deleting any of them.
     


  12. Gibonius

    Gibonius Senior member

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    It wouldn't bother me if my wife had pictures of ex-boyfriends in an album or a shoebox etc. If they were on display, it would be an issue I think. Neither has been an issue, maybe they exist but I've never seen them so I really haven't put any thought into it.

    Nudes would be completely unacceptable, can't imagine anyone really being cool with that.

    I've always just deleted/thrown out pictures from failed relationships. I haven't had a completely amicable breakup/let's just be friends thing come out of a serious relationship, so it's just easier on the psyche to get rid of everything. Can't say that I miss any of it, and I think it helped me move on.
     


  13. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    I've kept the pictures that I have, and she has as well. I see hers once in a while, seldom look at my own. We both know we're not the first in each others' lives so IMHO it's a bit hypocritical to pretend otherwise.
     


  14. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    I do keep pictures but don't advertise it!
    I remained "good" frineds with 1-2. 1 in particular got married a few years ago and I offered to pay for her wedding shoes. She was all for it at first and was not going to let her fiance(at the time) know. But then she said no. I wasn't invited to the wedding.
     


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