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Is your best friend of the opposite sex?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by cheessus, Dec 13, 2009.

  1. Listi

    Listi Senior member

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    To tell you the truth I'm not sure what this thread is really about. First off if you're married or engaged then that woman/man should be your best friend among other things. After that is your social circle of friends which is another thing altogether. I find it odd when someone wants to take a member from this group and somehow value them as much as a spouse/SO. It's even more strange when that person is of the opposite sex. My first thoughts when I see this kind of thing is what's the problem or WTF is really going on here.
    Regardless if you're married or whatnot, it isn't weird. You can be good friends with someone without any sexual interest, I'm good friends with some girls who I don't consider attractive, and friends with some lesbians. It's not that I'm better friends with them than my girlfriend, we just have a different dynamic. Just because your favourite food is steak, doesn't mean you don't want pancakes for breakfast. Also in my case, I've known my girlfriend for around a year, but the majority of my close female friends I've known for closer to 3 years, and one or two of them over ten. Also, you need female friends to talk about your girl problems because talking about them to dudes is worthless. Girls will actually care about your problems and try to give you insight, where guys will just be like "suck it up" "dump that bitch" "plenty of fish in the sea" "get drunk and you won't care." Useless shit like that. My girlfriend and I have no worries or jealousy about the other whatsoever. I've slept over at other girls' houses before, she knows that, and she doesn't care. She knows I wasn't cheating. Because we have this nice healthy relationship where we know that we'd just go ahead break up if we were interested in other people. It's gotta suck balls to have a jealous girlfriend, I'd dump her immediately, nothing is worse than someone trying to judge you when you're not even doing anything wrong.
     
  2. tor

    tor Senior member

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    Regardless if you're married or whatnot, it isn't weird.

    You can be good friends with someone without any sexual interest, I'm good friends with some girls who I don't consider attractive, and friends with some lesbians. It's not that I'm better friends with them than my girlfriend, we just have a different dynamic. Just because your favourite food is steak, doesn't mean you don't want pancakes for breakfast. Also in my case, I've known my girlfriend for around a year, but the majority of my close female friends I've known for closer to 3 years, and one or two of them over ten.

    Also, you need female friends to talk about your girl problems because talking about them to dudes is worthless. Girls will actually care about your problems and try to give you insight, where guys will just be like "suck it up" "dump that bitch" "plenty of fish in the sea" "get drunk and you won't care." Useless shit like that.

    My girlfriend and I have no worries or jealousy about the other whatsoever. I've slept over at other girls' houses before, she knows that, and she doesn't care. She knows I wasn't cheating. Because we have this nice healthy relationship where we know that we'd just go ahead break up if we were interested in other people.

    It's gotta suck balls to have a jealous girlfriend, I'd dump her immediately, nothing is worse than someone trying to judge you when you're not even doing anything wrong.


    I think you just have shitty guy friends. Possibly because you're seen as a guy whose best friends are girls. I know a guy like that and he has no close guy friends whatsoever, apart from the "don't be a pussy" type that you seem to be describing.

    This is all conjecture, though.
     
  3. Crane's

    Crane's Senior member

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    Regardless if you're married or whatnot, it isn't weird.

    You can be good friends with someone without any sexual interest, I'm good friends with some girls who I don't consider attractive, and friends with some lesbians. It's not that I'm better friends with them than my girlfriend, we just have a different dynamic. Just because your favourite food is steak, doesn't mean you don't want pancakes for breakfast. Also in my case, I've known my girlfriend for around a year, but the majority of my close female friends I've known for closer to 3 years, and one or two of them over ten.

    Also, you need female friends to talk about your girl problems because talking about them to dudes is worthless. Girls will actually care about your problems and try to give you insight, where guys will just be like "suck it up" "dump that bitch" "plenty of fish in the sea" "get drunk and you won't care." Useless shit like that.

    My girlfriend and I have no worries or jealousy about the other whatsoever. I've slept over at other girls' houses before, she knows that, and she doesn't care. She knows I wasn't cheating. Because we have this nice healthy relationship where we know that we'd just go ahead break up if we were interested in other people.

    It's gotta suck balls to have a jealous girlfriend, I'd dump her immediately, nothing is worse than someone trying to judge you when you're not even doing anything wrong.


    This is a thread about your best friend and not good friends. Your response validates exactly what I have said about it being weird or the sign of a problem.
     
  4. Listi

    Listi Senior member

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    I think you just have shitty guy friends. Possibly because you're seen as a guy whose best friends are girls. I know a guy like that and he has no close guy friends whatsoever, apart from the "don't be a pussy" type that you seem to be describing. This is all conjecture, though.
    I am exaggerating, obviously. I only have a few friends who are like that and my best guy friends aren't really like that. But I still always get interesting conversation from girls, equally to more interesting than from my best guy friends. And I have a female friend who allows me to bitch at her for an unrestricted amount of time about my problems and will always just "be supportive" if she's not useful it's at least a nice thing. Don't know many guys like that.
     
  5. tor

    tor Senior member

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    I am exaggerating, obviously. I only have a few friends who are like that and my best guy friends aren't really like that. But I still always get interesting conversation from girls, equally to more interesting than from my best guy friends. And I have a female friend who allows me to bitch at her for an unrestricted amount of time about my problems and will always just "be supportive" if she's not useful it's at least a nice thing. Don't know many guys like that.
    Maybe I just have really good guy friends. I bitch to my guy friends about whatever I want. Although I get what you're saying: sometimes it's just easier to bitch to a girl, which is what my good girl friend is for. Ha, she never seems to get tired of talking about the most inane things.
     
  6. SVS

    SVS Senior member

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    I've had a female best friend for more than 10 years. Most of my GFs, haven't had a problem with it. I'm not shy about who she is with my GFs and they just accept it for what it is. (A few of the GF may have realized they go before she did.) Really, it hasn't been a problem.
     
  7. California Dreamer

    California Dreamer Senior member

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    I have many close female friends, and few close male friends. Don't know why, it just works out like that.

    My wife is not at all jealous of my female friends - she introduced me to many of them. Two of them are my drinking buddies - no bottle of red is safe when we get together.

    I've been married 28 years, so it seems to work OK
     
  8. Runningman411

    Runningman411 Well-Known Member

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    Why would anyone want to be best friends with a female? Close friends or drinking buddies I can understand. But, if you're in serious relationship with a woman, why would you want to have two women nagging you all the time? Seriously, though, it takes a different approach to be friends with a woman. You can sit and watch a game with a buddy and not say anything meaningful to each other for 3 hours. You just can't do that with a woman.

    Those of you that like to have girl talk with your female best friends should reevaluate things...[​IMG]
     
  9. jabreal00

    jabreal00 Senior member

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    no fegs, im not asking if your wife/gf is your best friend.

    how do you balance that friendship when you're in a relationship? for those who say it isnt a problem, your SO is a saint.

    i believe it goes without saying that this thread is (no homo).


    No. All my closest friends are guys. I have female friends but I do no regularly keep up.

    ----------------
    Listening to: Goldfrapp - Paperbag
    via FoxyTunes
     
  10. Fuuma

    Fuuma Senior member

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    Why would anyone want to be best friends with a female? Close friends or drinking buddies I can understand. But, if you're in serious relationship with a woman, why would you want to have two women nagging you all the time? Seriously, though, it takes a different approach to be friends with a woman. You can sit and watch a game with a buddy and not say anything meaningful to each other for 3 hours. You just can't do that with a woman.

    Those of you that like to have girl talk with your female best friends should reevaluate things...[​IMG]


    I don't like listening to games, I'd rather talk with people. There is nothing to reevaluate except the stupid clichÃ[​IMG]s you take for granted and that are limiting your horizons. Note that most dudes I know aren't really into being dumbass pricks and I can actually talk to them too.
     
  11. Runningman411

    Runningman411 Well-Known Member

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    I don't like listening to games, I'd rather talk with people. There is nothing to reevaluate except the stupid clichÃ[​IMG]s you take for granted and that are limiting your horizons. Note that most dudes I know aren't really into being dumbass pricks and I can actually talk to them too.

    I think you somehow have the impression that my friends and I are ESPN watching meatheads and that you, sophisticated man, are above that. Carry on...
     
  12. Eccentric

    Eccentric Senior member

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    its an impossible situation for me, I ether want to bone them, or i'm not interested in seeing them.

    Yep, this.
     
  13. Fuuma

    Fuuma Senior member

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    I think you somehow have the impression that my friends and I are ESPN watching meatheads and that you, sophisticated man, are above that. Carry on...

    Not really, I know people who are into sports and aren't morons. I am under the impression that you believe in retarded clichÃ[​IMG]s and I told you so, that is all.
     
  14. Threak

    Threak Senior member

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    its an impossible situation for me, I ether want to bone them, or i'm not interested in seeing them.

    I was taking a psych class titled Human Sexuality once, when one of the girls in class proposed the theory that all guys feel that way. A poll of the male students followed, and they all agreed. I tried to formulate an argument against it, but then realized they were right.
     
  15. guardimp

    guardimp Well-Known Member

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    Only if all ypu think about is sex, and ignore just being friends.
     
  16. BreakfastPirate

    BreakfastPirate Well-Known Member

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    I've come to realize the only female friends I have that I don't necessarily want to have sex with are the ones I met several years before I started having sex. I think there's something to this...
     
  17. AThingForCashmere

    AThingForCashmere Senior member

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    I was taking a psych class titled Human Sexuality once, when one of the girls in class proposed the theory that all guys feel that way. A poll of the male students followed, and they all agreed. I tried to formulate an argument against it, but then realized they were right.

    Careful with that "all guys" stuff. A certain percentage of us don't see any women as anything other than friends.

    But as a gay male, all of my best friends over the years have been male. I'm not big on talking, especially small talk. E.g. 15 minutes at most parties and I'm ready to leave. Very hard to find female friends who know how to just experience life without constantly talking about it.
     
  18. Gingahbman

    Gingahbman Senior member

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    I think maintaining a "best friend" friendship with someone of the same sex is 10 times easier. I just feel with best friends of the opposite sex so many things can go wrong/awkward.
     
  19. SkinnyGoomba

    SkinnyGoomba Senior member

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    I was taking a psych class titled Human Sexuality once, when one of the girls in class proposed the theory that all guys feel that way. A poll of the male students followed, and they all agreed. I tried to formulate an argument against it, but then realized they were right.

    I actually find it insulting to be viewed in any way other then sexual with a woman that i share a friendly connection with.
     
  20. Matt

    Matt Senior member

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    this is why I keep an active cap on female friends. One and one alone. Everyone else is defined differently (roommate, roommate's friend, Steve's girlfriend, John's ex...whatever)...none of them are My Friends, despite how friendly we may be.
     

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