Is there any way to get your sister to dump a loser bf?

[GQgeek]

She already lives with the guy and they've been going out for 6 years. She's finishing university soon but she's thinking of going and staying at his family's place for the whole summer. I just want her to end it already since this guy has 0 potential in life. He's just not intelligent and has too many rough edges to ever succeed at anything. She's a smart, pretty girl, so I dunno wtf she's thinking...

 

[EL72]

Drop it. It's her life and there is very little you can do about her choice in men outside of shutting her out of your life if you disapprove sufficiently to do so. At any rate, he may not live up to your definition of an ideal boyfriend but unless he is abusive, there is no reason she can't be happy with him despite his faults. That's all that matters in the end.

 

[GQgeek]

I see what you're getting at, but who's saying ideal? Tolerable would suit me fine at this point. The guy is 25 and he still smokes weed every day. He's a complete ignoramus. He's not physically abusive, but I have been witness to behavior I didn't approve of. He's apparently rude to my mother when they visit her and I imagine he exhibits the same sort of behavior with my sister when they're alone.

 

[EL72]

I thought you too couldn't stand your mother.

 

[GQgeek]

My mother is a mess, but I don't go out of my way to be an asshole to her. My sister is always fighting with my mother b/c my mother is always telling her what a loser her boyfriend is. He's the cause of that divide.

Besides, if he's staying at her house and she asks him for help moving a box or whatever , he should do it without fighting with her. To me it's just indicative of how he'll deal with my sister later on, if he doesn't treat her like behind closed doors already.

I know there's no easy answer to this. I was just talking to her though and it pisses me off.

 

[EL72]

So just tell her honestly that you're concerned about her future because of this relationship and that she should come to you if she ever has a problem or wants to talk so she knows you care and leave it at that. If you lecture her or say he's a loser, she'll ignore it and fight with you too.

 

[globetrotter]

when my sister was 19 she had an asshole boyfriend. my father tried to talk her out of him.

I don't know what happened - but for about 20 years my sister didn't have another boyfriend and ended up marrying a serious looser.

I honestly don'dt know what the **** happened, but something got screwed up somewhere. my take on it, better with the devil you know.

 

[Matt]

gqg - not what you want to hear man, but there is nothing you can do about it. The more you object, the more you will instill an 'us-against-the-world' mentality in her...right or wrong, you just end up losing your sister over it.

 

[LabelKing]

Put lipstick stains on his shirts and tickets to a drag show.

 

[Reggs]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

He's apparently rude to my mother when they visit her and I imagine he exhibits the same sort of behavior with my sister when they're alone.

I would not stand for this. Still though, people who say there's nothing you can do about your sister being with him are probably right. Just hope they don't have children.

 

[ratboycom]

burn their house down...


That aside, perhaps you should talk to your sister? How old is she? If she is about to finish university but is still with this guy perhaps she is affraid there is nothing better out there for her? She still has plenty of time to hook up with guys from college. I think you should try to sway her towards that if you want to take action. Perhaps even take her out to dinner, just you and her, and talk to her about her life ie what she wants to do/where its going/how she feels about it.


and then buy some Gasoline...

 

[Jared]

Did they meet in highschool or is she doing more than a four-year degree? (And by more, I just mean chronologically.) If they met in university, then there's an even chance that she'll dump him within a year of graduation. If not, then she still may have grown enough in university that he won't be what she's looking for anymore. Staying at his family's place could cause them a lot of tension: nobody likes inlaws.

Baring that, you should encourage her to get a high-stress job or to live in a city where she will have a better social network than the boyfriend. LabelKing's solution is faster and easier, though.

 

[Christofuh]

Well, there's one dude who can pay him a visit

 

[Lucky Strike]

Yep, make him an offer he can't refuse...play dirty. A classic gambit is to offer him a substantial amount of money to go away. If he accepts, good riddance and money well spent. If he refuses, he may have more character than you give him credit for. You, of course, may or may not have an intention of ever paying him anything. A tape of him accepting the offer will probably be sufficient for making your sister break up with him, if you go that far. Yes, I'm a cynic, although this is not entirely seriously meant.

Edit: And I'm taking no legal or moral responsiblity here. I've heard a story of it actually working.

 

[j]

Originally Posted by Christofuh

Well, there's one dude who can pay him a visit

Commandatore Data?