Is my girlfriend an alcoholic?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Trojanman74, Jul 20, 2008.

  1. Ludeykrus

    Ludeykrus Senior member

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    Ideally, right. Realistically, wrong.

    The girl can't handle life on her own without fucking up. Does he need a girl like that? No. That's stupid. He needs a girl that can handle simple things on her own; after all, if she gets violent for no good reason, what's going to happen when she has a good reason?

    I've seen this plenty before. If he stays with her, she will ruin his life. He will look back and think 'was it really worth all of that?' If she wants to help herself and is capable of doing it, she will. If she doesn't, then nothing he says or does will change her mind.
     
  2. Hard2Fit

    Hard2Fit Senior member

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    I've seen this plenty before. If he stays with her, she will ruin his life. He will look back and think 'was it really worth all of that?'

    Agreed.
    I give 9-1 odds this does not end well and the OP will be stuck thinking 'What a fucking waste of time.'
    I've been there too.
    The second time I learned my lesson.
     
  3. Ludeykrus

    Ludeykrus Senior member

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  4. Dewey

    Dewey Senior member

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    "Is my girlfriend an alcoholic?" -- as others said, alcoholism is more about uncontrollable problem drinking than it is about what someone does when they have been drinking. the details in your story are not enough to assess the nature of her drinking habits.

    "whats next?" -- more of the same.

    whenever there's stupid, destructive physical violence involved (smashing laptops, breaking down doors, throwing rocks at windows), there's a line being crossed. if you were my sibling, i'd say get out of this relationship ASAP. there's a lot of people to love in this world, you don't need this one particular person to be a happy person two years from now.

    either you are not good for her (as shown by this behavior), or she is not good for you (as shown by this behavior). that is bad chemistry, and this is not something i would think i could fix by being mr. patient. for all you know, your zen-like patience is what infuriates her. maybe if she was dating a hot head, she would be a more sober person. sometimes we act in a way that balances a relationship.

    so i mean this with no judgment of your character or her character. you guys are not mixing well right now, and it's not likely to get better, in my experience.

    get out of the relationship. help her move home. you are not married to her, you do not have children with her (i guess since you are obviously a big fan of condoms). there's no good reason for you to stay in the relationship.
     
  5. j

    j (stands for Jerk) Admin

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    Withdraw steadily, but do not break eye contact.
     
  6. dl20

    dl20 Senior member

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    I'd of 302'd her to the psych hospital.

    dl
     
  7. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    I've known men with girls like this who ended up marrying them. Don't be one of those men.
    +1
    I remember dating one girl that had led a difficult life in the past. She developed a combative attitude that was very unattractive and usually completley unnecessary. I would never marry someone that threw things.

    Withdraw steadily, but do not break eye contact.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. IUtoSLU

    IUtoSLU Senior member

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    If she doesn't want help, then

    get

    out

    now.
     
  9. Nugget

    Nugget Senior member

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    it seems to be a right of passage to have had a GF like this. And the good guys feel they should hang around and do the right thing. It's admirable.

    Bail!!!
     
  10. visionology

    visionology Senior member

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    It could be worse...you could be married. Send her home and run!
     
  11. Fuuma

    Fuuma Franchouillard Modasse

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    Is she making your life miserable? People break down sometimes and there's nothing especially special about that happening from time to time. Don't panic and try to have a calm and reasoned conversation about it.
     
  12. bachbeet

    bachbeet Senior member

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    She's an alcoholic. And, you're a co-dependent. Take it from someone who's been there.
     
  13. JLibourel

    JLibourel Senior member

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    I don't think alcoholism is the problem. It seems to me that this unfortunate young lady has some psychological problems that transcend normal female irrationality and bitchiness (which are difficult enough to deal with, God knows!) by a considerable margin.

    A wise shrink once said to me after my disastrous first marriage, very emphatically, "Marriage isn't therapy." The same would apply by extension, I'm sure, to live-in relationships.

    Don't be concerned about "helping" her. You don't indicate that you are any kind of trained psychotherapist, and if you were, you would know that you are too close to the situation to provide the objectivity necessary for a therapeutic relationship.

    I would most emphatically second the advice: "GET OUT NOW."

    Anyone with that much of a propensity to physical violence could be dangerous!
     
  14. j

    j (stands for Jerk) Admin

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    I'm no psych or doctor but it sounds somewhat like borderline personality disorder, aka a tendency to, often violently, flip out well beyond normal flipping out. Anyway, again, get away. Maybe talk to one of her friends or family members who would know you were sincere, and suggest that she may need professional help. (Assuming you know of one who wouldn't just repeat it straight back to her and cause her to attack you for saying it.)
     
  15. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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