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Is it ok to wear a tuxedo to an evening wedding?

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by knezz, Apr 1, 2010.

  1. binge

    binge Senior member

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    Quick and easy rules:
    • Do you know the bride better than the groom? If so, then ask the bride if she'd prefer you wear a tuxedo or a navy/grey suit.
    • Do you know the groom better than the bride? If so, then ask the bride if she'd prefer you wear a tuxedo or a navy/grey suit.
    • Do you know the bride and groom equally well? If so, then ask the bride if she'd prefer you wear a tuxedo or a navy/grey suit.
    • If you're not comfortable asking the bride this question, don't attend their wedding. Just send a gift.
     
  2. rickblaine

    rickblaine Active Member

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    I have a similar problem. I am attending a wedding next weekend where the dress-code is "dress festively". To me a suit is not festive since I wear it to work everyday and my definition of the word would probably be at least black tie. However, I have come to know that the groom is going to wear a light-grey suit. So what do I do? Can I still wear a dark navy suit with a bit of formality or should I go light-grey flannel alternative royal blue linnen?
     
  3. theyare

    theyare Senior member

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    I have a similar problem. I am attending a wedding next weekend where the dress-code is "dress festively". To me a suit is not festive since I wear it to work everyday and my definition of the word would probably be at least black tie. However, I have come to know that the groom is going to wear a light-grey suit. So what do I do? Can I still wear a dark navy suit with a bit of formality or should I go light-grey flannel alternative royal blue linnen?

    I would take that to mean a bit more casual & fun then a suit. Go for less conservative sportscoat/ slacks / tie
     
  4. erpet

    erpet Senior member

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    All right, so when the invitation to an afternoon wedding in the U.S. does not specify any dresscode, wearing a navy suit would be an appropriate thing to do for me as a guest? I'm double checking since where I live (Sweden), an invitation without a specified dresscode means formal wear.
     
  5. dopey

    dopey Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    The best advice is to ask, if possible. There is a good chance that the bride and groom will appreciate people being dressed formally and will tell you so. Or they will tell you not to.
    On the other hand, I disagree with the advice that you can never wear black tie if the invitation doesn't specify it. I have been to many weddings where some of the guests were in black tie even though the invitation said nothing. They looked fine and not at all out of place - it was an evening wedding, which is by definition fairly formal. Unless you know the wedding is of the aggressively informal type, then while suits are the norm,d black-tie might be unusual but still perfectly within the dress code. On the other hand, except when I have checked beforehand, I have never worn black tie when the invitation didn't specify it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2012
  6. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Senior member

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    I always wear a suit to weddings. You can't go wrong. If it's on the beach, I'll wear a tan cotton or seersucker.
     
  7. GBR

    GBR Senior member

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    Not really but is does not stop many. A suit is quite sufficient.
     
  8. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    OP posted that question 2 yrs ago. Wedding may have happened...:eh:
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2012
  9. kungapa

    kungapa Senior member

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    Back in the old country, I was always under the impression that it is improper for the hosts to outdress the guests. If the hosts specify black tie, and then show up in white tie themselves it is poor form. Same thing with the tuxedo/suit debacle - the wedding party should dress a "level up" to distinguish themselves, as that is rather garish. Then again, we also don't have matching ties and pocketsquares for the groom and groomsmen.
     
  10. kungapa

    kungapa Senior member

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    Well, erpet did the proper thing and resurrected an old thread rather than start a new one for an already discussed topic. Bra jobbat, erpet!
     
  11. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    correct but i was referring to what GBR responded to...the OP's original post FROM 2 YEARS AGO!!!!
     
  12. hyt123

    hyt123 Senior member

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    Also, the U.S. is not homogenous; west coast is more casual than east, generally speaking. You won't be too far off the mark in a navy suit, though, as long as you don't look like you were at the office before showing up, so spice it up a bit with a french-cuffed shirt, understated links, and a lighter tie. If you need to dress down further you can always lose the tie; just make sure you're wearing a v-neck undershirt that won't show if you need to unbutton the top of your shirt.
     
  13. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    good advice...
     
  14. Bounder

    Bounder Senior member

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    Wow. Your world is a magical place. I would kill to get into such a social circle. Is that one of the requirements?

    I'm afraid that, for most people, your experience is the precise opposite of theirs. Unless you know that the wedding is aggressively formal, you will look like an idiot showing up in a tuxedo even if the wedding and reception are in the middle of the night. Omit a precise dress code from the invitation, and a significant number of people will show up in flip-flops and cargo shorts.

    If you are having the reception at a venue that has a dress code, e.g., a country club, do not assume that people will realize automatically that there is a dress code. Sadly, you had better specify that dress code on the invitation. Even then, you are likely in for a few embarrassing situations when people ignore it anyway.
     
  15. dopey

    dopey Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Keep in mind that I live in a city, where everything is more formal, and hang out with the old people. But your comment points to the fact that nothing can replace having a feel for the event and the likely dress of the people who will be there.
     
  16. F. Corbera

    F. Corbera Senior member

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    I've seen photos of white tie and top hat at Holly Jolly Mocha.
     
  17. erpet

    erpet Senior member

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    Thanks for good advice, everyone.

    The wedding is in a church in Washington DC and the reception in a 19th century club, which probably also has a dresscode I should check out. (Which supersedes the other, by the way?)

    I'm afraid to ask the hosts since I am afraid of their answer; I prefer my wonderful navy Zegna suit to my old stuffy tux......
     
  18. Sir Humphrey Appleby

    Sir Humphrey Appleby Senior member

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    [​IMG]

    ?
     
  19. wintourh007

    wintourh007 Active Member

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    If you're unsure what to wear, just ask the wedding coordinator regarding appropriate attire.
     
  20. hyt123

    hyt123 Senior member

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    The more formal one supersedes the other, following the general rule of thumb that it is always better to be over- than under-dressed. However, the hosts' preference trumps both, so again- the best answer is that you really should ask. I would only consider a suit if your hosts' answer is somewhere along of the lines of "We don't care."

    Personally? I'd rather be uncomfortable for 2 minutes on the phone asking them what the dress code is, than uncomfortable from now until the wedding day second-guessing myself, then self-conscious all afternoon and evening when the day finally arrives because I showed up dressed wrong. Ask today so that you have time to get your old tux tailored if needed.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2012

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