Is it ever ok to look through your SO's mail/msg history?

[Eason]

Do you think it's ever acceptable for your SO to look through your call or message history or emails without asking you? (and vice verse of course) What do you think is an appropriate reaction to one's SO looking through their msg history/emails and the like?

 

[justsayno]

what would you do if you switched positions with the SO?

 

[West24]

i dont think it is. if you dont trust them that much, you should either confront them with the reasons why, or break it off. you should never go through other peoples things reguardless of the situation.

 

[sho'nuff]

I agree with all the above. A big part of a relationship is trust and it is a very important part whether you knew this or not.

Better to be open about your concerns than to invade into personal belongings that should remain private for an individual. That is just fair to say the least.

 

[Orsini]

Originally Posted by Eason

Do you think it's ever acceptable for your SO to look through your call or message history or emails without asking you? (and vice verse of course) What do you think is an appropriate reaction to one's SO looking through their msg history/emails and the like?
Riffling someone's private effects is not a proper activity for a gentleman. And it would be insulting to ask.

 

[Dragon]

It doesn`t matter if it`s OK or not. They`re going to look through your mail anyway.

 

[Matt]

uh oh Doug. What'd she find?

 

[tiecollector]

It's only okay if she doesn't find anything incriminating.

 

[VKK3450]

I dont have anything to hide, but I would find it disconcerting if my gf started reading my correspondance.

K

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by tiecollector

It's only okay if she doesn't find anything incriminating.

Sometimes I download incriminating things just so she has something to look at when she looks through the laptop. However, this is a special case: it's not completely my laptop, it was hers, until she ruined it, and since it sat there gathering dust, I refurbished it and now use it regularly. So that is a sticky point where she might claim - well, it's mine, of course I'll crack it open.

Does she log in to my email or phone? No. And I don't check hers either.

 

[rach2jlc]

I don't think it is ever appropriate for either one in the relationship. I don't see what good can ever come of it and it can only make things worse in a relationship that obviously has some trust issues (otherwise, there'd be no question of looking through the other person's private information).

I've never really thought the issue out thoroughly, but it seems to me people look through that stuff hoping to find something... otherwise, why would they do it if they had no suspicions? If they are mistrustful and DON'T find anything, then they might worry that the hidden information is just elsewhere. If they are just doing it to "check up" on you... then you need to get a set of balls and set some boundaries that can't be crossed.

 

[FIHTies]

Interesting how the thread is titled one direction (is it OK if you look through theirs) and then the question is actually reversed, (can they look through yours).

The answer should remain the same but the initial disposition somehow is different.

 

[Joffrey]

No I don't think it's appropriate.

 

[rdawson808]

Originally Posted by Eason

Do you think it's ever acceptable for your SO to look through your call or message history or emails without asking you? (and vice verse of course) What do you think is an appropriate reaction to one's SO looking through their msg history/emails and the like?

Absolutely not. This is a plain violation of one's privacy. My reaction? I hope I would simply ask her to never do it again. If I caught her doing it again, I'm not sure what I would do.

Unless you've been killed and she's looking for evidence that someone sent you threatening texts or e-mails. Then it's okay.

b

 

[JayJay]

Never!