• STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

Is it ever ok to look through your SO's mail/msg history?

Eason

Bicurious Racist
Joined
Feb 20, 2007
Messages
14,670
Reaction score
1,905
Do you think it's ever acceptable for your SO to look through your call or message history or emails without asking you? (and vice verse of course) What do you think is an appropriate reaction to one's SO looking through their msg history/emails and the like?
 

justsayno

Distinguished Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,836
Reaction score
102
what would you do if you switched positions with the SO?
 

West24

Distinguished Member
Joined
Dec 3, 2007
Messages
3,959
Reaction score
11
i dont think it is. if you dont trust them that much, you should either confront them with the reasons why, or break it off. you should never go through other peoples things reguardless of the situation.
 

Orsini

Distinguished Member
Joined
Nov 8, 2007
Messages
1,358
Reaction score
21
Originally Posted by Eason
Do you think it's ever acceptable for your SO to look through your call or message history or emails without asking you? (and vice verse of course) What do you think is an appropriate reaction to one's SO looking through their msg history/emails and the like?
Riffling someone's private effects is not a proper activity for a gentleman.
And it would be insulting to ask.
 

Dragon

Distinguished Member
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
3,203
Reaction score
36
It doesn`t matter if it`s OK or not. They`re going to look through your mail anyway.
 
Joined
Jan 14, 2005
Messages
11,180
Reaction score
116
uh oh Doug. What'd she find?
 

tiecollector

Distinguished Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Messages
7,031
Reaction score
17
It's only okay if she doesn't find anything incriminating.
 

VKK3450

Distinguished Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2004
Messages
3,769
Reaction score
2
I dont have anything to hide, but I would find it disconcerting if my gf started reading my correspondance.

K
 

Thomas

Stylish Dinosaur
Spamminator Moderator
Joined
Jul 25, 2006
Messages
29,128
Reaction score
1,318
Originally Posted by tiecollector
It's only okay if she doesn't find anything incriminating.

Sometimes I download incriminating things just so she has something to look at when she looks through the laptop. However, this is a special case: it's not completely my laptop, it was hers, until she ruined it, and since it sat there gathering dust, I refurbished it and now use it regularly. So that is a sticky point where she might claim - well, it's mine, of course I'll crack it open.

Does she log in to my email or phone? No. And I don't check hers either.
 

rach2jlc

Prof. Fabulous
Dubiously Honored
Joined
Mar 14, 2006
Messages
15,013
Reaction score
1,101
I don't think it is ever appropriate for either one in the relationship. I don't see what good can ever come of it and it can only make things worse in a relationship that obviously has some trust issues (otherwise, there'd be no question of looking through the other person's private information).

I've never really thought the issue out thoroughly, but it seems to me people look through that stuff hoping to find something... otherwise, why would they do it if they had no suspicions? If they are mistrustful and DON'T find anything, then they might worry that the hidden information is just elsewhere. If they are just doing it to "check up" on you... then you need to get a set of balls and set some boundaries that can't be crossed.
 

FIHTies

Distinguished Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2004
Messages
2,959
Reaction score
4
Interesting how the thread is titled one direction (is it OK if you look through theirs) and then the question is actually reversed, (can they look through yours).

The answer should remain the same but the initial disposition somehow is different.
 

rdawson808

Distinguished Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2005
Messages
4,226
Reaction score
3
Originally Posted by Eason
Do you think it's ever acceptable for your SO to look through your call or message history or emails without asking you? (and vice verse of course) What do you think is an appropriate reaction to one's SO looking through their msg history/emails and the like?

Absolutely not. This is a plain violation of one's privacy. My reaction? I hope I would simply ask her to never do it again. If I caught her doing it again, I'm not sure what I would do.

Unless you've been killed and she's looking for evidence that someone sent you threatening texts or e-mails. Then it's okay.

b
 

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by

Featured Sponsor

How wide do you like your leg opening on your trousers?

  • 7”

    Votes: 75 16.8%
  • 7.5”

    Votes: 148 33.1%
  • 8”

    Votes: 133 29.8%
  • 8.5”

    Votes: 50 11.2%
  • 9”

    Votes: 20 4.5%
  • 9.5”

    Votes: 9 2.0%
  • 10”

    Votes: 3 0.7%
  • 10.5”

    Votes: 9 2.0%

Related Threads

Forum statistics

Threads
433,133
Messages
9,305,579
Members
195,299
Latest member
shawamela6
Top