I suck at college.

[Black Label]

Hey, first post. I went to a party the other night and there were tons of girls there. I didn't really drink that much (only took a few sips). I kind of bummed around at the party and didn't really talk to anyone at all. Most of the girls were in a group of friends or chilling in the rooms. I didn't really see where things were going so I just left. should I go up to the girls I see and just try to start a conversation?

 

[cadillac37]

I believe you have come to the right place.

 

[why]

Rock out with ********* out.

 

[Aaron]

Did you come to the party alone? If you came with friends get them to introduce you to their friends (boy or girl). You're not going to sleep with every girl that you talk to so just get used to talking to people.

 

[kb798]

all it takes is "hi I'm __________. what's your name?"

 

[Bradford]

Originally Posted by Black Label

should I go up to the girls I see and just try to start a conversation?

Yes. A lot of them are new to college and just as nervous as you. Make a joke out of it. Walk up to the group of girls and introduce yourself. Start a conversation about anything.

Did you talk to girls in high school? They really haven't changed.

 

[Don Carlos]

Originally Posted by Black Label

I didn't really drink that much (only took a few sips).

This was your first mistake. College is about drinking and loosening up. I'm not suggesting you get black-out drunk every party you go to (although that's fun, too!). But you need to develop the right mindset. You're at a party. You want to have fun and be a fun person to talk to. Approaching girls before loosening up a bit is putting the cart before the horse. You need to be in the right frame of mind before you're going to be an interesting person to talk to.

The goal is not to be artificial, stuffy, awkward, or stiff when talking to girls. And that's 99% mental. Kick back and have a few beers with friends, get into the right mood, and then start talking to chicks.

 

[ozymandias]

Originally Posted by Arrogant Bastard

This was your first mistake. College is about drinking and loosening up. I'm not suggesting you get black-out drunk every party you go to (although that's fun, too!). But you need to develop the right mindset. You're at a party. You want to have fun and be a fun person to talk to. Approaching girls before loosening up a bit is putting the cart before the horse. You need to be in the right frame of mind before you're going to be an interesting person to talk to.

The goal is not to be artificial, stuffy, awkward, or stiff when talking to girls. And that's 99% mental. Kick back and have a few beers with friends, get into the right mood, and then start talking to chicks.

Drinking to get confidence is a horrible mindset, it's something you need to do on your own. And there's really nothing easier than to go up to a bunch of drunken college girls in September.

On another note before you approach you must: wear a purple outfit, neg the target using push-pull, and in the first 5 minutes mention that you are gay (it won't matter when they like you)

-A

 

[inq89]

I suck at the whole social thing too. Never been much into drinking but I'm trying to break out of it. I have always been an introvert, which sucks because I actually do enjoy having a good time. But I've never been comfortable being myself in college, and I closed up and just concentrated in my first two years to get prerequisites to get into a grad program, and during that time I never "found myself" and let loose. Never found a group of guys to hang out with and am now regretting it. Moral of the story: start early and meet people. Drinking will most likely be involved but it does't have to consume you. It gets harder as the years progress if you don't have that social foundation. Join a frat.

 

[Big Pun]

Just start talking to random people everywhere, be it some 80 year old cashier at Wally Mart or whatever. Not really sure how to give advice in these types of topics as I've never been in that position.

 

[phildo]

I hear ecstasy is good for social situations.

 

[impolyt_one]

give in and buy the xbox now. Come back to Styleforum in 4-5 years, it's a natural progression.

 

[dfagdfsh]

yes go up and talk to people. wtf? find out how they found out about the party, who they know, etc... it's not that hard...

 

[Connemara]

One time I was at a party and bumped into some chick. We looked at each other and then started to make out, and 5 minutes later I was bangin' her. True story.

If I can do it, anyone can. Even you broseph.

 

[samblau]

I was invited a BBQ in Westchester last night...freaked the hell out of me, my friends now have houses and kids and European sedans/minivans and the BBQ was over at 9...the time when I would usually first consider going out on a Sat...anyway, on the Metro North ride back I was surrounded by such DB's and low confidence/good (and a few great) looking girls drinking 40 oz Bud Lights they bought right after getting dropped off in daddy's Beemer/Range Rover. All they could discuss (argue over) is which crappy Murray Hill bar (that a "friend owned") they could go to, which "*****" or "asshole" they would fight and how drunk they would be when karaoke started It occurred to me that I used to want to be like these kids.

Anyway, with only a few years on these kids, I seriously considered walking over to the girls are just dominating...playing the lawyer card, talking about my awesome apartment, all the great bars I know. These were girls that as little as 4 years ago I could not even say "hi" too. The point is, you are all young and inexperienced in college. It is so much better to make your mistakes now as opposed to people like me, and many others on SF, who did not come out of our shells until later in life. Half of the imbeciles that win up with the hot chicks do so simply because they have the confidence to initiate a conversation. Have a drink (although I strongly disagree with getting black out drunk, it sucks), put on a decent outfit, walk up to a pretty girl confidently, say hello and take it from there. If she says no...who cares! Its college...there are plenty more, and if I recall correctly, a severe shortage of decent guys.