I suck at college.

[stylo 9000]

Originally Posted by tagutcow

Well I am not going, nor have ever gone to college, so those aren't exactly available topics of conversation for me. It was never my intention to hijack this thread, I just empathize quite a bit with the OP. Even when describing approaching women as some sort of protocol, people always make the actual conversation part seem trivial. "If she makes eye contact with you three times, go up and start a conversation. Voila!" Such people also seem to assume that confidence is the only possible holdup. I can confidently go up to people and ask their names all day long. Hell, I've even gone up to strange woman and confidently asked them for their phone numbers. I cannot, however, confidently approach a person with the intention of starting a conversation when I have absolutely nothing to talk about.
You have thoughts floating around your head all day. Phrased correctly, these thoughts can make for very interesting conversation. I am convinced that 90% of being social is being open enough to decide that everyone cares what you're saying. Not to say talk only about yourself, or blather on w/o feedback, but everyone has a unique angle on life. Last year I used to have the problem of paying too much attention to what other people were doing/saying. Are they looking at the person speaking and not me? They're ignoring me! This year I don't give a ****. And this is different from saying I don't care; I legitimately don't place any value on these conversations. And subsequently these conversations have much more value, and I'm much happier overall. It's weird. I also drink much more often this year

 

[Black Label]

Originally Posted by Aaron

Did you come to the party alone? If you came with friends get them to introduce you to their friends (boy or girl). You're not going to sleep with every girl that you talk to so just get used to talking to people.

I went with a friend.

 

[HgaleK]

Freshman here too. I learned most of this in high school, but this applies more so in college.

-Drink whatever it takes to get rid of the shakes without getting stupid. 2-3 drinks if you're new to the game. You'll get used to it eventually and can cut this part out, but sometimes it takes a bit of liquid courage to get you in the right direction.
-Smile when you introduce yourself. People get weird faces when they're nervous.
-If they're (the group of ladies) in a break of conversation, introduce. Name, major, city. Ask for hers/theirs. Then move on to interest, or "why this school", etc.
-If there is music or dancing, ask one of them to dance. Get a wingman if you need it. Two easy ones here. 1) Hold out your hand, winning smile, and then say that you can't stand to see a pretty girl by herself on the floor. 2) Hand, smile, "Would you like to dance". Very few girls will say no- just careful on the grinding if you don't know their personal take on it. Ask the questions while dancing if you can. Smile, laugh, make jokes
-If you don't dance, learn/try. Don't be a *****.
-Ask for her number!!! They will give it to you almost every time. Drop her a text a couple of days later. Not the next day creeper.
-Utilize the wing man at every possible opportunity.
-Be confident
-Get in shape. If you look good, you have minimal required effort.
-Have fun with it. It's really obvious when someone is having a ****** time, and no one wants to be dragged down.

 

[Biscotti]

You don't have to drink...

and the whole wait x amount of days before calling someone you met is ******* stupid.

 

[HgaleK]

Originally Posted by Biscotti

You don't have to drink...

and the whole wait x amount of days before calling someone you met is ******* stupid.

Dropping someone a line after the next day after you met that at a party makes you look really clingy/creepy. You've never heard a girl ***** about the guy that she met the other night who won't leave her alone? People need a bit of space, and giving them a day isn't going to hurt anything.

 

[HORNS]

 

[jmolt]

Here's just about every situation I can think of that works for me
- If you're in a smaller setting try to start some drinking games (flipcup, card games, etc. basically anything but beer pong) getting girls drunk generally makes them more comfortable with new people and less likely to gossip the whole night with their girlfriends, and they're more likely to take shots or drink when it is a competition or with somebody
- be the crazy guy that can dance by himself or do something funny, but the key is having everybody laugh with you not at you, be original not goofy
- speak loudly, it puts off the impression that you are confident and dominant
- don't be overly nice, and as cliche as it gets, girls really do go for bad guys especially when it involves drinking
Lastly, most girls in college are pretty open to meeting new people unless you come off as a creeper or you are just really annoying.

 

[Joffrey]

Don't act out of your nature. Therefore, no goof ball **** if you are normally reserved. It's fine to be the quiet type, but not the stand in a corner quiet type. Learn how to approach people: guys and girls, get a conversation started and have fun with the people. Dancing by yourself doing stupid **** will make people laugh and have fun AT you.

 

[NorCal]

Originally Posted by GrillinFool

One more thing to realize about women. At any given moment, at any time of the day, any day of the week they would rather be bent over a couch getting pounded from behind than doing whatever it is they are doing. They act aloof and unattainable because that's what the woman's handbook says they should do. But in reality they are more insecure than you and think about ********** just as often as you do, they just do it in a more subtle manner.

The best advice ever given on SF.

 

[Marbles29]

Originally Posted by HgaleK

Freshman here too. I learned most of this in high school, but this applies more so in college. -Drink whatever it takes to get rid of the shakes without getting stupid. 2-3 drinks if you're new to the game. You'll get used to it eventually and can cut this part out, but sometimes it takes a bit of liquid courage to get you in the right direction. -Smile when you introduce yourself. People get weird faces when they're nervous. -If they're (the group of ladies) in a break of conversation, introduce. Name, major, city. Ask for hers/theirs. Then move on to interest, or "why this school", etc. -If there is music or dancing, ask one of them to dance. Get a wingman if you need it. Two easy ones here. 1) Hold out your hand, winning smile, and then say that you can't stand to see a pretty girl by herself on the floor. 2) Hand, smile, "Would you like to dance". Very few girls will say no- just careful on the grinding if you don't know their personal take on it. Ask the questions while dancing if you can. Smile, laugh, make jokes -If you don't dance, learn/try. Don't be a *****. -Ask for her number!!! They will give it to you almost every time. Drop her a text a couple of days later. Not the next day creeper. -Utilize the wing man at every possible opportunity. -Be confident -Get in shape. If you look good, you have minimal required effort. -Have fun with it. It's really obvious when someone is having a ****** time, and no one wants to be dragged down.
Psh...I have actually asked out hundreds of women, and the majority of them did not give me their number....the ones that did, had shown interest beforehand...Also, they may not remember and/or be interested two days after meeting you under the influence.

 

[Nereis]

Making sure the numbers you get result in something is a skill in itself. I have more success with getting the thing to stick once I get the conversation going to odd topics.

 

[GrillinFool]

Originally Posted by jmolt

Here's just about every situation I can think of that works for me
- If you're in a smaller setting try to start some drinking games (flipcup, card games, etc. basically anything but beer pong) getting girls drunk generally makes them more comfortable with new people and less likely to gossip the whole night with their girlfriends, and they're more likely to take shots or drink when it is a competition or with somebody
- be the crazy guy that can dance by himself or do something funny, but the key is having everybody laugh with you not at you, be original not goofy
- speak loudly, it puts off the impression that you are confident and dominant
- don't be overly nice, and as cliche as it gets, girls really do go for bad guys especially when it involves drinking
Lastly, most girls in college are pretty open to meeting new people unless you come off as a creeper or you are just really annoying.

Love the other advice but not this item. Not everyone can pull that off. Takes a certain personality to be this guy. If you are not that personality you go from just a guy at the party to the totally weird guy at the party. Take caution here...

 

[Joffrey]

Originally Posted by GrillinFool

Love the other advice but not this item. Not everyone can pull that off. Takes a certain personality to be this guy. If you are not that personality you go from just a guy at the party to the totally weird guy at the party. Take caution here...

Like I said, you either have it or you don't. Don't fake it. The old cliche applies here, be yourself. Just make an effort to chat with people and charm them a little.

 

[dfagdfsh]

be the dude who buys a lot of weed and smokes people out

 

[Marbles29]

Yeah, there was a college bar I used to go to and one of the regulars was this guy that always danced by himself, you could tell by the way he danced that he was socially inhibited, which garnered nothing but derision. I get the impresssion the OP is not an extrovert.