--i need your help--

[T.M.]

I have a huge problem: I'm not able to talk to the fine ladies when I go the club. I'm 18-years-old and I already had some nice girlfriends, a lot of my peers say that I look very good and that I could be a model or an actor, and I'm also satisfied with my outward appearance, BUT I'm still very shy when it comes down to holla at a girl. Last Saturday I was at a very nice location, a huge club with 3 floors, good music, and a lot of hot girls. A lot of chicks where looking at me, flirting with me, but at the end I was too stupid to go to one of them and start talking to her. I just don't know what I should say in that situation.? Everything seems to sound so obvious and childish. Should I just be polite and introduce myself? Should I ask her if she wants a drink? Should I dance with her? What should I do??? What do the women wanna hear? Should I be aggressive or shy? Should I also talk to her even when I'm not sure if she likes me? Maybe you don't have that problem, but for me it's very depressing. I see all these nice girls and afterwards I'm always asking myself why I didn't talk to them.? It's time for me to step up in the place... Well, maybe you have a helpful advice for me. I truly appreciate every input. Thank You. Best Regards, T.M. P.S.: I'm sorry for my bad English... I'm from Italy.

 

[PeterMetro]

Confidence is a funny thing - if you don' have it, it's harder to get. However, I agree that the initial approach is the toughest.

Here's what I do: smile and say hello. New? Complicated? No, and that's really the point. I do it all the time, at the laundromat, clubs, bars, supermarket, anywhere. It's not slimy, it's not a come-on, it's just saying hello. You'll be surprised by what it can lead to.

 

[parsonsdb]

^^ yep

 

[Mike C.]

You're in the wrong forum, but by all means, welcome here. Try this site for all the answers to your questions and more. www.sosuave.com First read the Don Juan Bible at: Don Juan Bible

 

[Mike C.]

Sorry, I forgot to answer your question. Here it is....

Should I just be polite and introduce myself?

   Yes. How else are you going to meet them.  You must do something to capture their interest initially. Women in clubs have their b*tch shields on, so you must do/say something to penetrate that and grab their interest. Usually I try and make them laugh.

Should I ask her if she wants a drink?

 Absoultely not... Do you buy friends? No; then don't by girlfriends. If she asks you to buy her a drink, come up with a wise-ass reply (to put her in her place for being so bold, but don't be rude, make it funny so you both laugh) or walk away.    A fun thing to do is asking a girl to buy you a drink. She will be completely taken back; it's funny to see what happens. Â

Should I dance with her?

 Yes, most girls love to dance and love guys who dance. It's a good opportunity to losen things up.

What do the women wanna hear?

 Women want a guy who will hold their interest, who at the same time are confident.  Cocky + Funny is good rule while in conversation.

Should I be aggressive or shy?

  Aggressive. Shy guys don't get laid. Try to be more outgoing and friendly.

Should I also talk to her even when I'm not sure if she likes me?

  Yes.  However, you must always assume she likes you. This shows confidence, which women find attractive. Try not to be intimidated by women. Think about the guy you know who gets the most girls. Is he shy and timid, does he assume girls don't want to talk to him?

P.S.: I'm sorry for my bad English... I'm from Italy.

  I'm currently studying abroad in Firenze. Where are you? Also, I feel bad for you, as I've seen, most Italian men have above average looks and are EXREMELY aggressive when approaching women. Then again Italian women are gorgeous, so I guess it balances out. Good luck though

 

[T.M.]

@ PeterMetro: Thanx for your help... I will have to try it, it doesn't sound too difficult.

@ Mike C.: Thank you very much for all your help and input. Your tip with the DJ Bible and the DJ discussion board sounds very interesting, I will make sure to check it out as soon as possible. Next Saturday I will be more aggressive and very confident, no doubt about it. Maybe one day (with enough practise) I will be as successful as you or as Don Juan. BTW: I was born in Italy, but right now I'm living in Hamburg, Germany. They have some fine ladies over here too... hopefully one of them will be mine very soon. I will holla back and let you know if I met any nice girls.