I keep buying clothes I think I like, a few months later I hate them

[kretnuhk]

I've been trying to 'revamp' my wardrobe for months now. I thought I was over all my jeans and t-shirts so I slowly started replacing them with trousers, more dressy style pants, and more button down shirts, kind of a dark academia vibe. Now I've accumulated more clothing I don't like. I can only afford 2-3 pieces every two weeks or so. I have tons of jeans that don't fit, pants that feel too dressy. I've been tucking my t-shirts into dressy pants and I just feel so stupid. I have one belt, and a bunch of sneakers that feel too sporty. I don't feel like I'm dressing like myself, I feel like I'm trying to imitate someone and doing a bad job. I feel like I need to start over, but I can't just get rid of all my clothes, I need something. Should I build a capsule wardrobe? What should I do?

 

[TheIronDandy]

I think you should take a step back and ask yourself what you are trying to achieve, and why? You seem to want to dress more formally, but why? Did the dark academia vipe speak to you, or did that just seem like the thing right now?

In my personal experience, people try to change up their style for two reasons: internal (they want to see themselves differently - changing style is part of changing the self) and external (they want others to see them differently - this is often the case when people move into a different career with different expectations). What's driving your change?

 

[The Noble Dandy]

One of the first things that I tell my clients at the beginning of their style journey, is that they should find the outfits that they like rather than the clothes. That is one of the reasons why they end up purchasing clothes that they have no idea how to wear. Of course, that's not that easy when you don't know a lot about style, but this is where a good style consultant can help you. The one that really knows what he's doing by understanding your personality, body type, and other details that allow him not only to select the right clothes for his client but also explain to him how to do that by himself. TLDR: if you really want to learn how to dress well, find a good style consultant.

 

[Halidecayci]

I've been trying to 'revamp' my wardrobe for months now. I thought I was over all my jeans and t-shirts so I slowly started replacing them with trousers, more dressy style pants, and more button down shirts, kind of a dark academia vibe. Now I've accumulated more clothing I don't like. I can only afford 2-3 pieces every two weeks or so. I have tons of jeans that don't fit, pants that feel too dressy. I've been tucking my t-shirts into dressy pants and I just feel so stupid. I have one belt, and a bunch of sneakers that feel too sporty. I don't feel like I'm dressing like myself, I feel like I'm trying to imitate someone and doing a bad job. I feel like I need to start over, but I can't just get rid of all my clothes, I need something. Should I build a capsule wardrobe? What should I do?

I think you should decide your style first. Visit popular platforms to find out which style fits your physics. Go to Pinterest, Reddit and magazine sites. There are limitless options. After that, start buying goods

 

[KOz]

TheIronDandy nailed it - what's the end goal of these revamps? Perhaps take some time to self-reflect and consider who you are and what you want to say with the clothes that you wear. Consider if you're dressing the way you do to express yourself, be pragmatic, appease others, or anything else.

 

[kretnuhk]

TheIronDandy nailed it - what's the end goal of these revamps? Perhaps take some time to self-reflect and consider who you are and what you want to say with the clothes that you wear. Consider if you're dressing the way you do to express yourself, be pragmatic, appease others, or anything else.

I am trying to dress to express myself

 

[kretnuhk]

I think you should decide your style first. Visit popular platforms to find out which style fits your physics. Go to Pinterest, Reddit and magazine sites. There are limitless options. After that, start buying goods

I worry I will make the same mistake twice. As I said, I was buying things because I liked the "dark academia" style. But well for one, the items I bought were not as close to that style as they should have been. And two, I don't know if I like that style on me or just appreciate it on others

 

[kretnuhk]

One of the first things that I tell my clients at the beginning of their style journey, is that they should find the outfits that they like rather than the clothes. That is one of the reasons why they end up purchasing clothes that they have no idea how to wear. Of course, that's not that easy when you don't know a lot about style, but this is where a good style consultant can help you. The one that really knows what he's doing by understanding your personality, body type, and other details that allow him not only to select the right clothes for his client but also explain to him how to do that by himself. TLDR: if you really want to learn how to dress well, find a good style consultant.

I completely agree with this. Building outfits is key, but that also takes time. Funny thing, I found a style consultant a few months ago who stopped communicating with me. I've looked for others, but most are completely out of my budget.

 

[40s_wardrobe]

I feel your pain, the past two years I have been going through something similar. I regret is not being a bit more patient and taking my time to find what I like. The clothing that you find yourself reaching for in the morning, over the things that you think you should like.

 

[blackcheer]

I've been trying to 'revamp' my wardrobe for months now. I thought I was over all my jeans and t-shirts so I slowly started replacing them with trousers, more dressy style pants, and more button down shirts, kind of a dark academia vibe. Now I've accumulated more clothing I don't like. I can only afford 2-3 pieces every two weeks or so. I have tons of jeans that don't fit, pants that feel too dressy. I've been tucking my t-shirts into dressy pants and I just feel so stupid. I have one belt, and a bunch of sneakers that feel too sporty. I don't feel like I'm dressing like myself, I feel like I'm trying to imitate someone and doing a bad job. I feel like I need to start over, but I can't just get rid of all my clothes, I need something. Should I build a capsule wardrobe? What should I do?

Redistribute your wealth. Go see a therapist.

 

[cottontop]

Get a girlfriend.

 

[symphvaria]

Dressing yourself according to a now dead Pinterest trend from 5 years ago may not be the most conducive way to build a wardrobe with long lasting appeal.

 

[40s_wardrobe]

Aww, I can't believe more people don't empathize with the angst of wanting to put more effort into how one dresses, and the frustration of not knowing how to articulate that.

 

[MBrianT]

What if the girlfriend has no style?

Get a girlfriend

 

[simj]

I've been trying to 'revamp' my wardrobe for months now. I thought I was over all my jeans and t-shirts so I slowly started replacing them with trousers, more dressy style pants, and more button down shirts, kind of a dark academia vibe. Now I've accumulated more clothing I don't like. I can only afford 2-3 pieces every two weeks or so. I have tons of jeans that don't fit, pants that feel too dressy. I've been tucking my t-shirts into dressy pants and I just feel so stupid. I have one belt, and a bunch of sneakers that feel too sporty. I don't feel like I'm dressing like myself, I feel like I'm trying to imitate someone and doing a bad job. I feel like I need to start over, but I can't just get rid of all my clothes, I need something. Should I build a capsule wardrobe? What should I do?

There's more to unpack here, no pun intended, than can be gleaned from the details in your post. Things like age, stage, current and intended circumstances are just for starters and it also depends if you are simply having a wardrobe malfunction or if this is burning a sizeable hole in your finances for zero return on this investment, which if the former time will likely resolve.

If it's more the latter, you could source online courses or hire a consultant to work with you. Courses usually entail more time and trial and error to build confidence and a style consultant would give you immediate results with some form of work outside of sessions, as developing style consciousness does usually take time.