I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Matt, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. spb_lady

    spb_lady Senior member

    Messages:
    364
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2010
    Location:
    HCMC, Vietnam
    Or just expatriating her tampons from your bathroom closet?

    [​IMG]
     


  2. bbhewee

    bbhewee Senior member

    Messages:
    585
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2010
    Sorry to hear about that dude.
    Sometimes I feel women are much better at looking after their own interest than we are. My last gf left in somewhat similar circumstances (she needed time on her own to figure things out, she said, though I'm not an idiot and am well aware of what that entails).

    But I'm 6 months down the line now. I do miss her some days more than others. But I just know I'll wake up one day, and I'll be ok eventually. Fact is, there isn't just one woman for you in the world.

    Oh and on the bright side, I can sleep with three different girls in a week and NOBODY looks down on it. And my tortured soul makes me more attractive.
     


  3. MarkI

    MarkI Senior member

    Messages:
    2,693
    Likes Received:
    1,086
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    This really isnt easy.

    Now she says she wants a "seperation" she needs some space to get her thoughts together, and she still loves me, and cares about me, and says that she wants to be with me, except that right now she cant.

    So what the fuck? Am I supposed to sit here like a bump on a log, and wait for her to come back, or make up her mind? Or should I just tell her to fuck off, and stop playing games with me, if she wants to be with me, then to be with me.
     


  4. deadly7

    deadly7 Senior member

    Messages:
    3,145
    Likes Received:
    194
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2010
    Or should I just tell her to fuck off, and stop playing games with me, if she wants to be with me, then to be with me.

    Yes, yes, and she doesn't - she's just scared that she won't find anyone else.
     


  5. ysc

    ysc Senior member

    Messages:
    2,301
    Likes Received:
    6
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2008
    Location:
    London
    Now she says she wants a "seperation" she needs some space to get her thoughts together, and she still loves me, and cares about me, and says that she wants to be with me, except that right now she cant. So what the fuck? Am I supposed to sit here like a bump on a log, and wait for her to come back, or make up her mind? Or should I just tell her to fuck off, and stop playing games with me, if she wants to be with me, then to be with me.
    What all that means is she cares about you just enough that she doesn't want to feel guilty for hurting your feelings by telling you it is over, but it is over. Don't wait around. If x months down the line she has her shit together and wants to be with you and you are single and want to give it another go then by all means, but don't wait expecting that to happen. I sort of did that for a while, it was a pretty bad time. Much better to just accept it is over.
     


  6. Matt

    Matt ex-m@Triate

    Messages:
    11,179
    Likes Received:
    114
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
    Or should I just tell her to fuck off, and stop playing games with me, if she wants to be with me, then to be with me.
    close.

    Tell her that you have had a lot of time to think in the past few days, and you have come to agree with her. You are better off apart. Wish her well. Then sit back and wait.

    There are two options.

    1. she feels dumped and comes running back as she ponders Life Without Him and 'omigodwhathaveidone?'. This is kind of what you want.
    2. she doesn't, in which case you are slightly better off than you are now, as at least she isn't stringing your ass along.

    Either way, leave out the victim Quit Playing Games With My Heart stuff from your spiel.
     


  7. acecow

    acecow Senior member

    Messages:
    4,135
    Likes Received:
    680
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2009
    Location:
    Not Manhattan, unfortunately
    close.

    Tell her that you have had a lot of time to think in the past few days, and you have come to agree with her. You are better off apart. Wish her well. Then sit back and wait.

    There are two options.

    1. she feels dumped and comes running back as she ponders Life Without Him and 'omigodwhathaveidone?'. This is kind of what you want.
    2. she doesn't, in which case you are slightly better off than you are now, as at least she isn't stringing your ass along.

    Either way, leave out the victim Quit Playing Games With My Heart stuff from your spiel.


    +1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
     


  8. APK

    APK Senior member

    Messages:
    7,805
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2008
    Location:
    MI
    Breaking up is like trying to tip over a coke machine; you can't do it in one push, you have to rock it back and forth a couple of times. - Jerry Seinfeld

    This is probably what's happening right now. Most people, even those who know deep down that they want to end a relationship, start second-guessing themselves once the idea of splitting has been addressed. That's generally because unless you were a total piece of shit the entire relationship, the other person starts considering the quality aspects of the person they're severing ties with.

    What she's asking you right now, intentionally or not, is for you to sit pat while she figures things out. That's unfair to you, especially since history suggests she'll ultimately stick with her original decision to split.
     


  9. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

    Messages:
    762
    Likes Received:
    13
    Joined:
    May 24, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Ditto everyone ahead of me. She's the one who left; if she can't handle being apart, that's her problem alone. If she wants to share relationship problems, she has to be in the relationship.
     


  10. MarkI

    MarkI Senior member

    Messages:
    2,693
    Likes Received:
    1,086
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    close. Tell her that you have had a lot of time to think in the past few days, and you have come to agree with her. You are better off apart. Wish her well. Then sit back and wait. There are two options. 1. she feels dumped and comes running back as she ponders Life Without Him and 'omigodwhathaveidone?'. This is kind of what you want. 2. she doesn't, in which case you are slightly better off than you are now, as at least she isn't stringing your ass along. Either way, leave out the victim Quit Playing Games With My Heart stuff from your spiel.
    And the perilous saga of Mark continues. I'm taking these next couple of days off, for myself. Going to visit my best friend in Philadelphia, gonna drink, party...and throughout all of this consider myself single, and tell myself she aint coming back. We spoke today, she still continues with all the same shit... she still wants her time apart, i'll give her that. We agreed on Sunday night to meet up, and go from there. I am not telling myself we are getting back together. She knows that if she leaves, I am not coming back, nor will I just sit here and wait for her any longer. I told her that if she still really loves me, still cares, we can work it out together. If she doesnt realize that; I am out. She knows she'll never speak to me again, etc. I will erase her from my life. So yeah. By the way, shout out to all you guys, definitely feels good to have an outlet like this. Appreciated.
     


  11. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

    Messages:
    11,479
    Likes Received:
    778
    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    I find humor helpful in these things, because the default is head-holding drama. Next time you talk, and she asks you what you've been up to, say something like "Oh, just updating my jdate profile." It will help diffuse the awkwardness, or at least it has for me in the past. In any event, good luck.
     


  12. Matt

    Matt ex-m@Triate

    Messages:
    11,179
    Likes Received:
    114
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
    "do you know how hard it is to get that many hookers to shut up when they are locked in the trunk of your car?"
     


  13. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

    Messages:
    33,652
    Likes Received:
    857
    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    "do you know how hard it is to get that many hookers to shut up when they are locked in the trunk of your car?"

    facebooked
     


  14. Smithman

    Smithman Member

    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Location:
    England, Southampton
    I find humor helpful in these things, because the default is head-holding drama. Next time you talk, and she asks you what you've been up to, say something like "Oh, just updating my jdate profile." It will help diffuse the awkwardness, or at least it has for me in the past. In any event, good luck.

    Agreed, humor does help and the one you have is quite good. Really and I don't mean to be sarcastic. But let's assume for one seconds that all of us here actually takes your advice into consideration and decides to break the awkwardness with that line, and it so happen, since I am pretty sure that most of us here live in the same country and even city or street, to date the same girl and use that same line. Wouldn't that be even more awkward?
     


  15. Matt

    Matt ex-m@Triate

    Messages:
    11,179
    Likes Received:
    114
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
    Agreed, humor does help and the one you have is quite good. Really and I don't mean to be sarcastic. But let's assume for one seconds that all of us here actually takes your advice into consideration and decides to break the awkwardness with that line, and it so happen, since I am pretty sure that most of us here live in the same country and even city or street, to date the same girl and use that same line. Wouldn't that be even more awkward?
    you had me at hello (but everything else confused me)
     


Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by