I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Matt, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. fuji

    fuji Senior member

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    didn't you just say she's on prozac?

    Yeah, its made her more calm and much more happy, which is why I say she's in a normal mental state, she's not crying or screaming at me any more, she just sits there looking high as fuck. I don't see her trying to hurt me, she's pretty useless and isn't really capable of doing anything, she just sits in her room all day drinking wine and watching tv on her laptop and not going to college. I've already met up with her dad who said he wanted to kill me, he's decided he likes me now because I make his daughter happy and because I wasn't really intimidated when he described pouring acid into some womens eye, it was a pretty grim talk.
     
  2. randomkoreandude

    randomkoreandude Senior member

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    so ive been with this girl for 9 months now and i think we are pretty serious. everything is fine. we get along and all is well. we live together and do pretty much everything together. wish we had more "sleepy" time but probably more of a law school/stress issue.

    anyway problem is shes 3L (im still a 2L). she accepted an offer to go to big west coast firm. I have a offer at a diff firm here in DC. she has no start date yet but due to economy and fact she has to pass bar, likely start date is jan 2012 meaning she will be here in dc. i wont grad till may 2012.

    both firms have offices at other city ... but probably have to devote 2-3 years before putting in for a transfer

    we "kind of" discussed what we would do but it never is discussed fully and signs look like it will end just cuz of distance and busy shcedules due to being new associates. so should i cut it off now/relatively soon so that it doesnt get more serious? is it bad for me to stay in until the inevitable? in any other circumstance we would stay together and possibly marry (although both of us are young 25 under) ... am i worrying over nothing and just let it happen? am i being stupid for wanting to end now before we gets hurt?
     
  3. APK

    APK Senior member

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    Am I reading it correctly that if you could put in for a transfer to where she works, it'd be two or three years? Meaning you'd have to do the long distance thing for that long?

    If that's the case, then it might be smart to break it off now. Even if you are both convinced that this is a relationship that could lead to something more serious such as marriage, you're both young enough where the distance and new experiences may lead to one of you realizing you aren't ready or willing to settle into such a serious commitment.
     
  4. randomkoreandude

    randomkoreandude Senior member

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    i was afraid of this answer ... probably shouldnt have asked haha.

    but yeah 2-3 years would be long distance after 2012. i think the only reason why we havent broken it off is its good/great now that we are together and i guess the hope is that by jan 2012 when she moves, we will have a close to 2 year under our belt to weather that long distance storm. maybe being too young and bright eyed...
     
  5. APK

    APK Senior member

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    It's a shitty situation to have a relationship end for reasons that are outside of either person's control. Finding a compatible partner can be difficult enough if you've got a brain in your skull, so finding someone who seems right and then having that slip away can be outright devastating.

    Full disclosure: As I'm sure I've mentioned here, I had the relationship I thought was going to lead to marriage end after she spent a summer interning in NYC and realized that's where she wanted to be. She never admitted it, but I know that played a big part in her breaking things off after she got back. We were in a similar spot as you are now, in that we were more or less living together and were talking about getting our own place within a year.

    And even if her decision to break things off wasn't influenced by her time in NYC, there's still the element of another possibility I mentioned earlier: That what she thought she wanted (me) changed over the course of time.
     
  6. Teger

    Teger Senior member

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    I've been dating a girl for like 6 months now and I think the relationship is coming to an end. She's graduating this semester and moving back home (an hour away), and we talked about it tonight and she was basically like "why would we continue this." Pretty upsetting. This girl has been a whirlwind of psychological issues, but for some reason I feel really attached and would try to make things work (I graduate after next semester so not the biggest 'forever' gap). I keep getting mixed signals - on one hand she was pretty emphatic about wanting to not continue things in a few weeks, but when I said maybe we should just end things now she was like 'no no'. Then she explained that she wasn't my type, I wasn't attracted to her. This pissed me off so I ended up showing a picture of an ex to her ("see you are on my type") and now she's sitting in bed angry at me, and brought up how that girl is better looking than her, etc. I replied with 'why do you care?' Ugh, drama. Anyway the prospect of this ending leaves me sad [​IMG]
     
  7. APK

    APK Senior member

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    Please refer to my series of posts many pages back about my buddy's whirlwind relationship with a girl with similar, albeit more extreme, issues. Even if the relationship continues, that shit doesn't go away.

    I dated someone who was constantly harping on her weight (and rightfully so, since she let herself balloon a couple months after we started dating), but she just made excuses for the situation. She wasn't interested in correcting them. She'd walk on a treadmill once in a while or eat some pretend health food among lots of comfort food. And shit, god help me if an attractive girl was around. Nothing ramps up the venom of an insecure person like the presence of a more aesthetically pleasing member of their gender.
     
  8. randallr

    randallr Senior member

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    I've been dating a girl for like 6 months now and I think the relationship is coming to an end. She's graduating this semester and moving back home (an hour away), and we talked about it tonight and she was basically like "why would we continue this." Pretty upsetting. This girl has been a whirlwind of psychological issues, but for some reason I feel really attached and would try to make things work (I graduate after next semester so not the biggest 'forever' gap). I keep getting mixed signals - on one hand she was pretty emphatic about wanting to not continue things in a few weeks, but when I said maybe we should just end things now she was like 'no no'. Then she explained that she wasn't my type, I wasn't attracted to her. This pissed me off so I ended up showing a picture of an ex to her ("see you are on my type") and now she's sitting in bed angry at me, and brought up how that girl is better looking than her, etc. I replied with 'why do you care?'

    Ugh, drama.

    Anyway the prospect of this ending leaves me sad [​IMG]


    I never pegged you for a pussy, teger.
     
  9. Teger

    Teger Senior member

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    I just honestly don't understand why she gives a fuck (and yes I know the standard answer would be "women"). She clearly doesn't want this relationship to continue and doesn't place enough value in me or it, so who cares what I think of her? It's this type of thing that confuses me -- she went on and on about how our relationship lasted because it was comfortable and easy, but it was neither of those things honestly, and if that's all it was, why give a shit what I think?

    Also, don't even get me started on her ridiculous weight insecurities. Literally every day some more bullshit about how she's fat (she's not), etc. Maybe it's for the best that this thing is ending, but I still want to fight to have it last, because I still care about her and have feelings for her. I think she likes to pretend she doesn't feel the same way but we literally spend all of our time together and I don't know if she's really confronted time without me.

    Anyway, pretty confused at the moment. Moreso because we're still, at this moment, lying in bed together (and she keeps trying to read what I'm typing).
     
  10. Mandrake9072

    Mandrake9072 Senior member

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    Moreso because we're still, at this moment, lying in bed together (and she keeps trying to read what I'm typing).

    [​IMG]
     
  11. sartorialism

    sartorialism Senior member

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  12. randallr

    randallr Senior member

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    I just honestly don't understand why she gives a fuck (and yes I know the standard answer would be "women"). She clearly doesn't want this relationship to continue and doesn't place enough value in me or it, so who cares what I think of her? It's this type of thing that confuses me -- she went on and on about how our relationship lasted because it was comfortable and easy, but it was neither of those things honestly, and if that's all it was, why give a shit what I think?

    Also, don't even get me started on her ridiculous weight insecurities. Literally every day some more bullshit about how she's fat (she's not), etc. Maybe it's for the best that this thing is ending, but I still want to fight to have it last, because I still care about her and have feelings for her. I think she likes to pretend she doesn't feel the same way but we literally spend all of our time together and I don't know if she's really confronted time without me.

    Anyway, pretty confused at the moment. Moreso because we're still, at this moment, lying in bed together (and she keeps trying to read what I'm typing).


    Well, she's more than likely fat as she's with your lame-ass. Why don't you talk to her instead of emoing out of this forum? Hah just kidding. Women have all sorts of issues and the sooner you realize how to exploit them the better off you'll be. If you're at your house, ask her to leave. If you're at hers, leave. Don't let her thrive off this drama.
     
  13. Teger

    Teger Senior member

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    yea it's pretty ridiculous, but I'm tired and don't feel like walking home. my instinct says 'this girl is crazy let this one go', but i still really enjoy the time we spend together and have feelings for her, so want to try to keep things going past this month. she spent like 25 minutes talking about how our relationship was casual and it wasn't worth continuing because it didn't mean anything to her, but the moment I ignore her she falls pieces, and apparently my opinion of her is the most important thing in the world. bizarre.

    ps: I was replying to your post at first and she kept trying to read my screen and I was like "what are you doing" and she started crying, which I am now ignoring as I type this!
     
  14. randomkoreandude

    randomkoreandude Senior member

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    wow this is way more interesting then my lame a$$ problem a page back ... haha
     
  15. randallr

    randallr Senior member

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    yea it's pretty ridiculous, but I'm tired and don't feel like walking home. my instinct says 'this girl is crazy let this one go', but i still really enjoy the time we spend together and have feelings for her, so want to try to keep things going past this month. she spent like 25 minutes talking about how our relationship was casual and it wasn't worth continuing because it didn't mean anything to her, but the moment I ignore her she falls pieces, and apparently my opinion of her is the most important thing in the world. bizarre.

    ps: I was replying to your post at first and she kept trying to read my screen and I was like "what are you doing" and she started crying, which I am now ignoring as I type this!


    This is ridiculous. Go to the bar and get laid. It is a Saturday night afterall![​IMG]
     

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