I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Matt, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. APK

    APK Senior member

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    ^^ I know you how you feel. It's best to move on. Never doubt yourself and never look back. Live your life and if the you re-connect you do and if you don't , you don't. There is no need to beat yourself up.


    The Goat and I have been split for close to a year, now. The hurt is still fresh but if I didn't let go and move on I would be in such an awful place. I don't wish that on anyone.


    Share your story, Mauro! Being totally serious here. I'm a nosy son of a bastard and always what went down.

    do you delete the pictures of you together on fb?

    we are still friends, i ended it awhile back but we still talk online and text. we were together for a little over a year, but the last 3 months were long distance, and that just reaffirmed the feelings i'd been having about wanting to focus on myself and figuring out my next step after graduating. i made it clear that we weren't gonna get back together. but still kinda seems like a fuck you to up and delete all the pictures, no? i'm kinda on the fence about this one.


    I only had a handful with the aforementioned ex on FB and most were courtesy of third-party sources. So they're still there. She never untagged herself, which I guess is about all she could've done to distance herself from there. I did notice many, many months ago that she went back and deleted one of her old profile pictures of us together, which I thought was a bit odd. Splitting is one thing, but that struck me as trying to erase the past.

    I never untagged myself or deleted a couple of my old default pictures with us together because it seemed unnecessary, since you'd only come across them if you were digging/FB stalking.

    There's a reason there's the saying, "best friends become strangers." It sucks but it's just the way it is. I know you want to be a good guy and still be there for her, but it's just not worth it and will only delay the inevitable.

    Nil is dropping the best knowledge in this thread. Not to say I've taken it, but he's absolutely right.
     


  2. Derekcolns

    Derekcolns New Member

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    hi matt, i can understand your feeling and it's hard to broke up the relation which is long for 1/5 year duration. This is just my point of view that if possible, reconsider your problem and tried to join your relation again.

    This is not a force, just give your life one chance and see it works or not!!![​IMG]
     


  3. TheD0n

    TheD0n Senior member

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  4. otc

    otc Senior member

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    I didn't take mine down, profile pics included, and I have a new girl.

    +1

    Deleting/untagging all of your photos is some petty shit
     


  5. Cool The Kid

    Cool The Kid Senior member

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    +1

    Deleting/untagging all of your photos is some petty shit

    Two of my friends broke up and were huge on photos. The dude finally moved on, and wound up deleting like 400 pics of him in his ex. FB breakup procedures are always hilairous.
     


  6. deadly7

    deadly7 Senior member

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    Two of my friends broke up and were huge on photos. The dude finally moved on, and wound up deleting like 400 pics of him in his ex. FB breakup procedures are always hilairous.

    Are your friends, like, 13? jfc.
     


  7. Mark from Plano

    Mark from Plano Lifestyle change - no homo

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    Breakup sex is awesome.
     


  8. zissou

    zissou Senior member

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    There's a reason there's the saying, "best friends become strangers." It sucks but it's just the way it is. I know you want to be a good guy and still be there for her, but it's just not worth it and will only delay the inevitable.
    Yeah, I occasionally think it would be nice to still spend time with her, but mostly wonder why I would put myself through that. I felt like I did all the work in the relationship, and then had no say in the break up, so screw being friends. I'd be filled with resentment, so it's just not worth it.
     


  9. ghostbusters101

    ghostbusters101 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I occasionally think it would be nice to still spend time with her, but mostly wonder why I would put myself through that. I felt like I did all the work in the relationship, and then had no say in the break up, so screw being friends. I'd be filled with resentment, so it's just not worth it.

    Very good call. Being friends would not work. The best advice anyone ever gave me about dealing with a breakup is to cut off all contact for 30 days.
     


  10. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    friends with exes....

    One of my closest friends' gf moved back to the US about a year ago, and they kept up the long distance thing for a few months after that before he pulled the plug.

    Completely cold cut off - no contact at all. She was pretty banged up apparently, but he did what had to be done.

    About a week ago he started saying it was time he got back in touch, no need for bad blood or animosity between them, water under bridge etc. "Think I may text her or something."

    Coincidentally enough, she emailed him yesterday saying exactly the same thing, and so, like 8 months later they have agreed to be friends.

    I think that is pretty much the perfect way for it to unfold. Long enough for most of the lingering feelings (both positive and negative) to clear, and for people to just be grownups again.
     


  11. deadly7

    deadly7 Senior member

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    I think that is pretty much the perfect way for it to unfold. Long enough for most of the lingering feelings (both positive and negative) to clear, and for people to just be grownups again.

    Your friends had a clean enough breakup that it was easy for them to be friends again. From the sounds of things, they only split because of distance (Saigon vs USA). I'd say, even after long amounts of time, some couples that broke up will never talk as friends again. The worse the breakup, the more true I've noticed this to be.
     


  12. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    there was more to it than that. There always is. I have had two Violent breakups. I am on decent terms with one of them, that took over a year, but we're cool now. The other wants me dead.
     


  13. nootje

    nootje Senior member

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    With the previous gf i initiated the break up, but we agreed to meet up for drinks in 6 months. It was good to know that someone you cared for ìs ìn a good place. Also learned à bit from that meetup as she was able to point out some things about me without the conversation get angry.

    Definite +1
     


  14. HgaleK

    HgaleK Senior member

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    Breakup sex is awesome.

    I managed to fuck this up with both breakups. I haven't been laid in days and it fucking sucks. I'll be fixing that this weekend, but holy shit- it blows being on the single most socially conservative campus in the US.
    [​IMG]

    I give great praise and thanks to Halloween parties and Austin.
     


  15. zissou

    zissou Senior member

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    With the previous gf i initiated the break up, but we agreed to meet up for drinks in 6 months. It was good to know that someone you cared for ìs ìn a good place. Also learned à bit from that meetup as she was able to point out some things about me without the conversation get angry.
    I'm hoping for something along these lines. Interestingly, the woman I was dating is Dutch. Why are you people so practical?? [​IMG] Although, I think there is something about her as a person that prevents her from feeling any kind of empathy, even for herself.
     


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