I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Matt, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    indesertum knows Matt Ryan?
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2015


  2. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    And let me add to this....

    Don't be crying like a little bitch about it. Stop with the daily "good morning" texts. Stop with the Facebook stalking. Stop with the wanting to be a part of every event that your common friends have. Stop with the "what are you doing for your birthday/holiday/etc?" Stop with the "I was thinking about you" call.

    STOP with all that shit!
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2015


  3. indesertum

    indesertum Senior member

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    Thanks for the advice guys. I'm a little surprised at how well the breakup went. I'm surprised at how little emotion was involved on her part and relatively on mine. I'm not stalking her or constantly texting her and have yet to call her again.

    I deserve everything that happened but I also agree a little with her that we weren't a great fit.

    One thing is I would really like to have another conversation and talk about the things that went wrong, how we could fix or avoid them in the future with other people, and give and listen to advice from each other. Mainly I want to do this for a sense of closure which I feel like would at least help me move on. I'm not sure if she wants to do this. I also do need to talk to her about what I should send her and what I shouldn't send her.

    Do I do it today? After a week or two? Or never talk to her again and just have a box show up on her doorstep?

    She mentioned driving up here to pick up things but she also sounded hesitant about that. Made it sound like she doesn't want to see me again
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2015


  4. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    Do NOT suggest a talk about what went wrong. That's lame right now.
    Do NOT initiate a convo re what to send and what to not send back.

    Don't do any of that shit today. Pack up her stuff in a box and put in in your closet. When/if she calls and says that she wants to come and get her stuff..just say..no prob. I have it all in a box.

    If she doesn't suggest coming to get the stuff anytime soon, let it sit in your closet. No need to contact anytime soon to make it happen.

    Also, of course you can talk to her in the future. But I would suggest right now, let it be.

    I e-mail ex GF's every birthday and we usually end up having a 2-3 day e-mail exchange on how each of us has been. 2 of them are married.
    I meet up with an ex GF for lunch every now and then in the city. She is married. We are great friends.

    We still communicate.....but we were apart for a while before all of that started up. You(and she) need to let it go. Then when you(and she) has moved on, it will be easier to have a somewhat "friendship."
     


  5. indesertum

    indesertum Senior member

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  6. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    Your bill is in the mail.
     


  7. hendrix

    hendrix Ill-proportioned

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    Let me help you out here:

    There is no such thing as closure. Many things went wrong that could have been avoided. Many things also went right. Even knowing what went wrong isn't going to help you feel better or help you for future relationships.
     


  8. indesertum

    indesertum Senior member

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    You really don't think that knowing what went wrong would help prepare for future relationships?
     


  9. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    Preach on!
     


  10. Ambulance Chaser

    Ambulance Chaser Senior member

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    Lesson for future relationships? Date someone who laughs at your jokes and shares your passions. You don't need a discussion for that.
     


  11. texas_jack

    texas_jack Senior member

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    what is long term? Just curious
     


  12. indesertum

    indesertum Senior member

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    my post was pretty long. we dated for 5 years. i've known her for 9.

    i so badly wanted to write about how much shame i felt today when i realized how badly i mistreated and belittled her by not listening to her stories whole heartedly like she did for my stupid stories about basketball and alcohol. after i wrote it i dont really want to anymore.
     


  13. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    So you don't need to sit down and discuss shit. You know that you were a dick to her. No need to go over it again and again.
     


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