I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Matt, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    404
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    The Brooklyn of Seattle
    Then what the fuck is the point? And don't say "a foundation to move on from" that doesn't mean anything. You're not being honest with yourself.
     


  2. MarkI

    MarkI Senior member

    Messages:
    2,693
    Likes Received:
    1,086
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Maybe it doesnt make sense, maybe its illogical, but simply put, I can only begin to move on after I hear her say goodbye, and I say goodbye, then I walk away, and move on.
     


  3. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    404
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    The Brooklyn of Seattle
    Thats bullshit. You're saying she is in control over whether you move on or not.
     


  4. Ambulance Chaser

    Ambulance Chaser Senior member

    Messages:
    9,834
    Likes Received:
    954
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2002
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    MarkI has out-[​IMG]'d [​IMG] .

    I understand your need for closure, but please, please don't go to dinner with this woman. Meet at a coffee shop, say your piece, and leave.
     


  5. MarkI

    MarkI Senior member

    Messages:
    2,693
    Likes Received:
    1,086
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Thats bullshit. You're saying she is in control over whether you move on or not.

    This is not true, I just want to fucking say goodbye, and walk away with some sense of closure, this up in the air shit is ridiculous. And it comes from her end, thats why I say goodbye.

    MarkI has out-[​IMG]'d [​IMG] .

    I understand your need for closure, but please, please don't go to dinner with this woman. Meet at a coffee shop, say your piece, and leave.


    I said in an earlier post, dinner was just something that was said, I doubt well even go anywhere other than a fucking walk
     


  6. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    404
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    The Brooklyn of Seattle
    This is not true, I just want to fucking say goodbye, and walk away with some sense of closure, this up in the air shit is ridiculous. And it comes from her end, thats why I say goodbye.


    Maybe it doesnt make sense, maybe its illogical, but simply put, I can only begin to move on after I hear her say goodbye, and I say goodbye, then I walk away, and move on.

    [​IMG]


    According to you, this "up in the air shit" is coming from her, whatever you say to her is not going to change her story. There is no last word, "here's looking at you kid" scenario that is going to make any of this easier. You're just delaying what is bound to be an already lengthy and painful process.
     


  7. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

    Messages:
    762
    Likes Received:
    13
    Joined:
    May 24, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Alright, so instead relationships should go on, indefinitely in some strange topsy turvy state, where neither party has straight out said that they are no longer together?

    I don't know about you people, but after spending a year and a half of my life with someone, I would much rather say goodbye, and then, with a foundation on which I can solidly say that it is over, begin to move on.

    I do not think there is inherently anything wrong with this.


    There isn't, so long as both parties play by those rules. In your case, neither party has, and you've given us no reason (beyond your solemn word) to believe that's going to change. Your long goodbye has been all "long" and no "goodbye." So, your real choice is between: 1) both parties stop seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other, and the relationship is actually over; and 2) both parties keep seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other to say that the relationship is over (kinda sorta maybe), ad infinitum. The latter is what you've been doing for weeks.

    Closure only works when you close.
     


  8. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

    Messages:
    11,420
    Likes Received:
    591
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2006
    Location:
    Pennsylvania Ave/Connecticut Ave
    Whatever. Dude just tell us in explicit detail what happens at your dinner/walk.
     


  9. MarkI

    MarkI Senior member

    Messages:
    2,693
    Likes Received:
    1,086
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    There isn't, so long as both parties play by those rules. In your case, neither party has, and you've given us no reason (beyond your solemn word) to believe that's going to change. Your long goodbye has been all "long" and no "goodbye." So, your real choice is between: 1) both parties stop seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other, and the relationship is actually over; and 2) both parties keep seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other to say that the relationship is over (kinda sorta maybe), ad infinitum. The latter is what you've been doing for weeks.

    Closure only works when you close.


    Or how about, one party says goodbye, because they are sick of the way the other party is acting?
     


  10. Teger

    Teger Senior member

    Messages:
    21,962
    Likes Received:
    6,608
    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2008
    Location:
    Richmond, VA
    holy shit i never thought i'd see an sf poster more myopic than foo, BUT LO AND BEHOLD
     


  11. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    404
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    The Brooklyn of Seattle
    Or how about, one party says goodbye, because they are sick of the way the other party is acting?

    [​IMG] If you were really sick of it, you wouldn't have any desire to subject yourself to any more of it.
     


  12. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

    Messages:
    762
    Likes Received:
    13
    Joined:
    May 24, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Or how about, one party says goodbye, because they are sick of the way the other party is acting?

    You had me at, "I need some time apart."
     


  13. MarkI

    MarkI Senior member

    Messages:
    2,693
    Likes Received:
    1,086
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    [​IMG] If you were really sick of it, you wouldn't have any desire to subject yourself to any more of it.

    I don't, and that's why i'm saying goodbye.
     


  14. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    404
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    The Brooklyn of Seattle


  15. Hombre Secreto

    Hombre Secreto Senior member

    Messages:
    3,841
    Likes Received:
    429
    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Location:
    Lost Angeles
    I don't, and that's why i'm saying goodbye.

    Closure, eh? [​IMG]
     


Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by