I am farting and I don't know how to stop

[SField]

I think I've done more than enough of the raunchy posts, but I don't know what's going on anymore. Last night (I actually posted incorrectly in the "what did you east last night", that was 2 nights ago), I quickly went to whole food and bought one of those "ultimate" burgers at their meat counter. I made it with some bacon, which is something I don't normally eat, on a whole wheat bun.

Since about 10pm last night, I have been emiting some of the most foul, vicious smells I can imagine. By 1am I didn't even think that it was funny, and I actually cancelled having drinks with someone because it was seriously that horrible. One fairly sizeable morning constitutional later, I am still unleashing memoirs of Chernobyl from my sit upon. I want this to stop. Last night as I lay in bed I was dropping bombs that I'm sure could qualify my apartment for U.N. weapons inspections. When even you are disgusted by your own foulness, you know there's something wrong.

I eat fairly clean at home but I didn't think 1 strip of ***** bacon would do this. What the **** is going on!?!?!

 

[thekunk07]

cruciferous veg? grilled chicken? these both have led me to a life of being a recidivist farter. i'm good for 70-100 emissions a day that i know about (god knows how many while i sleep)

 

[SField]

Originally Posted by thekunk07

cruciferous veg? grilled chicken? these both have led me to a life of being a recidivist farter. i'm good for 70-100 emissions a day that i know about (god knows how many while i sleep)

My system is used to brocoli so unless I overcook it I really don't fart that much, neither does chicken make me fart.

I might actually be lactose intolerant because if I eat ice cream I turn the place into a gas chamber, and my poor asshole has to make 2-3 trips.

 

[thekunk07]

i am trying to cut out milk for a bit cause my belly bloats right after my morning coffee.

 

[WhoKnewI]

Haha. Now and then I have a similar problem. I have no idea what causes it. I eat the same amount of fiber everyday, but some days it's just horrible. Anyways, the tags for this thread are great.

 

[Thomas]

How much water have you been drinking? If I go high-protein and forget the water on a given morning, people actually walk faster as they pass my office door.

 

[SField]

Originally Posted by Thomas

How much water have you been drinking? If I go high-protein and forget the water on a given morning, people actually walk faster as they pass my office door.

that must be it. Usually I drink 3 litres a day, yesterday I didn't!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dakota rube]

Man.
I ate Chicken Kiev and stuffing last night and I wish I didn't have to share my office with myself today!

 

[thekunk07]

my farts always smell exactly like what i ate. taco farts. turkey farts. dim sum.

anyone else?

 

[why]

Originally Posted by thekunk07

my farts always smell exactly like what i ate. taco farts. turkey farts. dim sum.

anyone else?

Eggs. Well, they smell more like rotten hard-boiled eggs whether I scramble them or fry them.

 

[SField]

Originally Posted by thekunk07

my farts always smell exactly like what i ate. taco farts. turkey farts. dim sum.

anyone else?

When I'm eating healthy, which is most of the time, it has this sort of smell of overipe, rotting fruit. You can tell it's a fart obviously, but it has a certain forlorn sweetness to it. In fact, in some ways it's similar to a girl fart.

Then, on my darker days, it becomes this full bodied, sulfuric bio bomb. Usually if I've had too much dairy or if I've overloaded on protein.

 

[MrGimpy]

Mine are all variations on the theme of crap.

 

[atomicranch]

As much as I hesitate to contribute to this thread, try Beano. It works.

And, in my experience, it's the healthier, high fiber foods that give me the most gas.

 

[SField]

Originally Posted by MrGimpy

Mine are all variations on the theme of crap.

Well, just as all wine is made from grapes, all farts are made of ****. But that doesn't mean we cannot take a closer, more examining look. That is what we're here for. Share.

 

[coopster]

Originally Posted by Thomas

How much water have you been drinking? If I go high-protein and forget the water on a given morning, people actually walk faster as they pass my office door.

+1 Haha

You ever ripped a mean one then somebody comes into your office to give you something? Happened last week. You should have seen the look on the poor womans face.