I am angry a lot. So I have been told

[jgold47]

So I had a pretty ****** day starting with my big boss calling and yelling at me for something that may or may not have been warranted. Then, I called my other boss to tell him that the big boss called and then he started in on me (in a very ' I am looking out for you' kind of way, which I appreciated). Then last night, I started talking to my mom on the way home (from the bar, but thats ok), and got into a very similar 90 minute conversation with a lot of the same things.

Now I would genreally characterize myself as a nice guy, and generally a happy person (as much as I can be in this day and age), but I know I have a bit of a short fuse. I do get angry about stuff I shouldnt, I tend to take things personally (I have kind of a thin skin), I can be glib and sarcastic, and I would also throw paranoid about certain things.

The kind of things that set me off are things like, people being shady, people being selfish, people being contradictory (thats a big one for me a work.) I tend to assume people are trying to **** me, and act accordingly.

I am also very paranoid about work. I think at my first big kids job, they really did a number on us, telling us that if we dont get promoted between 12-18 months we will probably get fired, and that instead of having one boss (you work with several 'more senior' level people) multiple people weight in on you. I always think i am one mess up away from getting fired. Perhaps those things are cause and effect of each other (paranoid because I am angry, angry because I am paranoid). Because of this, I tend to be agressive, (though gerenally not cocky or dismissive - at least not on purpose).

Obviously getting this from the better part of 3 people yesterday sucked, but do any of you have similar tales, and how do you 'make yourself less angry'

 

[globetrotter]

I'm not going to tell you how I got to be less angry, but I will tell you that when I did get less angry it was much better for my health and my happiness.

Originally Posted by jgold47

So I had a pretty ****** day starting with my big boss calling and yelling at me for something that may or may not have been warranted. Then, I called my other boss to tell him that the big boss called and then he started in on me (in a very ' I am looking out for you' kind of way, which I appreciated). Then last night, I started talking to my mom on the way home (from the bar, but thats ok), and got into a very similar 90 minute conversation with a lot of the same things.

Now I would genreally characterize myself as a nice guy, and generally a happy person (as much as I can be in this day and age), but I know I have a bit of a short fuse. I do get angry about stuff I shouldnt, I tend to take things personally (I have kind of a thin skin), I can be glib and sarcastic, and I would also throw paranoid about certain things.

The kind of things that set me off are things like, people being shady, people being selfish, people being contradictory (thats a big one for me a work.) I tend to assume people are trying to **** me, and act accordingly.

I am also very paranoid about work. I think at my first big kids job, they really did a number on us, telling us that if we dont get promoted between 12-18 months we will probably get fired, and that instead of having one boss (you work with several 'more senior' level people) multiple people weight in on you. I always think i am one mess up away from getting fired. Perhaps those things are cause and effect of each other (paranoid because I am angry, angry because I am paranoid). Because of this, I tend to be agressive, (though gerenally not cocky or dismissive - at least not on purpose).

Obviously getting this from the better part of 3 people yesterday sucked, but do any of you have similar tales, and how do you 'make yourself less angry'

 

[EL72]

Have more sex, smoke more weed, drink more...

 

[Burzum]

Sounds familiar....

Honestly - don't take any of it personally it's just work. Like Tyler said you are not your job you are not your bank account.

Reality is if you continue to get agro at work you raise your blood pressure - you make that physiological behaviour a habit you endanger your health long term. No job or annoying co-worker is worth it. You also risk a brain snap where you just loose it...not the way to go!

You have to be ZEN which really isn't my style...

Work is just a paycheck though and not worth getting heart disease or an ulcer over.

If anything now I'm too laid back at work while everyone stresses. I never used to be that way at all..lol

Also some people you get forced to interact with at work are just assholes. If they are an asshole to you.; it's not personal they treat everyone that way, because thats who they are. Took me too damn long to learn that.

Don't worry people who act that way set themselves up for heart attacks, ulcers etc. I saw it happen to some wanker at work - I spent half the day outisde laughing ****** off when it happened.

Play the long game!

 

[theincumbent]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I'm not going to tell you how I got to be less angry...

Now I'm dying to know. Unless its some Pat Bateman-like activities.

 

[unjung]

I blame the Dirty-D.

 

[Connemara]

Originally Posted by unjung

I blame the Dirty-D.
+1.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by theincumbent

Now I'm dying to know. Unless its some Pat Bateman-like activities.

oh, no, quite the opposite - it just wasn't anything revelutionary or interesting: spend more time with my wife and kids, try a little light meditation, excersize more (espectially things that involved hitting stuff and hard physical activities), consiously control my outward expressions of anger, put my work in perspective, delegate work more.

 

[holymadness]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

oh, no, quite the opposite - it just wasn't anything revelutionary or interesting: spend more time with my wife and kids, try a little light meditation, excersize more (espectially things that involved hitting stuff and hard physical activities), consiously control my outward expressions of anger, put my work in perspective, delegate work more.
I was going to suggest self-medication, shooting guns, and petty crime. Upon reflection, your ideas are slightly more workable, if prosaic.

 

[millionaire75]

I understand where you are coming from regarding work. It has such a big effect on our lives. Perhaps you should re-assess your job?

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by holymadness

I was going to suggest self-medication, shooting guns, and petty crime. Upon reflection, your ideas are slightly more workable, if prosaic.

but you'rs sound so much more fun!!

 

[Scrumhalf]

Yoga and meditation. Explore Zen Buddhism if you are so inclined. Contemplative Eastern religions can have a calming effect.

 

[HORNS]

Here's some advice: "alot" is not a word.

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by Dalai Lama

Anger most harms the person who feels it
Words to live by

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by HORNS

Here's some advice: "alot" is not a word.

jesus, you correct somebody with anger managment issues, from detroit's grammer? you have big brass balls.