How would you handle this situation with a girl?

[Maverick_]

Hi guys,

I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks, we have made out and thought we liked each other because we text each other quite a lot. We travel a lot in our careers so don't always get to meet regularly which I understand. But lately I am not so sure about her and here's a recent situation:

If you are seeing this girl, and propose to make some plans let's say to see them on the weekend.

You discuss via text, about meeting each other on Saturday morning and she replies she's available Sunday eve. You reply back saying Sunday eve is good but she doesn't text back to confirm the whole of Saturday, and the whole of Sunday, and only messages on Monday to say she had 'flu'.

What would you do?

Considering two weeks before she also said she had 'flu', and overslept for another meet before. I gave her the benefit of doubt these two times but I am interested in hearing what you would do about the above.

A normal person would have at least texted to say they are ill and can't make it (I certainly have). It seemed a little rude to me and I felt like it disrespected my time. I like her but it also makes me not want to see her anymore.

 

[BrianVarick]

If she was into you she would have texted even if she wasn't feeling well. That or she is just really self absorbed and didn't even think about it, both of which are bad signs.

 

[Bhowie]



Hi guys,

I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks, we have made out and thought we liked each other because we text each other quite a lot. We travel a lot in our careers so don't always get to meet regularly which I understand. But lately I am not so sure about her and here's a recent situation:

If you are seeing this girl, and propose to make some plans let's say to see them on the weekend.

You discuss via text, about meeting each other on Saturday morning and she replies she's available Sunday eve. You reply back saying Sunday eve is good but she doesn't text back to confirm the whole of Saturday, and the whole of Sunday, and only messages on Monday to say she had 'flu'.

What would you do?

Considering two weeks before she also said she had 'flu', and overslept for another meet before. I gave her the benefit of doubt these two times but I am interested in hearing what you would do about the above.

A normal person would have at least texted to say they are ill and can't make it (I certainly have). It seemed a little rude to me and I felt like it disrespected my time. I like her but it also makes me not want to see her anymore.

You just stole the beta of the year award from idfnl. Congrats.

 

[FLMountainMan]



Hi guys,

I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks, we have made out and thought we liked each other because we text each other quite a lot. We travel a lot in our careers so don't always get to meet regularly which I understand. But lately I am not so sure about her and here's a recent situation:

If you are seeing this girl, and propose to make some plans let's say to see them on the weekend.

You discuss via text, about meeting each other on Saturday morning and she replies she's available Sunday eve. You reply back saying Sunday eve is good but she doesn't text back to confirm the whole of Saturday, and the whole of Sunday, and only messages on Monday to say she had 'flu'.

What would you do?

Considering two weeks before she also said she had 'flu', and overslept for another meet before. I gave her the benefit of doubt these two times but I am interested in hearing what you would do about the above.

A normal person would have at least texted to say they are ill and can't make it (I certainly have). It seemed a little rude to me and I felt like it disrespected my time. I like her but it also makes me not want to see her anymore.

Move on. She'll probably try to string you along a bit more, but resist the urge to indulge. It's not going to be worth it.

 

[CDFS]

Agree with all of the above.

 

[SchwererGustav]

Considering two weeks before she also said she had 'flu', and overslept for another meet before. I gave her the benefit of doubt these two times but I am interested in hearing what you would do about the above.

After one instance of flaking, you could consider giving her "the benefit of the doubt"; yet you're asking us for permission after a third? Move on, man.

 

[Maverick_]

Hi guys,

I don't know why but I am the one feeling burnt. I know I did the right thing by calling her out on it, but the fact that she hasn't contacted me since I wrote the message kinda shocks me.

How would you interpret the situation?

 

[Master-Classter]

**** happens, move on. Sounds like she wasn't as interested as you are or circumstances changed on her side or any number of scenarios. Go out there and get someone else.

view it as an external event, one time incident, and uncontrollable. It'll help you move on.

 

[Cleav]

Sayonara baby,

 

[Piobaire]



Hi guys,

I don't know why but I am the one feeling burnt. I know I did the right thing by calling her out on it, but the fact that she hasn't contacted me since I wrote the message kinda shocks me.

How would you interpret the situation?

You should buy her something expensive and then report back.

 

[Fuuma]

She was meant for you, how could she betray that most sacred of compacts!!! You need to set her on fire, that'll teach her. Maybe you're just not that interesting?

 

[Maverick_]



She was meant for you, how could she betray that most sacred of compacts!!! You need to set her on fire, that'll teach her. Maybe you're just not that interesting?

That's a bit harsh. I think I am a pretty interesting guy.

I let her know about this and we haven't contacted each other since, which is about a 4 weeks ago now.

I am pretty sure I will see her on a social occasion through a mutual friend. My idea is to be indifferent and take it easy.

 

[Master-Classter]

the trick is not to try and pretend to be indifferent and easy going. You actually have to BE indifferent and easy going. Swallow hard and let it go and move on and remove any expectations about what might happen (eg like hope).


Emotions fill the gap between expectations and reality. For as long as you build up a hope/dream/belief about what might be, and the reality doesn't match it, you're going to feel a negative emotion.

 

[Cleav]

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

the trick is not to try and pretend to be indifferent and easy going. You actually have to BE indifferent and easy going. Swallow hard and let it go and move on and remove any expectations about what might happen (eg like hope).


Emotions fill the gap between expectations and reality. For as long as you build up a hope/dream/belief about what might be, and the reality doesn't match it, you're going to feel a negative emotion.

I'd like to be associated with the words of the last speaker.

 

[Maverick_]

Great reply. Thank you for the advice.