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How would you deal with the "wannabee baller" friend?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Saltricks, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. Jekyll

    Jekyll Well-Known Member

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  2. potemkin_city_limits

    potemkin_city_limits Well-Known Member

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    ^^ Send your douche friend to that website. Apparently he can stock up on his cheezy shit and still save his money. Its perfect.

    Your kinda dumb for hanging out with the guy. The solution is obvious. Tell him hes a loser and stop hanging out with him. I had friends who became lame over time and I just told them I was busy when they asked what I was doing.
     
  3. acidboy

    acidboy Well-Known Member

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    the solution is clear: don't cut ties with douche, keep posting here. thanks.
     
  4. Lane

    Lane Well-Known Member

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    The chronicles of douche
     
  5. LawrenceMD

    LawrenceMD Well-Known Member

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    when does this turn into a virginia tech situation? keep him away from firearms.
     
  6. impolyt_one

    impolyt_one Well-Known Member

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    So what did douchefriend learn from all this? He said that Jessica was irrefutable proof that all girls were “bitches who are shallow and have no real desire for smart, funny guys. They just want douche white guys who wear Abercrombie and fitch and have six packs and wear their hat backwards. Oh, smart, rich, compassionate Asian? No chance with them! Only gold diggers will want them (and they’ll cheat on the side)! That’s why they don’t like me! CUZ IM FUCKING ASIAN!” Yes douchefriend. It’s because you’re asian.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] Been following this five-star threak, thinking "my god, this sounds just like some guys I know, one guy in particular who still hates me, 15 years later" and then suddenly you write this opus Saltricks, and I realize in this end piece here that your douchefriend and my eternal enemy (who I don't hate) were cut from the same cloth. The dude I know is more of a small timer in mentality because I'm a bit older than you and we got by with less 10-15 years ago, but equally as gaudy, and equally as down on himself. I will post some stories if I can remember anything good enough to post. I have a ton of shitty friends/shitty Asian dudes I know.
     
  7. srendam

    srendam Well-Known Member

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    If he kills himself, god forbid, this stuff is gonna be worth a lot of moolah.
     
  8. supermidget

    supermidget Well-Known Member

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    saltricks, you claim he's only turned into a douchebag recently, though from these stories, he's been one for a long time already. just my $0.02
     
  9. Saltricks

    Saltricks Well-Known Member

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    saltricks, you claim he's only turned into a douchebag recently, though from these stories, he's been one for a long time already. just my $0.02

    Well, I don't think high school was THAT long ago (we just graduated college a few months ago). But, in retrospect he had the inklings of douchiness even as far back as 8th grade. He didnt get full on douche till the last two years or so, however.
     
  10. otc

    otc Well-Known Member

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    douchefriend is permadouche
     
  11. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff Well-Known Member

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    now, these are entertaining and all, but im suspicious to the credibility to these last few stories. they sound too sensational. why havent you told us about this one (about cops being involved in him stalking) as one of the first few descriptors of your douchebag friend on the first page?

    it's like, oh my friend is a douche, gets crazy at clubs and never tips.......10 pages later, oh and he is also a stalker and got involved with the cops!
     
  12. Piobaire

    Piobaire Well-Known Member

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    The art work back on page 2 or 3 is the funniest shit I have ever seen on SF. I lol'ed until I had tears.
     
  13. Saltricks

    Saltricks Well-Known Member

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    now, these are entertaining and all, but im suspicious to the credibility to these last few stories. they sound too sensational. why havent you told us about this one (about cops being involved in him stalking) as one of the first few descriptors of your douchebag friend on the first page?

    it's like, oh my friend is a douche, gets crazy at clubs and never tips.......10 pages later, oh and he is also a stalker and got involved with the cops!


    Wow, I'm laughing at this because that's how bad he is. It's like he is so bad, that you doubt that he could even be real. LOL

    Truth is stranger than fiction. [​IMG]
     
  14. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff Well-Known Member

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    ok if these are all absolutely true, then i believe you should continue being his friend for the pure entertainment factor.
     
  15. JesseJB

    JesseJB Well-Known Member

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    This thread is win in the highest sense of the word.

    Actually I had a friend who did that tip scam to me as well. But we had to shell out extra to cover his 5% tip. We also ran with a group who regularly got hooked up with drinks from a bartender and my douche friend would show up, drink a free shot or two and just order water when asked what else he wanted. We all stopped getting hooked up after a few more episodes of that.
     
  16. whiteslashasian

    whiteslashasian Well-Known Member

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    ok if these are all absolutely true, then i believe you should continue being his friend for the pure entertainment factor.

    Only he has to do this in areas he isn't known and doesn't mind not ever returning to.
     
  17. Saltricks

    Saltricks Well-Known Member

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    This thread is win in the highest sense of the word.

    Actually I had a friend who did that tip scam to me as well. But we had to shell out extra to cover his 5% tip. We also ran with a group who regularly got hooked up with drinks from a bartender and my douche friend would show up, drink a free shot or two and just order water when asked what else he wanted. We all stopped getting hooked up after a few more episodes of that.


    AAHHGHH This makes my blood boil! ARG

    I'll post another story later. So many to choose from!
     
  18. DGstyles

    DGstyles Well-Known Member

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    Well, if you've known him for that long, just be blunt about it. Tell him flat out that he's a poser, comes off as a douche, and that you're embarrassed to be around him when he's acting that way. If he has fully formed frontal lobes, he should be able to take some constructive criticism.

    +1. If he is a good friend, he should be able to understand where you are coming from. If he doesn't and can't take the criticism, then I think it may be time to hang out less. Maybe he will come to and realize that he is the epitome of douchebaggery.
     
  19. UnFacconable

    UnFacconable Well-Known Member

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    I just want to weigh in and say that Saltricks - you are a great writer and have a very very good memory which is extremely beneficial to your storytelling. I wouldn't be surprised if you knocked out a quality book or two. Maybe you should write a magazine style article about this guy.

    Also, based on the chronology - seems like after years of losing "bitches" to "6'2" white guys wearing abercrombie" your friend decided to douche it up so that he'd be on the other side of the equation. Turns out that he was wrong about why girls weren't digging his business, and just made things worse.
     
  20. Piobaire

    Piobaire Well-Known Member

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    Does your friend spend a lot of time playing DDR?
     

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