1. And... we're back. You'll notice that all of your images are back as well, as are our beloved emoticons, including the infamous :foo: We have also worked with our server folks and developers to fix the issues that were slowing down the site.

    There is still work to be done - the images in existing sigs are not yet linked, for example, and we are working on a way to get the images to load faster - which will improve the performance of the site, especially on the pages with a ton of images, and we will continue to work diligently on that and keep you updated.

    Cheers,

    Fok on behalf of the entire Styleforum team
    Dismiss Notice

How would you deal with the "wannabee baller" friend?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Saltricks, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. hendrix

    hendrix Senior member

    Messages:
    9,452
    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    I think he's mexican.

    So douchefriend told me his 4 choices for a halloween costume:

    1. Douchebag


    Could you get him to describe this?
     
  2. Nathaniel72

    Nathaniel72 Senior member

    Messages:
    248
    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Location:
    Central WI
    Intervention. You and as many other real friends he has should just sit him down and tell him what you're thinking, and be completely honest. Tell him how embarrassing it is to be with him and tell him how hard it is watching him do what he does. If he is a true friend he will at least consider your words and not feel like he is under attack.
     
  3. sartorialism

    sartorialism Senior member

    Messages:
    1,065
    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2008
    Location:
    New York
    I just found this thread and I can't stop reading! AMAZING!
     
  4. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Senior member

    Messages:
    13,923
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Location:
    McAnally Flats
    I think he's mexican.

    So douchefriend told me his 4 choices for a halloween costume:

    2. Nazi SS officer


    He should definitely run for office some day
     
  5. Saltricks

    Saltricks Senior member

    Messages:
    763
    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2010
    Location:
    Walnut, CA
    Douchefriend "Succeeds" I know it's been awhile, but hopefully you guys haven't forgotten about douchefriend. Douchefriend isn't all about failure, misery, and rapidly failing liver function due to alcohol abuse. At times, he is successful. Though it boggles the mind, I must admit he has a gift...I'll call it hyper drunk girl acuity. He can sense a drunk girl in the middle of a crowd, and he gravitates toward them like Mike Tyson's foot to the back of someone walking down the stairs. At first I was skeptical when he told me his "success" stories (and could you blame me?). At EDC, a large rave in Los Angeles, he said that he had made out with 5 girls. That was his record. 5 girls became 6, then 4, then 7 and so on. So one day I called his bluff. We were out in downtown fullerton getting trashed when he stopped in the middle of our conversation and started staring at this decent looking white girl, maybe a 7. "Dance with her!" I said to him. So he does. He makes his way through the crowd and starts dancing awkwardly with this girl, who actually has another guy dancing with her. He does his little hopping c-step thing, and starts doing "the wave" with his arms, J&B gripped tightly in his hands, drinking from the straw inbetween beats. The other guy behind her isn't bad looking, but for whatever fucked up reason this universe created, she gravitates towards douche friend. The guy looks sad, and leaves to go masturbate in the toilet probably, but the girl stays behind and starts dancing with douchefriend. Then, out of fucking nowhere, he bends over and they start making out. I can see his tongue flicking around, and instead of the logical reaction (kicking him in the nuts, screaming, setting him aflame with a lighter/binaca) she does the unthinkable: she keeps kissing him. They are really getting into it. I am standing there, confused, my mouth dropping open. This guy is trying to compliment my suit but I just push him away and try to get to douchefriend. I get to him and he notices I'm there and he starts elbowing me, motioning to her ugly friend who he wants me to dance with. I know I should help him out, but I get myself a drink instead. The music stops as the club is closing, and I follow them as they walk outside...HOLDING HANDS?? I throw up a little in my mouth. I listen to the conversation outside: Douchefriend: So, where you from? Drunk girl: blah blah blah, out of town Douchefriend: I see, well...bye! Drunk girl: ??? Then he walks back to me, smiling. I am confused. No number, no nothing, no name even. I ask him why and he says something like "I'm having fun I guess, makeout with chicks, its fun". Ok, whatever. I thought it was a fluke but it happened again at another club. It was one of those seedy clubs, filled with lots of people with double digit IQs, the number of dirty vans and untucked baggy shirts was sickening. Me and him are just hanging by one of the walls, and this short, chubby mexican chick stumbles over to douchefriend. She says "I think you're hot" and they start dancing. He is doing the "grease lightning" finger point and thrusting his hips and she gets turned on this I guess, because he makes a move and starts MAKING OUT WITH HER! A flash of one of the strobes, however, revealed her true nature to me. It was like that part of Fight Club when you realize that Tyler Durden is the same person, except in this case, tyler durden was a burn victim who had gotten chicken pox. It looked like someone had poured boiling hot nacho cheese right on her forehead. She was ugly. But here he was making out with her, just like he had done with the 7. Afterwards, he comes back to me and I drag him out of the club. I'm about to say something but he asks me a question: Douchefriend: "So dude, how how was that girl right now?" Me: Do you want me to make you feel better or tell you the truth? Douchefriend: The truth dude! Me: A 4...maybe 4.5. Douchefriend pauses for a second: Whatever, thats fine. WOOOH MADE OUT WITH TWO GIRLS WOOOHHH Then he proceeded to "shuffle" (I think thats what its called) while thumping his hand in the air. So apparently, douchefriend goes up to random girls, makes out with them, and keeps count. He never gets their name, number, or goes any farther. I guess we take what we can get.
     
  6. Nil

    Nil Senior member

    Messages:
    9,362
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2005
    Not really a success in my books if you're over the age of 19-20. It's actually a minor failure: you made out but went no further? Why couldn't you close the deal? Etc. etc. etc.

    I suppose I'm happy that he's happy, but it's still rather pathetic.
     
  7. mordecai

    mordecai Senior member

    Messages:
    11,479
    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    oh joys. this again.
     
  8. Davidko19

    Davidko19 Senior member

    Messages:
    2,411
    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Id make out with a chick any night, sex or not. Its better than nothing, so props to him!

    I really wanna hang with this guy. St Pattys day plans? Or come down to LB for the GP!
     
  9. sartorialism

    sartorialism Senior member

    Messages:
    1,065
    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2008
    Location:
    New York
    This thread is pure genius and I'm thrilled that it's running again! (I hope I had something to do with that [​IMG])

    Keep 'em coming!
     
  10. jblazing

    jblazing Active Member

    Messages:
    42
    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Figured it out. Douchefriend is a homosexual, not that there is anything wrong with that.
     
  11. cheez80

    cheez80 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    72
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2006
    OMG MOAR

    i just spent an hour reading through this thread hahaha
     
  12. dabestspoona

    dabestspoona Active Member

    Messages:
    30
    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2012
  13. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

    Messages:
    18,044
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2009
    Location:
    Central Booking
    

    From a year ago??
     
  14. AndyMG

    AndyMG Senior member

    Messages:
    174
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2011
    Location:
    UK
    Just spent an hour or so reading this thread. I love it. Everyone should have a Douchefriend!
     
  15. twenty3

    twenty3 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    56
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2012
    Location:
    Where dreams become reality
    Hope this isn't too much of a bump, but the drunk girl was probably hot, and we all know that hot girls love DUMB guys. Dumb girls also love dumb guys. Hope I don't sound bitter!!
     
  16. sinnedk

    sinnedk Senior member

    Messages:
    12,068
    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2010
    Location:
    San Francisco
    oh man i am up to origins of douchefriend, this is awfully funny
     
  17. sinnedk

    sinnedk Senior member

    Messages:
    12,068
    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2010
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Ok dude after reading all this, while quiet entertaining at times i find you just as bad as your friend, you didnt stop him from doing dumb shit when you guys were younger, you idly watched and now are dealing with the consequences, in fact i dont understand why you are friends with this guy, is it guilt of some sort?

    even in your writing there are some cocky arrogant things, difference is you know how to muffle yourself when needed, the club story just made you look really bad, especially the way you look/judge at women...

    oh and btw Armenians are not middle eastern (thats just ignorant)
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2012
  18. CDHagg

    CDHagg Senior member

    Messages:
    1,284
    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2011
  19. Saltricks

    Saltricks Senior member

    Messages:
    763
    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2010
    Location:
    Walnut, CA
  20. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

    Messages:
    18,044
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2009
    Location:
    Central Booking
    Last edited: May 27, 2014

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by