How to walk, stand, sit and interact like a confident gentleman?

[nordicstyle]

On a side note, I also find it fascinating how Stallone is able to show a person with low self-esteem who still wants to be (and eventually ends up) as a very macho man in the first Rocky movie. It's quite interesting to watch how the Rocky character transforms during the movie, both in his actions and his attitude/self-image (i.e. by the way he walks, talks and "handles" himself).

I guess the conclusion is that self-confidence and mental image of oneself is a very important factor affecting how you are perceived by others. If you convince yourself that you are self-confident and outgoing, you will also be seen as such by others (hopefully).

 

[robin]

 

[nordicstyle]

Originally Posted by robin

Classic!

 

[fredfred]

For "standing around" (e.g. bus stop) - you can stand with your feet shoulder width apart, your head up, and with your hands behind your back, one hand clasping the other wrist.

In the latest Bond flick (solace) Daniel Craig strikes/uses this exact pose in one of the scenes.

The result is strength & grounded, alert, and hands in a non-threatening location.

True Story: The first night I consciously used this stance at a party a female friend of my girl friend came up to her and said, "He is such a man, there's something about him...". I almost laughed when she told me that - and then when I saw it in the Bond movie it have me a knowing smile.


So that's the bus stop and other location stance thing.

As for talking with people, it depends. You are seen as the "alpha male" if you put your hand on the back of a guy in a conversation - like you are giving him instructions or something. Leno does it all the time on his show - and did it to Conan the last time he was on and they were fighting for supremcy in their conversation. More recently, President Obama did it to the reporter when he came down to say hello and the reporter started yelling questions.

I grew up in a non-touching culture, so I'm not too good at touching guys yet. (please no comments from the peanut gallery - not on a line that easy).

 

[voxsartoria]

GI Joe offers a range of poses that work pretty well from a macho sense, even if you are a girl:

- B

 

[Lear]

Hope I'm not straying into Body Conciousness territory.

I feel that posture, gait, body fitness and confidence, all play such a vital part in style. As important as the extra pair of John Lobb shoes, or the bespoke suit.

I'm trying to think of a hypothetical situation... OK... How about this:

Imagine a group of SF members. A parade of obese wobble-bottoms, who even on a good day, lose numerous shirt buttons to extreme tummy pressure. They have enough chins to keep a nationwide chain of Chins'R'Us shops, supplied for an entire year. Such an over-abundance of chins in fact, that if there was a sudden run on chins, they'd still have enough inventory to see them through the January 2010 sales. Now imagine that same group of individuals with appalling posture, not knowing which way to twist in order to minimise the bloat.

But enough of this imagined scenario...

The point I'm trying to make (yeah, I know, what the hell is my point), is that the acquisition of fine clothing HAS to happen, in parallel to looking the best you can, walking tall and moving with confidence. How can someone, of whatever age, slam down thousands of dollars on fine clothing, yet not do a single thing about the very object it's encasing.

I feel that the OP question, is one of the most important in the entire SF archive.

I guess this post is going to get me a lot of hate. Oh well...

Lear

 

[voxsartoria]

Originally Posted by Lear

How can someone, of whatever age, slam down thousands of dollars on fine clothing, yet not do a single thing about the very object it's encasing.

I think that most North American members brush their teeth at least once a day with a manual toothbrush. Some use a circular motion, others more back and forth.

True, few floss.

- B

 

[Christoff]

Sitting at a table or meeting, I normally have my forearms resting on the edge of the table or my hands cupped together on my lap.
Standing at a bus-stop, normally just in my pockets but with my thumbs out, I remember reading somewhere that this may still be reserved, but is also a bit more open then the whole hand in the pocket. If I have a bag with me, normally one hand is clutched to the strap with the other just handing loose.
Sometimes I put my hands behind my back, grasping one wrist with the other, but for the most part I find this stance is kinda of beyond my years being that I am still in my early 20s, so doing this can also look like Im cuffed lol
Anyone have any thought on the thumb placement I spoke about? I dont remember were I read it, but it was in a male etiquette guide I believe.

 

[Doc4]

Originally Posted by nordicstyle

This is actually one of the reasons (among many others) I have considered training tai-chi or wushu (kung fu). I just started training some "casual" boxing (i.e. no fighting, but learning the basic skills of how to stand, move and hit, and also it's great cardio exercise). I think it also helps on the body awareness issue.




If you get into a traditional martial art, there's a lot of emphasis on proper posture, and the katas really focus on doing an exact set of movements with precision, so I'd say that would help you a lot more than the boxing.

Oh, just be more like Michael Caine than the other one ...

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[nordicstyle]

Originally Posted by fredfred

For "standing around" (e.g. bus stop) - you can stand with your feet shoulder width apart, your head up, and with your hands behind your back, one hand clasping the other wrist.

I also stand like this sometimes, and while it's quite comfortable I can't help feel it has a certain "military" or "bodyguard" association attached to it. The same thing goes for holding hands at belt level or just below in front of you (palms over each other or one hand grabbing the other hand's wrist). Sticking your thumbs in your pockets or inside your pant's waist while letting the hand rest on the outside also works, but with this "stance" I get a cowboy association. I guess both cowboys, soldiers and bodygards generally are perceived as quite manly, so maybe it's not such a bad thing after all...

I think the hands behind your back thing works much better when you are walking casually along the street (possibly talking to someone walking by your side).

Originally Posted by fredfred

In the latest Bond flick (solace) Daniel Craig strikes/uses this exact pose in one of the scenes.

I haven't seen that one yet, but I will look for it when I do.

Originally Posted by fredfred

As for talking with people, it depends. You are seen as the "alpha male" if you put your hand on the back of a guy in a conversation - like you are giving him instructions or something. Leno does it all the time on his show - and did it to Conan the last time he was on and they were fighting for supremcy in their conversation. More recently, President Obama did it to the reporter when he came down to say hello and the reporter started yelling questions.

Personally I immediately recognize this as a suppression technique, and I don't care much for it. Some people are able to pull it off in a friendly manner, but most of the time I just find it creepy and/or annoying.

Originally Posted by fredfred

I grew up in a non-touching culture, so I'm not too good at touching guys yet. (please no comments from the peanut gallery - not on a line that easy).

I do it with guys I know well, but then as a way of expressing my appreciation for them or the situation, not to "take control".

Originally Posted by voxsartoria

GI Joe offers a range of poses that work pretty well from a macho sense, even if you are a girl:

I recognize the upper left one as quite popular among bank robbers.

Originally Posted by Lear

I feel that posture, gait, body fitness and confidence, all play such a vital part in style. As important as the extra pair of John Lobb shoes, or the bespoke suit.

I absolutely agree. You can put a man in the finest bespoke suit and he will not look good unless he feels confident and comfortable with wearing it.

Originally Posted by Christoff

Sitting at a table or meeting, I normally have my forearms resting on the edge of the table or my hands cupped together on my lap.

When I see hands folded in lap, for some reason I think of "little shy schoolgirl", not a very masculine appearance.

Originally Posted by Christoff

Standing at a bus-stop, normally just in my pockets but with my thumbs out, I remember reading somewhere that this may still be reserved, but is also a bit more open then the whole hand in the pocket.

I also do this, but I always felt a bit stupid for doing it. It's just a habit of mine, and I never really thought of why I do it that way.

 

[idfnl]

You might consider Rolfing, also called "structural integration", its well noted for the work that is done on posture and body alignment.

http://rolf.org

I could work on standing up strait when I take a leak. I had a Sen Larry Craig moment a couple of weeks ago. Apparently the janitor who who cleans in the building I was in mops the bathroom floors with bacon grease.

I was taking a leak with a guy next to me when my legs start to slide apart due to my leather soled shoes. Scared to death I'd piss myself if I shuffled my feet back in place I turned the turbo boost on the stream... to no avail. The guy next to me I guess had a naturally wide stance and my foot tapped his...

he looked over at me... I stared strait ahead, eyes fixed on the funny face you get when you stare at the stainless steel on the handles.

******* case for wearing rubber soled shoes if there ever was one.

 

[2fingers]

lol! Lucky you weren't next to Larry Craig!

Well, this should really be in body consciouness, but since it's started here..

I tried Rolfing for posture problems and was not impressed. I recently started on the Alexander Technique which is not a therapy but all about re-learning that natural poise and stance that we all have as small children, not just in sitting ot standing, but in every action that we do. The shoulders-back military stance is unnatural and imbalanced.

If when sitting you feel the need to support your head with your hands then it's not in balance with the rest on your body - the head weighs 5 kg (12 lbs) and needs to be vertically aligned with key points in the spine, pelvis and heels.

Once proper 'USE' is learned, stadning waiting for a bus with hands to your side feels and looks quite natural and not tiring.

Some links here - http://helliemulvaney.co.uk/links.shtml

 

[bigbris1]

Originally Posted by idfnl

Apparently the janitor who who cleans in the building I was in mops the bathroom floors with bacon grease.

I was taking a leak with a guy next to me when my legs start to slide apart due to my leather soled shoes. Scared to death I'd piss myself if I shuffled my feet back in place I turned the turbo boost on the stream... to no avail. The guy next to me I guess had a naturally wide stance and my foot tapped his...

he looked over at me... I stared strait ahead, eyes fixed on the funny face you get when you stare at the stainless steel on the handles.

:rofl:

 

[bluemagic]

I wish more people would take this thread seriously. You can see from WAYWTs that people on this site (including me) have much to learn in this area.

 

[adagio]

Originally Posted by idfnl

I was taking a leak with a guy next to me when my legs start to slide apart due to my leather soled shoes. Scared to death I'd piss myself if I shuffled my feet back in place I turned the turbo boost on the stream... to no avail. The guy next to me I guess had a naturally wide stance and my foot tapped his...

he looked over at me... I stared strait ahead, eyes fixed on the funny face you get when you stare at the stainless steel on the handles.

Lucky for you you weren't wearing your avatar as a badge.