How much to change wedding to accommodate family?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by mordecai, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. redcaimen

    redcaimen Bigtime

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    To echo the Geek, you should elope but only if you are absolutely certain that your wife to be is fine with that. Weddings are part of a womans dream life from about the age of 3. Better to put up with whatever short term bullcrap a wedding throws at you than to shortchange your wife on something that may be very important to her. Plus its good practice for your new life of constantly putting up with short term bullcrap to accomodate your wifes wishes. Might as well start now.

    But whats the problem? You seem to have come up with a perfectly fine work around for your sisters religious needs. If she still wont go for it after going to the trouble of putting her up a mile from the wedding etc.. then Im going to side with Globe and say fuck her.

    Do what your future wife wants. Personally I would elope.
     


  2. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

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    The fiancee actually told me about it and said she really didn't know and that if I had a strong opinion one way or the other we should go with that. We're actually torn about it. I mean it sounds better and better. I emailed her that I was reconsidering it earlier today and she said she was too and was glad I brought it up.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2012


  3. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    hey, you want me to talk to your sister?


    seriously, think carefully if you want to give up your wedding plans for your sister. also, will this make you her bitch for the rest of your life?
     


  4. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

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    lol, it isn't that. i have no problem telling her "sorry, you decide if you want to be there." it's just how the conversation got started and now that it has started it's seeming like not a bad idea. Start our marriage having spent thousands of our own dollars for the wedding or start it with a nice honeymoon, maybe a nice dinner for close family and friends, and a lot more money in the bank. Or with our own house and no debts owed to anyone but the bank.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2012


  5. mcbrown

    mcbrown Senior member

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    This. The saying is "happy wife, happy life", not "happy sister, happy life."

    But do continue to offer your sister reasonable (even more than reasonable) accommodation for her religious preferences. Take the high road, act like the good guy, and leave it to the rest of your family to tell her she is being ridiculous. She will come around.
     


  6. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    ok, can't argue there. but the offer is still open...
     


  7. mcbrown

    mcbrown Senior member

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    This is a fine outcome as well. As long as it's really what BOTH you and your wife want.
     


  8. dopey

    dopey Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    This is the right response. I read the rest of the thread and, eloping aside, if you go the wedding-on-Saturday-and-accommodate-her-as-best-you-can route, she will eventually come around and attend, though I have no doubt she will be uncomfortable at times (like with the food, music, microphones and dancing). Also, the idea that you and your sister inevitably won't talk to each other in ten years because of religious differences is stupid (sorry Globe). Every family is different and lots of families manage to accommodate differences (I say from personal experience). Sometimes it works and sometimes not.
     


  9. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    ok, but you have to promise me that if you do elope, you call your sister and say "it's your fault my wife won't get the wedding of her dreams, you owe me big time" and then milk it for the next 20 years, including making them come to your house for passover and puting butter on the table. please.
     


  10. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    yes, well, dopey is probably right
     


  11. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

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    LOL
     


  12. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    I would keep it on Sat and offer suggestions to have you sis there the day before so she could attend.
     


  13. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    globe's sentiments towards his own sister are strong in this thread!

    Mord, Know how much my wedding will cost me? $350! That ignores the vacation cost but we'd have taken a vacation no matter what. Even for her dress she's elected to go with a simple white affair and i'm just doing the slacks and white linen shirt thing since we're being married on an empty white sand beach in front of the house we've rented on an undeveloped island in the caribbean.

    It sounds like you're not paying for your wedding, or are at least are getting substantial help, but give it serious thought. Who wants unnecessary debt? Especially in these times, it would make sense to start life with her unencumbered. As you're a man, I'm assuming that you're not very sentimental about the whole wedding ceremony thing, but Globe is right about their childish wedding dreams so don't do any hard selling on this... Definitely float the idea by saying something like "wouldn't it be nice to just elope?" after you finish discussing your PITA sister? Plant the seed and see where it goes.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2012


  14. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    russian mail order bride?

    j/k, geek.. congratulations!



    still have to consider that almost every woman wants that walking down the aisle in a gown thing at least once in their life even if they're saying they're fine without it.
     


  15. gomestar

    gomestar Super Yelper

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    this. Even if she says she's ok with it and you believe her, tread cautiously.
     


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